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It seems like a million years ago though it was actually 28.
The day I met the man I was going to marry will be forever
edged in my repertoire of good memories of a marriage gone
bad. Maxine, my good friend from elementary school had
returned home to her mother and to Nova Scotia, the place of
her birth.
Maxine, while here in Montreal, lived with her father and
his new wife. It was a blended family with children from
both marriages living in the same house. Since I was
constantly at the house I was practically considered one of
the children myself. I spent more time in Maxine??™s home as a
teenager, than I did in my own. When Maxine left, I still
continued to visit the family.
It was during this period that the relationship between
Maxine??™s step mother and I had changed. Jose, the step
mother was still young (28 years old) and I was 16. Maxine??™s
father was considerably older. I would guess that he was
around 50 at the time. Jose had two children from her
previous marriage and a child with Maxine??™s father. The
child, Tanya, was a baby at the time. Jose came from a
different part of the city and did not know many people.
Maxine??™s father being an older man was extremely jealous of
his young wife??™s beauty and guarded her every move. He was
very particular about the people she was allowed to
associate with. He always feared that she would leave him
for a younger man. However, I was no threat to him. It was
perhaps because of this reason that Jose and I became the
best of friends, despite the age difference.
For four years we were the best of friends and despite my
tender years, I was indeed the only person that Jose could
turn to when she needed some one to talk to. Her marriage
started to crumble and she was extremely unhappy. There were
many arguments and Jose would come to me for support.
Eventually the marriage failed. Maxine??™s father returned to
Nova Scotia with his son but left Jose to her own means here
in Montreal with her three children; two from her previous
marriage and Tanya.
Living alone was not easy for a single mother with three
young children. Jose sent her older children to live with
their own father and she kept Tanya. But Jose began to
change. Now that she was literally free with no man to
control her, she let her wild side surface. It seemed that
what Maxine??™s father feared was now happening but only after
the marriage had broken up and he had left her. Jose had a
series of boyfriend??™s who did not seem to stay around long
enough to make a commitment. However I feared they stayed
long enough to make an impression on Tanya.
As for me personally, I had lost the first love of my life
and after 4 years I still did not date. I was very quiet and
reserved; nothing like Jose at all. Yet we remained friends
and on occasion I would go with her to meet her latest
boyfriend.
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It was as if it was yesterday. I can remember the day so
vividly. It was Victoria Day here in Canada on May 24, 1975.
It was a beautiful day; hot and sunny. Since I had the day
off from work I decided to make a visit to Jose??™s apartment.
I hadn't bothered to call her before I arrived. I figured
she would be home anyhow. When I got there she was
practically on her way out the door with Tanya to meet her
boyfriend so she asked me to come along. They were meeting
in the local park nicknamed Pigeon Park which was the local
hangout for young people at the time.
Off we went. When we got there Jose met all kinds of young
men that she knew. Of course I didn't know a soul. Jose
never got to see her boyfriend that day but she did meet a
young man there who was also quiet and reserved. She
introduced him to me. His name was Tony Roach. The four of
us sat at the base of the statue of a Canadian explorer in
the center of the park. Jose and Tony talked and shared
cigarettes all day long while I more or less entertained
Tanya. I was too shy and reserved to talk to this stranger
though I found him handsome.
Before you knew it the sun had set and it started to get
chilly in the evening breeze. I sat shivering but never said
a word. I was still waiting for Jose to make the first move
and to say it was time to leave. She never did. Instead she
announced that she was cold and Tony, the gentleman that he
was, offered her his jacket. Now I felt kind of silly, I was
the one sitting here shivering and she was the one that got
the jacket.
I got up and announced that I was going home. Both of them
looked up oblivious to the obvious to ask me why. Jose was
fine with me going but Tony surprised me. He had said very
little to me all day yet now he stated that he didn't want
me to go and he would keep me warm by putting his arms
around me. I don't know what got me to agree. It was totally
out of character for me but I felt compelled to be with this
young man.
Once I got to sitting beside him we began to talk and he
told me that he was a recent immigrant from Barbados. I hung
onto his every word. He was 19 years old, lived with his
uncle here in Montreal and was very homesick. My heart went
out to this young man. It also helped that he was gorgeous.
He had the greenest eyes that I had ever seen and I was
intoxicated by his charm. By this time Jose was getting
impatient and she was ready to go home. He did not object
when she announced that she was leaving either. All his
attention was directed towards me.
Later that evening when I really had to leave, he asked me
for a date of sorts. He invited me to go to the lake the
next day and to bring Tanya along. No mention was made of
Jose. Normally, I would have said no to a date because I
just did not date. But because this was truly an
unconventional date I accepted.
The following morning I went to work and announced to my
co-workers that I had met the man I was going to marry. My
heart was so full of joy, something I had not experienced in
a long while. Frankly they thought I was crazy but I knew in
my soul that it was meant to be. Eleven months later the
wedding took place.
Carol Roach
Winterose
@
videotron.ca
Be sure to obtain a copy of My new Book: Picking Up The
Pieces: A Woman??™s Journey when it is released sometime in
2004. Details to follow.
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May you be blessed today
Bob Johnston
Editor / Publisher
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