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I've heard that now for over 20 years and I never grow tired
of the question. Those words have been spoken through all
the many stages of what makes me who I am today. All the
moments that are the ingredients of which I am made.
More than two decades ago she came to work in the task area
where I worked. She had been given the position I had been
vying for. I neatly despised her. It didn't seem at all
fair. I was not kind to her. I labored to make her feel
uncomfortable and unwanted. I caused her to cry. But because
of her indomitable spirit she kept pressing onward with her
positive attitude, generous smile, and infectious
friendliness.
I was not easily won over, however. I had to work overtime
to counter her goodness. But she eroded my shell of
meanness--ate away at my efforts to make wretched the "8 to
5" hour time slot she shared with me.
Problem was... I was miserable, too. And besides, deep down
I had to admit there wasn't much about her to not like. In
fact, nothing. She was Pollyanna and I was "The Bad Seed"
(Rhoda Penmark, an evil little girl played by Patsy
McCormack in the 1956 movie).
At some point I crossed an invisible line. The "dare ya"
mark in the dirt that separated foe from friend. I had drawn
the line and she had pulled me over and beyond it. To what
end I can't imagine. Why me?
Admittedly I wasn't as bad as all that. least ways, not as
bad as Rhoda Penmark. But shame and guilt made me feel
loathsome. Perhaps she saw through my bristly facade. I
truly hope at the time there was some essence of good that
glinted from my soul's innards. I'm guessing there was and
she coaxed that spider silk thread out and with her charm
began to weave the web of our friendship.
Understandably, a friendship is a two-way mechanism. A
relationship functions best when both individuals proffer
the finest qualities from their heart and soul. I had a lot
of catching up to do and consistent with my nature I
extended myself wholeheartedly, for
her friendship was a shining gem that sparkled brightly
before my eyes. What she offered was beyond description or
value. The bond that two beings can cement which lasts a
lifetime... Friendship!
"Hey, watchya doin'?" has preceded 20 years of events. Two
decades of the bitter, joyous, disheartening, thrilling,
ecstatic, crushing, and wondrous happenings that living life
brings. We have both uttered the words before sharing what
was on our minds and in our
hearts.
They were the words I stammered the night I drove over to
her house and apologized for how I had treated her when we
first met. Admitting I had been cruel.
I should have gone to her earlier in our relationship and
apologized. She never spoke of my treatment of her in those
first days. Never told me that my actions had hurt her. But
when I asked her to forgive me she began to cry and all the
pain I had been responsible
for was etched on her face. She merely nodded. Then smiled
at me. We hugged and cried together.
I heard those words from her during the rough days when her
marriage was falling apart and she needed to talk or come
over to my house. When there was a suicide in the family she
spoke that phrase through the tear-choked pain of loss.
Though we no longer work in the same task area we still work
for the same organization. No matter where the job
assignment, stress is part and parcel of the job. And many
times have we phoned the other with the question: "Hey,
watchya doin'?" We have seen heartbreaking human suffering,
abuse, and loss. As much as one might try to "leave it all
at the office" we cannot always shove it in the desk drawer,
turn off the lights and head home with a peaceful spirit. It
is at such times we have sought solace in each other.
"Hey, watchya doin'?" she said. "Why don't you come on over
tonight for dinner? We need to talk." I did, and she
introduced me to her fianc?©, a wonderful man who
would give her all that she deserved. The joy of a good
marriage. The love of a devoted and committed spouse. She
was long overdue!
She has asked me that question when her voice bubbled over
with happiness because she wanted to tell me her daughter
was engaged. And again, twice, each time she learned her
daughter was pregnant.
"Hey, watchya doin'?" That evening we got together and
shared our fears... We were no longer young women and the
fast rushing reality of years gone by seemed to hit us at
roughly the same time. "My folks are getting older. Oh,
Kathy! I am so afraid of losing them." Tears burned hot in
my eyes. "Me, too." My father had died years earlier but my
mother and step father were still alive and very much a part
of my life.
"Hey, watchya doin'?" I asked one late afternoon. "I just
got in from work. Why?" she replied. Emotion choked me as I
tried to squeeze the words past my constricted throat. "I
have cancer..."
On another afternoon, when I woke up from surgery, I saw her
face. By her side was her youngest daughter. They both
smiled tremulously. Their eyes shimmering wet. Their
expressions full of love and hope. They had a gift and a
card for me, but to this day I cannot tell you what the gift
was. All I saw was the glow of a loving friendship
reflecting back to me the years we had shared our secrets
and hopes, our fears and triumphs. "Love you!" She said. "I
love you, too." I garbled roughly through my tears. "Thank
you for being my friend."
Nearly two years have passed since that afternoon. We still
greet each other with that phrase. And every now and then we
will say..
"Love you! Thank you for being my friend."
And when I say those words I count myself blessed to have
your friendship, Paula. "I love you. Thank you..."
Copyright 2003 by Kathy Anne Harris
About me:
Four of my books have been published. They are available at
Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, Borders.com, Xlibris.com,
and other online dealers. You can also order them from your
local bookstore. I also write poetry. I am not restricted to
a particular
genre when writing which opens up a world of creative
subjects for me to write about. I enjoy the freedom this
gives me as I has a very vivid imagination and love to
observe the world around me. I am a social worker by day, a
writer by life. I live in California's San Joaquin Valley.
My works have been featured in: StoryTime Tapestry,
Starfish, Driftwood, Insight of the Day, Cat Tails,
Petwarmers, Heartwarmers, and other online and in-print
publications.
I have
written under different sobriquets, or pen names: Stehvin
Walker, Mist Drifter, Shadowmind, Fevre Dreamer, and Kathan.
Kath
"God fashioned the dog from sun drops."
- KAH
"Reading is the best form of transportation."
- KAH
"Ageless...
Like the scent of rain
Like the drift of leaves on the wind
...Love is"
- KAH
My website:
http://spirit-soul.com/ToShareWithYou.html
I am the author of four books. They are available at
Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, Borders.com, Xlibris.com,
and other online dealers. Or, you may order them from your
local bookstore. I also write poetry. I am a social worker
by day, a writer by life. I live in California's San Joaquin
Valley. My works have been featured in: 2TheHeart, StoryTime
Tapestry, Starfish, Driftwood, Cat Tails, Petwarmers,
Heartwarmers, Insight of the Day*, and Moments of
Reflections. I am also a weekly columnist for the
publication "Frank Talk" which is distributed in three
counties in Michigan, USA.
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To read archived stories, click on this link:
Archived
Starfish Stories
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Blessings to you today
Bob Johnston
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