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Since the
fourth grade, Maxine had been my best friend and my only
real friend. Though we had shared so many things in common,
she was also very different from me in many ways. She was so
self confident and eager to take on new challenges. I was
her shadow and I was too insecure to do anything on my own.
I only wished that I could be like her and be willing to
take on new experiences and enjoy them for what they were
worth. But because of my sheltered upbringing I clung to
what I knew and was afraid of the unknown. I also clung to
Maxine and did everything that she did without much thought.
Later when it came time to choose our courses for high
school, although I had some ideas of my own as to what I
wanted to do I went with Maxine??™s choices because I wanted
to be in every class she had. It wasn??™t as if Maxine did not
encouragement me to go with my own choices it was that I
just could not bear to be in a classroom without her.
One of her course choices was technical drawing. I had no
clue what that was and instinctually knew that I was not
able to do it. But I chose it because Maxine did and I would
later pay the price for that choice as well.
If I had to sum up the very worst experience of my first
high school year (grade 8) it would have to be that
technical drawing class. Mr. Kaufman was a very stern
teacher and yelled or barked at the students rather than
talked to them. To top it all off, it was a class primarily
consisting of boys. There were only four girls in the whole
class. Though he was a bit nicer to the girls he was not
above yelling at them if he wanted to. Whenever somebody did
something wrong he would parade their work around the
classroom and totally ridicule the student. The more he
yelled and ridiculed me the more nervous I became and the
more mistakes I made.
Maxine on the other hand was one of his favourite students,
she did beautiful work and he appreciated her for it.
Although she tried to help me in any way that she could she
really couldn??™t understand why this course was so hard for
me. Mr. Kaufman on the other hand would look at me with
disgust and ask if I was paying attention to his
instructions or just day dreaming. Many times he threatened
to make stay outside his door for the entire period because
obviously I was not learning anything in his classroom.
I was terrified of him and terrified of technical drawing. I
just could not do it. I tried to transfer out of the
classroom but was refused because there were no other
classes available that I could take. I was forced to be
miserable and be in his classroom and I began hating to go
to school because of it.
Since I couldn??™t do anything about my situation I turned to
the Lord. I prayed that by some miracle I could suddenly
understand technical drawing. But I I also prayed everyday
that Mr. Kaufman would just leave me alone and better still
forget that I even existed.
Finally, after the mid-term exam which I failed of course,
Mr. Kaufman did ease up on me. He announced in front of the
entire class one day that he used to think that I was just
not following instructions but now he has come to understand
that I really could not do the work. After that he left me
alone and let me do just about whatever I wanted. Of course
I failed the course but I didn??™t care. The Lord had answered
my prayer. Mr. Kaufman left me alone. Just as I had wanted
he had forgotten about me, even though it meant giving up on
me.
By the next school year I had become wiser. I no longer
chose courses based on Maxine??™s preferences I chose courses
based on my own.
Carol Roach
winterose@videotron.ca
If you enjoyed this story and would
like to read more of my work please contact me at my email
address:
winterose@videotron.ca or you can join my newsletter
storytime_tapestry-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Stay tuned for my book: Picking Up The Pieces: A Woman??™s
Journey which will be out in bookstores, at
www.publishamerica.com and
www.amazon.com within the next month or two. I like to
thank all of you who have supported me all these years and
encouraged me to write the book. I will be eternally
grateful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May you be blessed today.
Bob Johnston
Editor / Publisher
To read archived stories, click on this link:
http://archives.zinester.com/9516/2004
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