Loren writes;

Brinnngg brinnngg, ???hello??? says Nell as she picks up the phone.

???Hi Nell, this is Loren.  Want some company for a couple of days????

???Loren we would love to have you and Johnnie come see us.???

???Johnnie won??™t be with me.  She had to go to Denver and take care of her cousin. He had open heart surgery.   So I??™ll be by myself.???

???So when can we expect you????

???How about day after tomorrow????

???Great, we??™ll be looking for you.  Bye.???

Nell writes;

 "Hey, Lou, guess who that was on the phone," says Nell.

"How should I know? Who the heck was it?"

"Remember Loren and Johnnie we visited on our vacation?" replies Nell.

"Yeah what about 'em?" says Lou.

???Well, you are never going to believe this, but Loren is coming to visit us. I better get busy and clean up that "little house". No one has stayed in it all winter. I bet the dust is half inch thick and the lady bugs about as thick." says Nell excitedly.

"Boy, he sure gives a person a big notice. I know they said they would come, but I never believed it was a certainty."

???Well, don't get all excited now and get your blood pressure up." Lou exclaims dryly. "he probably won't care about a little dust. I??™m sure they have dust and lady bugs too in Texas." he said jokingly. "I??™ll have to turn the water heater on and turn on the water over there, too."

???Well, he won't be here for a couple of days." Nell said.

"So, we have a little time.???

Next morning Nell gets up bright and early and goes over and begins to clean the "little house". Lou gets the water heater on and turns on the water so Loren can take a shower as soon as he gets here.

"It??™ll be kinda nice to see old Loren again." Nell says thoughtfully. "I wonder what kind of tall tales he is going to have to tell us this time."

Loren writes: 

Brinnngg brinnngg ???Hello.???

???Hi Lou this is Loren.  I??™m in Stoutsville, now how do I find your house???™

Nell writes; 

Lou, a little annoyed because he was eating breakfast, says, "just come down highway 24 from Stoutsville till you come to highway "U". Turn left onto highway "U" and go about nine miles and you will see our house on the left. You can't miss it. It's the only house on that side of the road, it is a two story farm house with red shutters," explains Lou.

"The next house you come to is the windmill resort, if you see that, you have gone past our house. There is a brown house on the other side of the road that sits on the hill.???

Lou hangs up and says gruffly. ???He sure picks a fine time to call."

"Oh, he didn't know you would be eating breakfast," says Nell. "Don??™t be so grumpy."

Knock,  knock. "There??™s Loren, go to the door, honey," says Nell, "and let him in."

???Well, hello there, you old swamp rat," says Lou.

"How the heck ya doin??™ Loren?  Good to see ya again."

Nell thinks, "You weren't in such a good mood a little while ago, when he called from Stoutsville."

"Hi, Loren," she says out loud. "how ya doin??™? Ain't seen you in a coon's age." she's taking on the Texas drawl she got from Loren. 

As soon as they have dispensed with the amenities, and Loren has had time to catch his breath, Nell says, "you want to take your things over to the "little house", Loren and we'll get you settled in."

"OK," says Loren. "I??™d kinda like to get a shower and get cleaned up, if you don't mind. It's been a long trip from Texas."

So, Nell shows him the way to the "little house" and Lou carries his luggage.

Loren writes: 

"Say, this is nice.  It must be great to have a guest house.  That way you can still have your privacy and give your guest some elbow room."

???Say Lou when y??™all were down at Caddo Lake with us you told me to come up here to Missouri and you would show me how you fished for crappie.  Does that offer still hold?  My fishing gear is like my spare tire, my pickup and camper never goes anywhere without it.???

???Sure does and I??™ll show you how I cook them.  That is if we can catch some.  Come on Nell let??™s go back over to the house and let Loren freshen up.???

???Loren you come back to our house when you get ready.??? Nell said and they left.

Nell writes;

Nell and Lou walked across the yard from the "little house" to their house.

Lou said, ???Well, I guess we go crappie fishing tomorrow. Do you want to go or not?"

"No, I think I will stay here and let you and Loren get better acquainted," Nell said. "I would like to go, maybe next time".

Knock, knock.  "Hey, you guys in there?"  asked Loren.  "I didn't see anyone, so, I thought you might have gone off and left me."

"No, we ain't gone nowhere. Come on in, Loren." Lou said. "We were just talking about where would be the best place to take you fishing for crappie."

???Well, is there certain places you have to go to get them?" Loren asked.  "ain't they just in the lake?"

"Oh, no," Lou laughed. "We call them 'the illusive crappie, cause you have to find them.  You might go today and they would be in one spot and tomorrow, go back to that same spot and they wouldn't be there."

???Well I??™ll say," said Loren quizzically. "I shore never heard of that before."

"Oh there is a lot you probably ain't heard of," Lou laughed again. "i got all sorts of tricks up my sleeve to show you."

???Well, let's get started if we want to get some fishin' in before it gets too dark." said Lou. "Nell ain't goin??™, she's gonna stay here and get us something to eat when we come back half starved."

Lou got into the truck and went back to the barn to hitch up the boat.

"Boy, you shore do have a nice place here, Lou." Loren said, as they came back from the barn.

"We??™ll see ya later, mom." Lou said, "You fix us up something real good for supper. Maybe bake Loren one of your fantastic blackberry pies, hmm?"

"OK, but don't be too late, you know how worried I get when you're out on that lake too late."

"We won't be too late, just till we get a mess of crappie." said lou.

They came back in about 6:00, just before the sun went down.

Loren writes;

???Boy that was some fishing trip Nell.  You should have been with us.  Lou found the crappie right off and did we slay them.  I lost count of how many we caught but I knew it was going to be more then I wanted to clean.???

Lou told Loren to come on and we??™ll put the boat back in the barn then we can clean the fish out there. 

Nell came out and looked at the fish and whistled.  ???Boy you sure did catch a bunch of them,??? she said.

Lou backed the boat into the barn and unhitched from his truck. Then he and Loren got out their fillet knifes and cleaned the crappie.  After that Loren told Lou he was going to run over and step through a shower and change clothes.  ???Don??™t be long, Nell will have dinner on the table any time now.??? Lou admonished him.

Loren went to the ???little house??? and took a quick shower and changed clothes.  Then he went back over to Lou??™s house and knocked on the door.

Nell answered the door and told Loren to come in.  She stopped and looked him over.  He had on a pair of blue jeans with a crease in the legs so sharp it looked like a knife edge.  His belt had a big brass buckle, and on it were the words ???worlds??™ best fisherman.???  He had on western boots with inch and a half high heels.  On top of all this he had on a bright red golf shirt.

Nell stepped back and with wide eyes took all this in.  Then she said, ???Loren did you steal that red shirt from tiger woods????  Loren just grinned.

Nell writes;

"Hey, come on in and sit yourself down, Loren." Nell invited. "Do you like lasagna?" I sure hope so cause I made a big pan of it, with a salad and blackberry pie for dessert."

Lou came in and sat down at the table and Loren followed.

"I??™m partial to fried chicken, but yeah, I can eat lasagna once in awhile, if it is served with a good salad" Loren replied.

Lou said, "I??™m with you Loren. Lasagna is not one of my favorite Italian dishes. But it's ok once in awhile."  He gave Nell a sly look and continued, "but her blackberry pie will make up for it. She's well-known for her pies, blackberry, peach, apple and cherry, even lemon meringue sometimes."

Lou almost smacked his lips in anticipation of that blackberry pie. "but my favorite is blackberry and cherry," he said with increased enthusiasm.

They finished dinner and Lou and Loren started outside to take in the rest of the farm. Lou wanted to show Loren his workshop.

"Boy! I am sure full. Guess I need a walk to walk some of this food off," Loren said. "it sure was delicious though, Nell. That's the best blackberry pie I have had since my mother used to bake them. But don't tell Johnnie I said that."

Lou took Loren out to his workshop and showed him his newest project; an armoire he's building for their granddaughter Sarah. 

They returned a short time later and Loren said, "that sure is a fine workshop, Lou. And that armoire is going to be beautiful," Loren was very complimentary to Lou for his workmanship.

"Yeah, you see all this furniture in here?" asked Nell. "Lou practically built all of it, even the grandfather clocks." said Nell.  

"Except the one in the living room, is for our youngest daughter, if she ever gets the money to pay for the clockworks," Lou chimed in. "I told her I would build it but she has to pay for the clockworks."

???Well, you shore do a fine job of building furniture, Lou," said Loren.

Lou asked Loren, "What??™s your hobby, besides fishing, Loren?"

"Oh, hasn't Nell told you?" Loren replied. "i love to write stories and poems and submit them to different web sites on the internet."

"Yeah, I believe she did mention it," said Lou. "She also said something about something else you like to do." Lou said. "Wasn??™t there something else you like to do, too?"

Loren writes;

???Johnnie and I both belong to a gun club and we both shoot in their club matches.  Johnnie has won trophies in sheet and rifle shooting.  I have won trophies in skeet, rifle and pistol shooting.  In fact I won the yearly trophy in bench rest rifle shooting three years in a roll.???

???Is that what you had in mind or was it the hunting I do.  I??™m on a deer lease with seven other guys close to llano, Texas.  We have had that same lease for over 25 years.  It has a lot of deer, turkeys and wild hogs on it.  It also has two good fishing tanks on it.  We have bass, crappie and catfish in the tanks. 

???When we??™re at the deer lease I do a lot of the cooking, especially the fish frying.  Bob cooks the steaks, Tommy makes the salads and the others each have their own specialties.???

???Lou, do you hunt deer???? Loren asked.

Nell writes;

"I go just to be with my two sons and three grandsons," Lou replies. "My greatest joy comes from duck hunting and goose hunting."

"Goose and duck hunting, huh" Loren says, "No I never went goose or duck hunting. Sounds like it might be fun."

"Hey, if you are a skeet, rifle and pistol marksman, you should be real good at shooting ducks and geese on the fly, "

Lou remarks. "Yeah, I bet you would love to shoot ducks and geese. Nell took a course learning to shoot a semi-automatic pistol a few years ago."

???Well we ought to have a shoot out, Nell," Loren teases.

"No," says Nell, "I have only practiced once since I took the course. I probably couldn't hit the broad side of a red barn now."

"Oh, I bet you are just being modest", says Loren. "Come on, get out your pistol and let's see how good you are."

"Not hardly" Nell replies "I wouldn't even attempt to outshoot you. You have to be pretty good to win trophies."

???Well, ok, I won't try to force you. But it sure would be fun." Loren grins.

"How about you, Lou" Loren continues, "You want to give it a go, with a little contest?"

"No," Lou says emphatically, "I don't want to show you up and make you feel bad."

Loren writes:

???Well I appreciate that.  It hurts my feelings when I get beat.  Say when are we going to eat some of those crappie???? Loren wants to know.

???If we can talk Lou into cooking them, we??™ll have crappie for dinner tomorrow night.??? Nell answers.

Loren says, ???Sounds good to me.  Well folks it??™s my bed time.  If you don??™t mind I??™ll mosey on back over to the little house and go to bed.???

At 2:37 am Lou and Nell were awakened by two reports of gun fire.  ???bang bang.??? 

Nell said, ???what the ??¦ ???,

Lou said, ???that was someone shooting a gun.???

 ???Lou, go see what??™s going on.??? 

???I??™m going just as soon as I can get my pants and my house slippers on.???

When Lou walked outside he saw Loren down by the barn.  Loren was holding a .22 caliber pistol in his hand.  Loren was bending over looking at something on the ground.  Nell was standing in the door trying to see what was going on.  Lou walked down to where Loren was standing and asked Loren if that was him doing the shooting?

???Yep, sure was.  Look here.??? Loren said as he pointed to two big rattle snakes lying there on the ground.  They each had been shot in the head and were dead.

Nell hollered, ???Lou what is it?  Why was Loren shooting????  

Lou answered, ???Nell you should come see this.???

Well after all the excitement died down everyone went back to bed.  But before they parted Loren asked Nell if he could that them out to breakfast in the morning.  Nell told him that would be nice and they would see him about 8:00 o??™clock in the morning.

Nell writes;

Loren didn't know it but Lou is awake every morning about 4:30  and at 5:00 am sharp, there was a knock on the door.

Lou went to the door and there stood Loren. "Hey, Lou, is something wrong, you or Nell sick or something?"

He asked as he entered the front door. "I saw a light on over here and thought there must be something wrong, for you to be up this early."

"No, no," Lou chuckled, "I forgot to tell you, I am usually awake and drinking a cup of coffee at or about 4:30 or 5:00.  Come on in and I??™ll get you a cup of coffee, that is if you are wide awake enough to drink it."

"Oh no," said Loren. "I don't drink coffee. It will turn your insides brown."

???Well, have a seat anyway, unless you want to go back to the little house and go back to bed," said Lou. "Nell will be down as soon as she checks her email. Can I get you something else?"

"No, no, I??™ll just mosey on back over there and get a shower and get dressed" said Loren. "I don't want to interrupt your morning coffee."

"Hey, that's quite alright," Lou went on. "You aren't interrupting anything. Besides I wanted to ask you, how in the world did you see those two rattlesnakes all the way from the little house out to the barn? You must have awful good eyes, or a sixth sense or something?"

Loren writes:

???After all that lasagna I was having trouble sleeping, so I took a walk down by the barn.  When I??™m out at night, I usually slip my .22 pistol in my belt.  When I started back to the little house, I almost stepped on one of those snakes.  When he coiled up and started rattling, the second one did the same thing.  After that I guess it was just instinct reaction.  I drew and fired twice before I even thought about it.???

???Say if you want to save the skins off those snakes I??™d be happy to skin them for you.  I do it all the time a home.  Or if you just want the rattles off the end of their tails, I??™ll cut them off for you.  You can tell me while we??™re at breakfast what you want and when we get back I??™ll take care of it.???

???I??™ll go back over and take my shower and change clothes and come back over.???

Nell writes;

When Loren came back from taking his shower and changing clothes, Nell and Lou were all ready to go. So, they went to the junction for breakfast.

When they were seated in the restaurant, Lou had a quizzical look on his face and Loren said, "what's that look about, Lou?"

 "It??™s just kinda strange, about those rattlers, cause around here rattlers don't usually come out at night," Lou said. "They??™re usually dormant at night."

???Well, they must have been disturbed by something," Loren quipped. "they sure disturbed me, too. So I just undisturbed them, permanently."

They had a good breakfast and went back to the house.

"You know, Loren, I don't think I want those rattler skins," Nell said. "me and rattlesnakes don't have a thing in common, any kind of snake I should say."

"OK., Nell," Loren replied, "If you don't mind, I will take them then. I'd like to make me a belt out of them."

"You??™re mighty welcome to them," Nell said.

"Boy, I can't wait till supper tonight," said Loren, "i can already taste those crappie, umm! Umm!"

After sitting around and letting their food digest awhile, Loren asked if Lou would take him sightseeing.

"Sure," Lou said. "we'll be back later, mom."

So, Lou and Loren took off on the four wheelers and Lou took Loren for a ride around the farm.

Loren writes:

As they came to a little creek bed on the back side or the farm, Lou stopped and turned his four wheeler off.  When Loren pulled up beside him he turned off his machine.  They both dismounted and walked along the creek.  Loren stopped and bent over looking at some tracks in the mud beside the creek.

???What have you found???? Lou asked?

???Looks like wolf tracks to me??? Loren answered.  ???What do you make of them lou????

???I don??™t know, I??™ve never seen a wolf track.  We have some coyotes around.  Could that be a coyote track????

Loren shook his head no.  ???It??™s to big for a coyote, it has to be a wolf.???

They got back on the four wheelers and started on.  It wasn??™t long before they were back at the house.  Lou told Loren to come on in and they went out to the kitchen.  Nell was just setting things out on the table to have sandwiches for lunch.

???I heard you guys coming and I thought you would be ready for lunch after your ride.  Loren what would you like to drink? 

???Water is just fine with me, Nell.  Guess what kind of track we found over by the creek.???

???Not much telling around here.  We got all kinds of animals and varmints on this place.  What kind were they????

???Wolf???

Nell writes;

"We have some big dogs around here." she chuckled, "do you suppose it is just a big dog track?"

"Could be, I guess," Loren answered. "but it sure looked like a wolf's track to me."

"How can you distinguish between a wolf and a dog track?" Nell asked.

Loren writes:

???This track was over 4 inches long and dogs don??™t have feet that big.??? Loren answered.  ???Lou will you pass the mustard?  I like mustard on my sandwiches. 

Lou hands Loren the mustard and says, ???What do you suppose that wolf was doing on our farm????

???Oh he was probably just passing through.  You don??™t have any livestock and you say you have never heard him howl.???

Nell took another bit of her sandwich before she said, ???Well I hope he was passing through because I don??™t want any wolfs around here.???

When they finished lunch Lou and Nell walked down to the barn to watch Loren skin the two rattle snakes.  He cut the heads off and split the skins down the belly from one end to the other.  The he pulled the skins right off the meat.  He left the rattles on the skins.

???Say, that??™s pretty neat.  You make it look easy.??? Lou said.

???It is easy Lou. Are you sure you want take one of the skins and have you a belt made out of it?  One is all I need.???

???Well now I believe I ??? ???no you wont Lou berry.??? Nell cut in.  ???Well now mom it would be something to show off to the other fellows.???  ???No, and that??™s final!???

Lou and Nell turned and walked back to their house.  Loren could hear them still arguing until they went into the back door.  Loren went back to the little house and decided he would take a nap until dinner time.  Maybe Nell would be over her mad by that time.

At 5:00 o??™clock he knocked on the back door.

Nell writes;

"I tell you, Loren," said Nell emphatically, "you sure know how to find the weirdest animals around here. Come on in and sit yourself down."

"seems like they find me," Loren said defensively. "I don't go looking for them. It just happens."

???Well, it sure has been one heck of a trip, having you here, Loren." Nell said. "i haven't had so much excitement in a coon's age."

Lou interrupted them, "you two ready to eat some crappie, French fries and slaw?"

"Bring it on, Lou," Loren said. "I??™m starved. Boy! That fish sure smells good. What kind of seasoning did you say you used?"

"It??™s called 'Andy??™s fish coating', said Lou. "we really like it. You can get it in cajun, too."

"I??™m gonna have to try and find some of that down in Texas," Loren quipped.

"say, Lou, do you think I could take a little of yours or maybe we could go shopping and I could buy some to take back to Texas?"

"Aw, sure, you can take some of mine," Lou agreed. "heck I can get some more. It's not all that expensive."

???Well, I sure do thank you, Lou," Loren said gratefully. "I??™ll be glad to pay you for it."

"No, that ain't necessary," said Lou, "you can just buy Johnnie a bouquet of flowers with that money."

"Hon., we should take Loren to the museum up the road," Nell said excitedly. "i bet he would enjoy seeing mark twain's birthplace and the museum where all the artifacts are, of his childhood and how he came to write the tom sawyer huckleberry finn books."

"How about it, Loren," asked Lou, "would you like to go see the mark twain museum and we could even take you to the cemetery where his ancestors and relatives are buried."

"Yeah, it's just about three and a half miles up the road from here," said Nell.

"I guess we could do that tomorrow" said Loren yawning. "I??™m pretty tired now, though. I think I??™ll turn in early and we can get a fresh start early in the morning."

"That sounds like a plan," Lou said. "let's make it around 8:00 again, although we'll be up earlier than that. Nell what time do you think you can have breakfast ready?"

"Whatever time you want it ready, dear," Nell said amicably.

"OK. 8:00 it is, then," Loren said. "I??™ll just say goodnight then."

Loren writes:

 Knock knock.  ???come on in Loren, breakfast is ready.  I hope you like hot cakes, because that??™s what I made.??? Nell said as she carried a big platter of hot cakes over to the table.

As Loren sat down at the table with Lou he said, ???Well I never could eat over 7 or 8 of them at a time, but if that??™s all you have I guess I can get by.???  Nell grinned and sat down at the table with Lou and Nell.

After breakfast they with out and got in Nell??™s car.  ???if it??™s all right with you folks, i??™d just as soon skip the cemetery and go on to the museum.???

???What??™s the matter Loren, don??™t you like dead people????  Nell teased.  ???Well I like people I can talk to??? answered Loren.  Lou jumped in with, ???but Loren you can talk to all those people in the cemetery.  They just can??™t talk back to you.???  Loren just grinned.

???you know Nell I wrote a story and said that if mark twain had been born on Caddo lake instead of in Hannibal, Missouri he would have written the story of the adventures of Loren and don instead of tom sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.  When I get home I??™ll have to send you that story.???

Nell pulled up in front of the museum and parked.

Nell writes;

When they came out of the museum, Loren said, "mark twain museum, hmm! I thought mark twain was born in Hannibal, Missouri."

Nell got in the car and Lou drove and she said, "no, mark twain was born right here in Florida, Missouri. We can take you over here a little ways and show you his birthplace. It's a log house, so small you could set it down in the middle of our house."

???Well, where did they get the 'Hannibal, mark twain's home town' bit?" said Loren?

"I guess Florida just dried up as a town and Hannibal took the credit for mark twain's being born there" replied Nell. "but in all fairness, mark twain did grow up in Hannibal. We should take Loren over there, Lou, and let him see for himself, where mark twain wrote about the Mississippi river and working on the tugboat or paddle wheel."

???Well, it's up to Loren. If he wants to go we will take him over there" said lou. "it's only about forty-five miles from here."

Loren writes:

???Now I??™d like to see that too.  I??™ll buy lunch today so be looking for a place to eat lunch.???

???I know a nice little place on the out skirts of Hannibal where we can eat.??? And Nell told Lou where to go.  As they ate lunch Nell told Loren how mark twain had first worked on a tugboat and then a paddle wheeler running up and down the Mississippi river and finally getting his pilot license.

Loren wanted to know when Samuel Clemens first started calling himself mark twain.  ???you do know what mark twain means don??™t you Nell?  By the way when did he move to Connecticut????

Nell writes;

"No, I don't know exactly what it means," Nell answered. "but I know it has something to do with measuring the depth of the water."

"yeah, you're right, Nell," Loren said. "When did Samuel Clemens move to Connecticut?"

"If haven't the foggiest" replied Nell. "But I bet you know, don't you?"

Loren changes the subject. ???Well, folks, I sure have enjoyed my visit here." he said. "but I think it's time I went home, so I will be leaving tomorrow."

"Oh, come on Loren," pleaded Nell, "stay a couple of days longer. We still haven't gotten to show you around Hannibal."

"No, I think I better be going home" said Loren. "Johnnie will be home and wonderin' where I have gone off to."

Loren knocks on the door and when Nell answers it, he says, ???Well, I??™m all packed and ready to go. Sure has been a nice vacation."

Nell gives Loren a hug and says, "You come back any time you want to spend some time just to take a drive up here or whatever, you are always welcome, Loren."

"yeah, Loren," says Lou, "you come back any time. We'd love to have you."

"I??™ll be seein' you guys," says Loren, "come down and see us in Texas sometime. Bye now."

"You take care, Loren," says Lou.

"You drive carefully, now." Nell calls out from the porch as Loren gets in his pickup and pulls out of the driveway.

The end

Nell & Loren