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It wasn??t
a big lie. Just a little one. A lie about ?? of all things
?? Sunday School.
???And what did
you learn about today in Sunday School???? Mom asked.
I had to
think quickly. My mother would not be pleased to know that
George and I had skipped Sunday School to check out the new
swings at the elementary school next door. In fact, she
would be downright angry ?? so angry that she might have a
heart attack or something. So actually, I figured I was
doing Mom a favor by protecting her from the painful truth.
???We learned
about David and Goliath,??? I fibbed.
"And what did
you learn about David and Goliath???? Mom asked.
I knew I
couldn??t afford to pause or stammer, so I forged ahead
anxiously.
???We learned
that Goliath was big,??? I said. ???Really big. Bigger than
Dad. Bigger than Wilt Chamberlain. Bigger than just about
anyone who ever lived. Bigger than . . ???
???We get the
idea,??? Mom said, as everyone around the Sunday dinner table
looked up from the roast beef and mashed potatoes and gravy
to giggle. ???What else did you learn????
I started to
squirm a little, trying desperately not to let my discomfort
show.
???Well, we
learned that David was . . . um . . . you know . . .
smaller. Not like an ant or a bug or a rabbit or anything
like that. Not that small. Just . . . you know . . . like
a little kid. Small like that. Smaller than Goliath.???
???Uh-huh,??? my
mother nodded. ???So Goliath was big and David was small. Go
on.???
This was
getting serious. I had about exhausted my supply of David
and Goliath trivia.
???Well . . .
uh . . . see, David had this slingshot . . . and . . you
know . . . he got a rock and hit Goliath . . . and . . .
well . . . Goliath died . . and . . . well, that??s what
happened.???
I was feeling
pretty good about my lie until Mom asked one more question:
???Why????
???What????
???Why???? she
repeated. ???Why did he kill Goliath? That??s an important
part of the story.???
???Why????
???Yes ?? why????
???Yeah, tell
us, Joey,??? my big sister Kathy taunted. ???Why did David kill
Go-Lieth.???
I was so
distraught I missed the pun. I even forgot to slug Kathy
for calling me ???Joey.???
???Well . . .
um . . . it was because . . . uh . . . you know . . David
had . . . I mean, Goliath had . . . sort of . . . um . . .
stolen the king??s . . you know . . . singing harp . . ???
???Nice try,???
Mom said as laughter erupted around the dinner table.
???You??re thinking of Jack and the Beanstalk. Different
giant.???
I was getting
desperate. ???Um, I don??t think Sister Hayes told us why he
had to kill him.???
???That??s the
first thing you??ve said that I believe,??? Mom said. ???Sister
Hayes didn??t tell you that because she wasn??t there. And
guess who was the substitute teacher in your class? I??ll
give you a hint: it??s the same person who knows that today??s
lesson was on Queen Esther.???
A sick
feeling began to swell in the pit of my stomach. Looking at
all the smiles bursting around the kitchen table, I knew the
answer.
???I don??t know
what bothers me most,??? Mom said sadly before sending me to
my room without Sunday dinner. ???That you didn??t go to
Sunday School, or that you lied to me about it.???
I would like
to be able to tell you that this experience was so painful
and traumatic that I never told another lie ?? big or
little. Unfortunately, that would be . . . you know . . .
lying. But I think that was the last time I ever lied about
going to Sunday School/
That??s saying
something, isn??t it? |
