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A recent topic on the Oprah show
had a simple concept that left me wondering why, since
it is so obviously positive, more people aren't
practicing the art of passing along kind words.
On this particular show, Oprah
was completely taken off guard when a woman from her
childhood made a surprise appearance. Clearly it was
an emotional moment for the queen of television who
explained, through tears, how this woman's kind words,
of long ago, greatly impacted her life.
As Oprah tells it, she was about
8 years old when this woman, whom she had never met,
looked at her and said: "You are as cute as a speckled
pup." Though Oprah really wasn't quite sure what she
meant, she knew it was a compliment and that single
remark helped to empower an otherwise timorous child
to begin to believe in herself.
The phenomenally successful Oprah
Winfrey stood on the stage of her enormously popular
talk show with this lady, tears streaming down her
face as the emotional impact of four decades ago still
holds meaning that causes a stirring in her soul.
Kind words have the power to
inspire lives, yet I wonder how often people realize
that they hold the key to impacting the lives of
others by creating kindness.
I was a gangly adolescent,
awkward, terribly self-conscious and painfully shy.
By age fourteen nothing much had changed. Back then a
friend of mine had an older sister who, by all our
accounts, was hip and cool. She had a hearty laugh
and an outgoing personality that blended easily in the
popular social circles. She was well liked among her
peers.
As long as its been I can still
remember the light blue eye shadow she always wore, a
color that brought out the beauty of her pale blue
eyes. She was fun loving and not at all afraid to be
herself.
One day I heard her say something
to my friend that had a positive effect in my gawky
young life. I'll never know if she said it
intentionally, for me to hear, but she asked who I was
and then made the comment that she thought I was
pretty. That was about the kindest thing I've ever
heard anyone say about me.
At the time my puffy round cheeks
and oversized lips that were not in vogue at that time
gave me reason to be withdrawn and self
conscious. And, it's not that this compliment
automatically changed my life or caused me to win any
popularity contests because it didn't. But what it
did was help the fragile ego of a young, insecure
teen-ager to look in the mirror without an ugly
duckling frame of mind.
My friend's sister also pierced
my ears that year. With a tiny pearl decorating each
ear lobe, I slowly emerged from my self imposed shell
of self doubt. Kind words can replace feelings of low
self-esteem with self assurance.
Uplifting comments can give
someone that extra nudge to see past their
shortcomings to reach for the endless limit of starry
skies.
The people speaking the kind
words probably won't even remember them in years to
come. But the recipient will remember it always.
Overdosing on being nice should be a mindful
indulgence for the kind at heart. Like love, kindness
grows; the more you give the more you have to share.
Just think of the positive power you possess when you
arm yourself with kind words. Imagine the benefits of
helping someone's self-esteem blossom like the petals
of a flower, gently unfolding in its own potential
beauty.
I don't remember the lady's name
whose kind words helped to change the way Oprah saw
herself at such a young age.
But, I do remember that long ago
teen-ager whose unexpected compliment helped me to see
myself as more than homely and inept. Her name is Rita
and her kind words have never been forgotten.
?© 2004 Kathy Whirity
*Bio
Kathy Whirity lives in Chicago
where she shares her life and love with her husband of
28 years, Bill, their two daughters, Jaime and Katie,
and two rambunctious retrievers, Holly and Hannah.
Kathy is a family life columnist
for two area newspapers.
For more of Kathy??™s writings you
may visit her web page:
'KATHY WHIRITY'S MUSINGS FROM THE HEART.'
http://www.heartwarmers4u.com/members?kathyw |
