There hasn??™t been a dull day since Hank came to live with us!  Things have really been lookin??™ up around here.  Three days after he got here, my Spelling Uncle and Aunt Vic came too.  Whoa!  I couldn??™t believe how much stuff was happening all at one time, and how much fun we were having.  Hip, hip hooray!

But, it wasn??™t long before stuff went downhill fast!  I was even thinking about running away from home.  Yep, and I was gonna take my new Hank with me too.  All of a sudden Mommy wouldn??™t let us play anymore.  Can you imagine that?  I finally got me a Hank, and we spent two weeks having lots of fun.  Then Mommy Dearest puts the cakes on!  (Yeah, so - the word is ???brakes???)  I was s-o-o-o-o mad.  I waited a whole year for a friend, and then things were just a mess.

Mommy said it was because Hank pulled the muscles in his back from roughhousing with me.  Like it was all my fault!  I thought boys were supposed to be tough!  What if Hank ends up being a wimp or something?  Oh, brother - that would be just my luck!  I know he really did go to the Doctor place because he came home with that ???doctor smell??? on him.  He had to take pills two times a day, and the doctor said we couldn??™t play anymore for 5-7 days.  I always loved my doctor so much.  I wonder why she decided to start picking on Hank and me?  Well, it probably wasn??™t Dr. C. at all.  It was probably Mommy telling more of her lies.  Anyway, we both got really ticked off.  If we were sleepy, we got to take naps together - big deal, huh?  But the minute we woke up and started to play, Mom would snatch one of us up and away we??™d go to a different room.  Sometimes one of us had to go in a room that has gates on the doors.  Why would anyone treat two little Schnauzers like they were prisoners in their own house?  Go figure??¦??¦??¦??¦..

That??™s when I decided I might pack up our favorite toys and just leave this joint.  It was kind of scary though, because I didn??™t know where we would go.  I wondered how long it would take to walk to Grandpa B??™s.  house?  I figured he??™d probably at least let us live in his basement with his sump hole!  But, there was no way two little Schnauzers could haul their own food that far.  Hank couldn??™t carry anything except maybe one tiny toy because he is too little.  That meant I??™d have to do all the work.  I hadn??™t even decided what to do about that mess, when things got even worse! 

I just couldn??™t believe my floppers when I heard what was Mommy was planning.  She just up and took off fishing with my Spelling Uncle, and left us home alone for 9 days.  Well, Daddy was here, but that doesn??™t count.  There??™s lots of dog stuff a Dad doesn??™t know about.  I was really scared of what would become of us.  And, I could tell Daddy wasn??™t having much fun either.  He had to call Mom and ask her stuff all the time. 

I don??™t know why, because she left those sticky note thingies all over the house for him.  Every time you looked around there was another one of those stupid yellow thingies hanging on something!  You should have seen this place - she??™s so weird sometimes. 

One night while Mom was gone, I thought Daddy might need to call that 911 number I??™ve heard about.  I??™m not sure what the problem was, but Dad turned white and was making all kinds of terrible noises.  He had his robe on and Hank was sleeping in his lap.  Everything was fine until Hank woke up.  Dad started to put him down, and then started yelling some words I??™d never heard before, and he was screeching at the very same time!  Then he pulled Hank back really, really close.  Every time he started to put Hank down, he had to grab him back close again.  I didn??™t think Hank would ever let go.  I still haven??™t figured out what Hank had a hold of, but I don??™t think it was a ???good thing!???  When Hank finally let go of whatever it was, Daddy just fell backwards in his chair.  He kept on making groaning noises, with his hands kind of folded in his lap.  He even had water running down his face, and I don??™t know where that even came from.  It was really scary, and I thought he might gettin??™ one of those heart cracks (for Pete??™s sake, Mom says its ???heart attacks???).  I was so happy when he snapped out of it, because I don??™t know my numbers good enough to call 911.

Mommy finally came home and got things back in order around here.  Whew - it was about time too!  But, what kind of Mom just runs off and leaves her new baby anyway?  Especially to go catch a dumb fish!  Besides, I??™m really tired of hearing about how big it was.  She looks at its picture and moans and groans, and it makes me feel really bad.  I wonder if she loves that fish more than she loves Hank and me?  Gggrrr!  I know one thing,  ???that fish must have really been a fast swimmer if it took her 9 days to catch the stupid thing!???  If you ask me, I don??™t think she??™s much of a fisher-woman, no matter what she says??¦??¦??¦??¦

 (c) 2004 Kathy Baker