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Yippee, Mommy said I could make another story! She also
said, ???Shiloh, you have more to say than anyone cares
about.??? I didn??™t argue with her since I still haven??™t
learned how to type, but I think she??™s wrong. She always
thinks she knows everything??¦??¦.
Last time I told you my Spelling Uncle
had been to visit and that he and Dad had gone to rent me a
deer. Well, when they got home they didn??™t bring me my deer
or anything else. What a bummer. I guess they ran out of
money. Maybe they will learn to save up before they go
again ??“ duh! I think they should have at least counted
their money before they took off for the stupid deer lease.
Why go if you don??™t have the money to rent one in the first
place? Oh yeah, I did hear them talking about hootin a hog
(WHOA! ??“ ???shootin??? a hog) on that trip. Whew, at least it
wasn??™t a dog ??“ yikes!
My Uncle and Aunt left after about a
week, and three days later we had more company. I think all
that kind of fun is over because Mommy is breaking the
kitchen walls! Yep, we had some pretty stuff on the walls
and she??™s ripping it off. She keeps complaining about using
some bad sizing last time. Who knows what that means? The
guy at the Lowe??™s store sold her some wall healer stuff (gggrrr
??“ ???wall sealer stuff???) that will fix the walls when she is
done with all that ripping. I ???m getting really worried
because it is soooo ugly in there and she??™s getting really
cranky and tired. All I know is she better find some pretty
stuff to cover up the mess she??™s made! I don??™t need to live
in a place that looks like this. At least she??™s only fallen
off the ladder once so far. But, I??™d bet a milk bone she
falls again before she??™s done. She??™s such a klutz.
Since Mommy is so busy I??™ve had lots of
time to take naps and think. Yep, Schnauzers spend lots of
time thinking. During one of my naps I started dreaming
about Christmas ??“ I love Christmas. I think about it all
year long because it is so much fun and I get new toys from
everyone. I have a moose that I play with every single
day. It has a song in its tummy called ???Grandma Got Run
Over by a Reindeer.??? I bite its foot, and the tummy starts
singing and Mommy sings too.
Anyway, I was dreaming about last
Christmas when we had my Grandpa B., my Grandma Iva and
Grandpa Bob staying at our house. Mommy and Daddy called it
a generic (for Pete??™s sake ??“ ???geriatric???) Christmas. It was
really crazy and I was confused a lot of the time. Grandpa
B. and Grandma Iva would sit at the kitchen table for
hours. They pushed these stupid looking things around that
made lots of noise, and they had dots on them. Then it
would be quiet for a while before someone yelled ???ten,??? or
???twenty,??? or something about a bone yard. Weird ??“ Mommy
always told me bones didn??™t belong in the yard. Every time
Grandpa B. would yell out a number, Grandma Iva would yell
back ???I hate you??? and then they would both just laugh and
laugh. Go figure??¦??¦??¦??¦..
Talking about that yelling reminded me
that all three of my Grandparents yelled a lot. They also
said ???huh??? a lot, and then they would say the same thing
over, and over again. Before I knew it Mommy and Daddy were
yelling at them too. It really was loud around here and I
was scared everyone was mad. I guess I was wrong because
they laughed and hugged a lot. I wonder why Mommy and Daddy
didn??™t ever say ???huh??? when everyone else did. I guess I??™m
not the only one that doesn??™t know EVERY word. Or, maybe
you have to get gray hair before you get to say ???huh.???
Bobby (that??™s what Mommy calls Grandpa
Bob) brought his computer with him for Mommy to give him
email lessons. It was his first computer and I was really
worried when I saw it. That thing was flat as a fritter so
I figured lessons wouldn??™t help at all. How the heck could
a computer even work that had been run over by a truck?
Well, it did work just fine, until the day Bobby broke it!
We got up one morning and he was just sitting in his chair
staring at a blank screen and he was in a twit. Mommy
worked on it all morning and finally had to call a computer
fixer guy. Like I said, it was wild and crazy around here -
and it was fun to dream about it all over again. I wonder
how long it is until next Christmas?
Oh yeah, something weird happened last
night. It was raining really loud and I heard Mommy say,
???it was raining cats and dogs.??? I could hardly wait for
that rain to stop, so I could go out and see my new ???wet???
friends. Finally it was over after what seemed like
forever. I was so excited that I tore out the door so fast
my eyebrows were flying straight up. What a bummer, there
weren??™t any wet, or dry, cats and dogs out there. Mom is so
weird and I don??™t know why she makes up pies (well excuse me
??“ she says ???lies???) like that. If you ask me, people should
not tell ???lies??? to their dogs??¦??¦??¦??¦??¦..
Mommy says it??™s time to stop yammering
because she has to get back to work in the kitchen. Every
time she starts in again Daddy tells her she is
???obsessing.??? That sure did make me feel better because
that??™s what everyone says about me and my sump hole!
Anyway, I??™m still gonna be worried until she gets those
walls fixed because my kitchen has gone to pot, and I??™m not
gonna eat in that mess much longer. I??™ll just push my bowl
into the dining room and eat by myself. Guilt trips always
work around here??¦??¦??¦??¦..
(c) 2004 Kathleene S. Baker
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To read archived stories, click on this link:
http://archives.zinester.com/9516/2004
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Blessings to you today
Bob Johnston
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