A while back one of my long time friends and I were talking about something that happened when we were younger. My friend asked, "Wouldn't you love to go back and live it over? Knowing what I know now, there are many things I should have done differently. Mistakes I have made that I would not make again. People I could have been kinder to."

That started me thinking. Would I really want to go back in time? If so, what would I change and why? Would I make a perfect life for myself and how would it affect other people? Lets just suppose there was a magic time machine that could transport us back to any year we choose. What age would you be?

Would you want to return to childhood and do your entire life over? My parents were strong on discipline, and then came puberty. I don't want to do that again. Or maybe you would like to return as a teenager. Would you like to endure the pain and anguish all teens seem to go through? The zits and bad hair days and clothes that don't fit. Worrying about not being liked, or no invitation to the prom. Being tempted by drinking or taking drugs. The worry of making failing grades and the curfews. Oh! No!

Lets skip all the growing up and return to the time when we were young adults. We wouldn't want to miss out on our courtship, marriage and child bearing would we? Having a "steady" to go out with. Becoming engaged. Making a commitment to love and honor for life. Being pregnant and having babies. Now that was a fun time, wasn't it? Unless you had a bad marriage and a nasty divorce, as I, and lots of others did, perhaps we should set the time machine for a little bit later like raising two teens as a single parent. Working two jobs to make ends meet. Being invited out and not having time to go. Being a week end Mom. Nah! Too much heartache there.

Move that dial a few years forward and set the machine for when your first grand child entered our world. That's more like it, isn't it? Well, actually, that wasn't so long ago. Not many years here to relive. It was a very happy time for me, but then, if I set the dial for those days, it would mean my husband would also have to relive five long years of suffering, and then death. My mother would also die of cancer. No, I wouldn't want to put them, or me, through all that pain and heartache.

After giving it thought, I believe I am right where God wants me to be right now. It is also where I want to be. God wanted me to make mistakes, to live in hills and valleys, to know pain and to know happiness. It was all part of His plan.

If I found a magic time machine, I would take a hammer and smash it. Our world is not yet ready for that. One lifetime through this world is quite enough, thank you. No instant replays, please.

"The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on."

Omar Khayyam

March 2007