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I've never thought of hamburger as being threatening. Sure
when it was a cow it could have charged me and done some
damage but for hamburger meat to get wildly animated, I
never thought that would ever happen, and I have been
cooking it for more than thirty years. This week I changed
my views on that subject.
I set out to make spaghetti and began by browning almost
three pounds of hamburger. I was interrupted for almost ten
minutes when my services as a taxi driver were required. I
remembered to shut off the heat, and left.
I was soon back at the stove, put the heat on to a medium
temperature and stood next to the stove, chopping onions.
The house was quiet, with everyone off in their own little
corner, relaxing, when the quiet was rudely and violently
shattered by an explosive sound.
Shocked into a frozen state I was confused and mystified at
what could have happened and had no time to think because a
rain of hamburger hit simultaneous to the explosion.
I know I uttered a bewildered and loud unintelligible sound
as I stood riveted to the same spot and viewed the result of
this hamburger volcano. The kitchen floor was strewn with
hamburger and snowball size chunks of hamburger now graced
the stovetop. On one counter top I noticed the newly baked
chocolate cake now featured a hamburger icing. I looked down
at my feet to see hot grease surrounding me and even
hamburger hugging my stocking feet.
Where is a camera when you need one? I know the look on my
face must have been priceless. I began laughing, totally
relieved, but puzzled about what on earth had happened! I
was relieved that no hot fat hit me, considering my
proximity to the stove and the amount of fat that hit the
floor all around me.
It was my chef husband who later explained the mystery of
the attacking meat.
An oil bubble had formed under the hamburger as the
temperature on the bottom of the pot increased too quickly.
The weight of the meat held the bubble and allowed no escape
route for it. If I had been stirring the pot the bubble
never would have exploded. The stirring would have given the
built up gas a place to release.
Well the spaghetti turned out okay, there was enough left in
the pot to continue, but it may take me awhile to live down
the many jokes about Popcorn beef and how fresh Alberta Beef
really is.
(c) 2004 Ellie Braun-Haley
shaley@telusplanet.net
Ellie says she thinks her husband's recipe for spaghetti is
great but hers really packs a punch! And Debbie would know
why, this story is dedicated to her (Ellie's eldest
daughter)
Ellie's short stories have been published in numerous
magazines.
Ellie Braun-Haley
R.R.# 1
Bowden, Alberta, Canada
T0M 0K0
403 224 2992 evenings and weekends
403 342 5389 weekdays
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To read archived stories, click on this link:
http://archives.zinester.com/9516/2004
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Blessings to you today
Bob Johnston
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