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? I
have a loving husband and we have been married for almost 47
years.? Life has not always been so rosy but if I can rise
above? the circumstances of my childhood then there is hope
for you, my dear friend.? If you are reading this and
wondering where? "oh, where can I go from here?" this may be
helpful.
It was 1946 and my family had just
moved from a small community to another small community to
another rental house. I lived in rental houses until I was
married. I never knew what it was to have my own bedroom. In
fact the bathroom was located so that one had to go through
our bedroom to get there which for a very modest young girl
was not very much fun.? But, we survived somehow.?
? A lot of my life revolved around a
drunken father fighting with one of his sons who was also
drunk.? I was the youngest of ten children and Mama would
often send me to the Police station to have the Chief come
by the house to try and scare my father into stopping the
fighting.? Many a time I watched as my poor mother would try
to stop them herself and I would watch as the buttons on her
housedress would fly off as she unsuccessfully got herself
in the middle trying to stop the fight. The Chief had less
success himself for he was afraid of my father with good
reason. One night as he was called to the local VFW to stop
Daddy from another fight, my father grabbed him by the
throat and took him into the bathroom and shoved his head
down the commode flushing it several times.
Stories like these followed me most of
my life. What a heritage to leave a daughter. Those years
were only tolerable because of the wonderful neighbors we
had? back then. My father despised them because they were a
different color than we were although I never noticed their
color for they were so good to me and my sisters.? I once
told my father I did not understand his dislike for them for
they were from someplace else just as he was since he was
born in Sicily.? For that I found myself on the other side
of the room with a large red bruise on the side of my face.?
? These neighbors would hear my father
start with his hollering and fussing and quietly they would
call my sisters and me to come to their house where we would
go upstairs and lay across Eleanor's lovely bed and she
would allow me to hold one of her precious music boxes and I
would fall asleep with the music playing softly in my ears.?
How kind these people were to us.? They showed us the love
of Jesus before I was ever knowledgeable of Him.? I treasure
the memories of them.? There were three girls, Natalie,
Audra and my dearest friend Eleanor.? We would walk to the
movie together and Eleanor would try to explain to a very
young little girl why we? ? ? were not allowed to sit
together. I would cry and she would promise to meet me at
the foot of the stairs as soon as the movie was over. Often
she would sit over us and sometimes she would throw popcorn
down to me
Our neighborhood back then was multi
racial I guess one would call it nowadays.? We had a group
of Jewish people on the corner and as I think back on it
now, I realize they must have flown? here to avoid the
horrible holocaust that killed so many innocent people back
then.? I guess we were the token white folks in the
neighborhood although with Daddy being Italian, maybe we
were something else. Not too sure about that. I do know that
living there made my mind up at a very early age that the
color of your skin meant nothing. What was important was
what was inside a person.?
? There were many other fine folks
living on that street. Another colored family was the
Phillips and they made a big impression on me. They had no
children and they sort of adopted several of us from the
area. On Thursday evenings they would go and get groceries
and take turns taking some of us children with them. That
was a trip to treasure.? They always bought us a treat and
not only that but they taught us to eat with chop sticks,
they educated us in the ways of people from other lands. She
was a dietician at the local VA hospital and her husband a
big bear of a man was a Postman. He later became a
Postmaster in Kecoughtan where the VA hospital was located.?
They were such fine? ? people.? As I said, growing up in that
neighborhood prepared me in a positive way for integration
in 1960.
Later on after I had married in 1959,
I? graduated from High School as I had promised my mother I
would do.? ? I was sitting in a five and dime store having
lunch a black girl from the local college came up to me with
a steno pad and asked me if I would mind if she sat beside
me and had lunch. I told her I would be pleased to have
her.? She smiled and wrote down my response. Little did I
know that preceded the first sit-in the following day in
Hampton, VA.? The pictures were in the paper a couple of
days later and I was very proud that I had handled it in a
way that would be pleasing to God.
Integration came to Hampton very
quietly? with little or no problems, and for that I was very
grateful and proud of our city.
My father died when I was a month shy of seven years old and
I was not sad at all. I was grateful that he was gone.? My
mother and my sisters cried but I sat at my mother's feet as
she cried and I was ashamed that no tears came so I spit in
my hand and tried to make my? eyes look as though I were
crying and I? don't think anyone? noticed, to tell you the
truth.? My father was a very abusive man and he abused all
of us in more ways than one. I have forgiven him because not
to do so would hurt me as a Christian and to hold on to that
baggage would cause me more? problems than I needed. I was
sexually abused by a brother as were both of my dear
sisters.? This in itself could have ruined my life and my
feelings for men.? I know that as a child my mother would
have to turn pictures of her beloved sons down because my
sisters and I would get hysterical at times to see them or
to see a laundry man come for the laundry.? When I would do
a simple task such as sweeping off the front porch and a
male friend would drive by and wave or say? 'hello' it would
send me into a panic that would have me running screaming
into the house to be comforted by my mother.? I guess you
could say we were one mighty dysfunctional family before the
word was ever used.
No one ever knew about my past until I
married and somehow the man of God that He sent to me
handled me so well that I finally told him what my problem
was and he was so caring and loving that with his love and
God's love God truly created a? ? new person in me and now
there are no more nightmares and I have been able to serve
God for many years.? My life has been good, so good that if
He were to call me home today I could only praise His name
for the wonderful life He has given me.? I have survived
cancer for 17 years now and now I have one brother left out
of the six? who is the light of my life. One brother died at
33 and the other four died within five years of each other
of cancer.? I also have two sisters left who have serious
health? ? problems? and are very dear to my heart.? We have
often talked of our past and we mainly focus on the good
times and the wonderful people God has allowed us to have in
our lives. The man God gave me came into my life when I was
thirteen years old.? There is no doubt in my mind that God
selected him for me. We have two fine daughters and six
grandchildren that we adore.
Our dear Pastor, David Bounds, preached
last Sunday on what we were doing with our lives, were
we? going to sit or serve?? Good question.? I want to serve.?
In any way, in any place, however He wants me and I know
that wherever He wants me He will equip me to do His will.?
I have learned that whatever? adversity
we face God gives us the ability to? ? help others in a
similar situation.? When I recovered from Chemotherapy after
breast cancer I was able to share that it was not the horror
that we all have been so afraid to face. I also learned some
neat little tricks that made the recovery easier to deal
with as using a small baby's pillow to put underneath your
arm when you sleep.? ? I always try to make myself available
to anyone facing cancer for advice or just listening
anytime.
I also kn ow that by facing my
childhood fears I can help others so t hat hopefully someone
can leave that baggage at the altar before it consumes their
life.
And last but not least I was approaced
during the Christmas season at a local Wal-Mart by a nice
fella who helped me remove my coat as he pushed a cart out
for me to use.? He made the comment that he was sure I had
not had that much brown skin touching my skin in? my life. ? I
laughed and said "what do you mean? I am colorblind."? And
because of my past and the truths that God has allowed me to
learn over these past 61 years, I can honestly say that I am
colorblind and thankful for it.
Nanci L.
Stroupe
Hampton,
VA
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May your day be blessed
Bob Johnston |
