The conversation was lively that day, even though the subject was
. . . unmentionable.
Not that there was anything unseemly being discussed. It was an
appropriate conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter.
They were talking about . . . you know . . . stuff. Lady stuff. The
kind of lady stuff about which moms need to talk with their teenage
daughters.
Unfortunately, it wasn't just moms and teenage daughters driving
together in the car that day. There was also 9-year-old Elizabeth,
soaking it all in even though most of the conversation was taking
place about six feet over her head. Ditto 7-year-old Jonathan
(although it is sometimes difficult to tell whether he is "soaking
it all in" or just having a Nintendo flashback).
Then there was the driver: uh, that would be me. I was trying to
be mature about the whole thing. I sat there, silently listening,
occasionally nodding my head. But beneath the surface, where no one
could see, I had my hands over my ears and I was loudly chanting
"La-la-la-la-la. . . "
Hey, I’m a father, but I'm also a guy. And talking about lady
stuff makes guys go "la-la."
So we're cruising along, minding our "lady stuff" business (or
trying not to mind it, as the case may be), when suddenly a little
voice emanates from the back seat: "I have a question."
Those are chilling words to a parent, especially coming out of
the mouth of a 7-year-old. Especially when he's a boy, and the topic
on the table is . . . well, you know. We wondered how much he had
heard. We wondered how much he had understood. We wondered how long
it would be before we saw his face on the cover of the National
Enquirer with the headline: "Psychopathic Teenager Blames Parents
Who Forced Him to Listen to Lady Stuff."
We braced ourselves: "What is it, Jon?"
He paused, thoughtfully. Then he asked: "Can I have something to
eat?"
Turns out Jon wasn't at all concerned that he didn't understand
the things that were being discussed in the front seat of the car.
He was content in his own world, except for one thing: he was
hungry. But he knew what he could do about that, and he focused on
taking care of the situation.
In many ways I wish I could be more like Jon. I find myself
spending an awful lot of time worrying about Things I Can't Do
Anything About. Some of them are cosmic and incomprehensible. Others
are just silly – uncontrollable irritants in an imperfect world.
These days, for example, it's the NBA. When my team wins, I worry
that they'll become complacent. When they lose, I worry that they
have lost confidence. When the breaks go their way, I worry that the
victory will be tainted. When the breaks go against them, I worry
that the entire league is conspiring to get them.
I worry about my team a lot. But when it comes right down to it,
my worrying doesn't make a bit of difference. It doesn't help them
to play better or to have a better attitude or to STOP TAKING SO
MANY STUPID SHOTS AND PLAY BETTER DEFENSE!!!
See what I mean?
It just frustrates me, and that doesn't help anyone. Which is not
to say that I'm recommending a "don't worry, be happy" approach to
life. There are plenty of things about which we should be concerned,
and we should do everything we can to make positive changes in the
world. But in the words of a well-known prayer, we need to ask God
to grant us "the courage to change the things that I can change, the
serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know
the difference."
Unmentionable, or not.
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