There is an underlying frenzy in the air as soon as the Thanksgiving turkey comes out of the oven. The women start making up their Christmas lists and organizing their calendars with parties, programs, and appointments. The children dream of sugar plum fairies, DVD players, and Tommy Hilfiger clothes. The men, on the other hand, after hanging up a few outdoor decorations, come in, eat hearty, sit back, and watch some football. Some observers might say that these men are oblivious to the impending hubbub and excitement that the Christmas season brings. However, their minds are well lubricated with rich turkey gravy and fine honed from Christmases past as they plan this year's quest for the perfect "real" Christmas tree.

For generations the men on both sides of my family have held firm to the tradition of having a fresh Christmas tree for the holidays. A few may have faltered along the way but most of them came back to the allure of Ole Tannenbaum. My father in law John and his father before him put up their freshly cut trees on Christmas Eve and decorated them on the same night. My father William, being born and raised in Germany would never have thought of putting up a fake tree. That was "verboten." Although in the 60's my mother acquired a gaudy silver aluminum tree that we used for a few years. That thing was sharper than a real tree and my sister and I were glad when it finally fell apart. In later years my dad became notorious for his "S" curved trunk trees that always threatened to fall over. One year I made the mistake of offering to go out and pick one up for him, which is something that I never ever did again. My brother in law Duane had one tree that was missing its top but his family thought it was magnificent. Bob, my other brother in law gave into modern perfection because being a tool & die maker he felt that nature wasn't perfect enough.

Then there is my husband Mike, who takes this crusade extremely seriously. He took us on one scouting trip a few years back that encompassed over a 35-mile radius, which subsequently resulted in a change in tradition in the ensuing years. Lets face it after looking at hundreds of trees a "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree looked just grand to the girls and I but not to Daddy. Now Mike goes on well-planned scouting trips by himself and when he thinks he has found the best bunch of trees then we all have to bundle up and go. The selection process usually takes a couple of tiring hours for Mike to find his flawless tree which is usually the first tree we looked at. Michael loves tall fat trees that should only be displayed in mansions. Nevertheless, to Mike our modest ranch is his mansion hence he always has to cut off a great portion of the bottom of the tree and it always takes up a great majority of the room.

Each year the women in the family have to clench their teeth and keep their lips sewn shut for they have also learned from Christmases past. Uttering any true facts about fresh trees will change a Tannebaumer's "Merry Ho Ho Ho" into "Bah Humbug" in a blink of an eye. However, it is very hard not to remind them that the trees are cut months before and therefore are not fresh unless you cut them yourself but that is a whole other story. Another item worth bringing up is when a tree completely thaws out its shape sometimes changes and inside are lots of goodies such as; tons of needles and birds nests. The tree may look real green and fresh but that is because it has been sprayed with green colored fire retardant. Their beautiful pine smell usually only lasts a few days and let us not forget watering the tree with a special secret concoction is difficult and dangerous. Falling ornaments and needles make it an obstacle course. Once a tree has been purchased it needs to be kept sheltered out of the snow and ice storms or it will end up being a 500 lb. pinecicle. Tannenbaumers should only go to the local watering hole after their acquisitions have been made. Otherwise a neighbors shrub may end up in your living room.

It wouldn't be the holidays to my family this year if we didn't sit back and admire Dad's radiant Christmas tree and listen to tales of the deal he got. Laughing and sharing golden memories of past holiday tree excursions and remembering the look on all the patriarchs, past and present, as they promenaded in the house with their pine needled pride and joy makes every Christmas shining and unforgettable. Nonetheless, I will plead one more time, "Honey, please find a tree that fits into the corner and doesn't take up the whole room. It would be so nice this year if when friends and family come over they don't end up with pine needles in their teeth from the boughs that get sprung back when the door opens!" Oh those Tannenbaumers! What would we do without them?
By Dee Ann E. L. Horvath
Ambereye3@aol.com
11-20-02

Lake Of Dreams
http://hometown.aol.com/ambereye3/