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All through my
formative years I had been sheltered. I did not see many
people as I was cooped up in the house with a grandmother
that never left the house. Visitors did come by but they
were mostly of her age. I was in the presence of very few
youngsters and therefore did not learn how to socialize with
children of my own age group. The furthest away from home I
got was to play downstairs it the back yard with my cousin
and the next door neighbour??™s kids; otherwise I was confined
to the back balcony to play alone with my dogs.
Going to school for the first time was a very traumatic
experience for me. I did not know how to play with children.
Johnnie and Jackie, the twins from next door, went to a
different school. On the other hand, Renee, my only other
friend at the time, went to my school but she was in a
different class. That did not help me, a girl that did not
know how to befriend anyone and was systematically alienated
from her peers.
In grade three I had managed to make a friend, Brenda, but
Renee had transferred out of the school by then. Thinking
that I could have two friends at the same time, I made the
mistake of introducing Brenda and Renee only to find out
that the two of them preferred each other's company to the
exclusion of mine.
Finally in grade four my longing for a true friend came to
an end and I had met Maxine. She was the best friend that I
ever had. We did however have our differences. Though she
was quiet she did not mind the group settings, I was totally
uncomfortable in a group. I always shunned by the other
children and never really invited to participate in them. I
preferred a one-to-one or a very small group of three.
A major difference between us was that she was self
confident while I was not. Even at 13 years old, and
considering High School for the first time she was happy and
ready to go and I was scared to death. I was not emotionally
prepared. All I could see was a much bigger school and more
students to hate or laugh at me. Again going to high school
for the first time was a major traumatic experience for me.
I was so afraid of going to high school that I obsessed
about getting lost. Some of you might think that a 13 year
old girl should be able to travel to school on her so what
is the big deal? Well the big deal was that I had led a
sheltered life. I was 13 years old and knew a radius of
about 3 city blocks from my home. I had never taken a bus on
my own. If I traveled in a bus it was because of a school
excursion and I was chaperoned. My own family never
travelled anywhere (remember my grandmother never left the
house). Taking a bus for the first time was a major trauma
in my life. Fortunately I had Maxine and we took some dry
runs throughout the summer to the high school so that I
could get the hang of it and feel at ease.
I will never forget that first week of school. Everything
was just so overwhelming for me. I just wanted to cry.
Maxine on the other hand was enjoying every minute of it.
She was just sucking up all the new sites and sounds while
bubbling over with excitement. I followed her everywhere
that she went.
But Maxine put a damper on my plans that first week. She had
a doctor??™s appointment and would not be able to travel to
school with me that Friday morning. I would have to make the
trip to school by myself and then she would be able to make
the trip back home with me.
I tried to convince myself that I was prepared. I had
practiced the route long enough so nothing should go wrong
right? Wrong! It was Friday the 13th and although I would
not really call myself superstitious I was apparently
destined to mess up my trip to school.
I took the bus going in the wrong direction and by the time
I had figured it out I was already late for school! I was
terrified. What was I going to do? I felt sick to my
stomach. I knew I couldn??™t go back home because my
grandmother would be very upset with me. Yet when I got to
school what would happen? What would they do to me? I
conjured up all kinds of horrible scenarios in my head from
being given ??? the strap??? to permanent expulsion from school
--- or worst! Since it was my first year at high school
(grade 8) I had no clue what the penalties for breaking the
rules were.
What did happen was that I walked into the classroom and the
teacher took one look at me and asked the whole class to
stand up. Once that was accomplished he said to me ??? well
miss now that you are here may we commence our lessons or
did you have another plan in mind???? I nodded yes and
sheepishly cowered over to my seat. I wanted to die, this
was worst than expulsion! After that I made sure that I was
never late for class again and yes I finally got that bus
route right!
Carol Roach
winterose@videotron.ca
If you enjoyed this story and would
like to read more of my work please contact me at my email
address:
winterose@videotron.ca or you can join my newsletter
storytime_tapestry-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Stay tuned for my book: Picking Up The Pieces: A Woman??™s
Journey which will be out in bookstores, at
www.publishamerica.com and
www.amazon.com within the next month or two.? I like to
thank all of you who have supported me all these years and
encouraged me to write the book.? I will be eternally
grateful.
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May you be blessed today.
Bob Johnston
Editor / Publisher
To read archived stories, click on this link:?
http://archives.zinester.com/9516/2004?
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