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Things have been rough around here for a week or so. I was
almost afraid to ask if I could make another story because
of Mom??™s typing machine problems. I think that Chatterbox
squirrel who emailed me might have been a spammer or hacker
after all, because the machine has not been the same since.
All of a sudden Mom??™s email stories stopped coming and she
was not a happy camper. She kept grumbling, ???Where are my
Stars and Fish???? (For Pete??™s sake, she says its
???Starfish.???) Before she got that fixed some other emails
broke too ??“ like her ???Stories and Times.??? Why is something
always broken around here anyway?
The other day Dad was hugging me
telling me what a good girl I had finally turned into. Then
Mommy said, ???Shiloh, it sure was a long time coming.??? That
really confused me and hurt my feelings, because I thought I
was always good. So, Mommy sat down and told me about when
I was a baby ??“ you know, the stuff you can??™t remember no
matter how hard you try. I think some of this stuff is lies
again, and I don??™t know why she insists on telling me stuff
that isn??™t true. I know for a fact telling lies is naughty!
Well, I guess I was very smart and
learned to potty outside really quick. I learned tricks
super fast, and started learning the names of all my toys
too. But, after I??™d been here a few weeks and felt really
safe and loved, Mom says I turned into a brat. She ought to
know I guess, because my Spelling Uncle says Mommy was a
terrible brat when she was a kid! She also said, ???all of a
sudden you went to help in a hand-basket??? - or something
kinda like that. I don??™t have a clue what that means. I
don??™t even know what a hand-basket is, and who could I go
help when I was still so little? What??™s wrong with her
anyway? She??™s obviously confused or something, and I know
for a fact she??™s just weird sometimes.
Anyway, I was raised in a playpen just
like all of my people??™s Schnauzer babies. I had to take
naps at certain times of the day, eat at certain times,
etcetera. Mommy likes schedules for everything ??“ how boring
is that? And, all babies must sleep with a special stuffed
animal since they don??™t have littermates anymore ??“ whatever
those are! My sleeping animal was ???Monkey Man.??? I still
have him and love him so, so much. Get this - he??™s still
bigger than me and I??™m 4 years old now. He goes everywhere
I go; he goes on car trips and everything. I have never
spent a night without him.
I guess bedtime was not ???a good thing???
around here. When I went outside to potty right before bed,
I would go into something called a ???fit???? I would run laps
in the backyard as fast as I could and my eyebrows would fly
straight up. Since it was pitch dark, my folks were scared
I??™d run smack dab into a tree and break my neck. It
probably helped that my eyebrows were ???up??? so I could see
where I was going! When I would finally come in, Mommy says
I would have my nightly temper tantrum. I would slam Monkey
Man around in the playpen, fuss, cry, and act like a brat.
I wonder why I did that? Maybe it was because I knew Josey
(my best friend) was in bed with Mommy and Daddy? That
would cause any pup to have a tantrum, don??™t ya think?
Besides, I could see them in the people bed from my playpen
??“ gee whiz! Sometimes I think ???people??? are a little on the
slow side.
One thing I do remember is the very
first time I got to sleep in that people bed with my whole
family. We had company and Daddy said he didn??™t want me
keeping them awake with my nightly tantrum (sometimes they
lasted a while I guess), so he put me in the big bed. Oh
boy, it was even better than I thought it would be! But,
Josey would not budge from ???her place??? right up against
Mommy. I guess that was okay since it had been her place
for eight years already.
She also finally explained why I have
floppers ??“ that??™s what she calls my ears. I always wondered
about them, because when I??™d look in the family album, all
the other Schnauzers had pointy ears that stood straight up.
I just figured they were a birth defect or something! Mom
said since I was such a brat and so ornery, they decided my
ears fit my personality ??“ whatever that big word means! I
just think it means I got really, really lucky. Whoa, I
wouldn??™t want someone hacking away on my floppers! She also
said they took a little getting used to in the night. Duh?
I guess if I sleep a long time and have one smashed under me
??“ when I wake up to turn over I always shake my head really
hard, and my floppers make so much noise they wake her up.
Well, exxccuussee me for havin??™ ears
(c) 2004 by Katleene S. Bake
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