Maddie was sitting by the window in the kitchen.
The light was better to see the apron she was stitching. She took a
handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed at the tears on her cheek.
The police officer had just left. He had come to
tell her and Bob, her husband, about the accident that had taken the life of
Ray, their oldest son. He had been killed by a drunken driver while working
for the city driving a water truck that washed the streets. The police
captain had dispatched the officer to go in person and deliver the news, to
let them know Ray had died instantly, and did not suffer. Ray was 35 years
old. Bob came in, moved a chair near Maddie, and sat down. He reached over
and patted her arm. "Are you all right? We need to pray." he said.
"I don't feel like talking to God now. Two years
ago He took Frances, our first born daughter, with meningitis. He took
Herbert when he was only 16 and fell from the train car he was working on at
the railroad roundhouse. It was hit from behind by a careless person who
wasn't watching out for my son. Dora, my youngest child, was taken from me
with the flu. She was only eighteen months and had no chance to live. Now,
He has claimed my oldest and dearest. I have three children left out of
seven. Will He take them too? Do I just sit and wait until they are all
gone? When Ray drove past our house today on his way to work, I did not know
it would be the last time I would ever see his smile or wave to him. Why
wasn't I forewarned or even allowed a proper goodbye? Am I being punished
for my sins? What did I ever do to deserve losing four children? Have I been
a bad mother? Where was God when my children were dying? He could have saved
them. No, I have nothing to say to Him at this time."
Bob knew it was useless to make any further
attempt at conversation with Maddie. He placed his hands over his face and
silently wept. When his tears were spent, Bob arose and poured two cups of
tea from the pot that was always hot. He added sugar to both cups, then
added milk to Maddie's cup. He passed the tea over to Maddie who took it
without a word. She sipped slowly, wiping tears between sips. When the tea
was finished, Bob asked Maddie if he could talk to her a bit. He took her
hand in his before saying, "Maddie, you asked me where was God when our
children were dying. Let me tell you that he was there. He took Ray by the
hand and removed him quickly from his earthly body so he felt no pain. He
did the same when Herbert fell off the train where he was working. Neither
of our girls lingered but a few days. God was there then, and He is here
now. He is always with us. God never left the children. Those children were
never ours. They've belonged to God the whole time they were with us. I
don't know why He chose to take them, and I won't question His reasons.
Maybe someday He will reveal it to us. Until then, I will put my hand in His
and go where He leads me. My faith will sustain me. I can tell you that
those children were not taken for sins you may have committed or because you
were not a good mother. You always have been a good mother and wife. There
is no way I can ease your pain. I am in pain too. I can only cry with you.
You will have to ask God for help with the pain. We need to talk to Him and
ask His help in getting through this bad time. Now we must make arrangements
to bury our son's earthly body, knowing his soul is with God."
Maddie bowed her head and Bob was sure she was
making her peace. They sat in silence until Maddie arose to wash her cup.
"Yes, Bob, you are right. I know there is a reason for everything. Sometimes
it is really hard to see it. We have to trust God to know best."
Five years later, Bob was called home. He told
Maddie as he lay sick with cancer that he knew now why his children had gone
on before. They would be there to welcome him when he arrived.
Maddie would say later she knew there was a
wonderful, glorious family reunion with Bob and their children. Her three
remaining children would be a comfort to her until the end of her days.
cbwest@webtv.net
