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???On the Road??? with Charles Kuralt
was one of my husband??s favorite TV shows, and I admit
it was enjoyable, especially for those of us who live
in big cities. We sometimes forget about the back
roads, small towns, and beautiful scenery; we just fly
down the interstates to reach our destination as
quickly as possible.
Jerry, my husband, is in
la-la-land when driving the back roads, old two-lane
highways, and farm-to-market roads; and he does just
that when given the chance. Stopping at Mom-and-Pop
cafes, fruit stands, and simply visiting with ???local
folk??? always sends him home with a lively story, or
two, or more. He??s definitely a Charles Kuralt ???wanna-be.???
He??s had some pretty exciting and
unusual adventures in rural Texas. Unfortunately,
getting lost happens all too frequently, usually in
areas with no cell towers for miles. One very
memorable trip involved being chased by a pack of wild
dogs through an overgrown country cemetery. Luckily
he made it to the car just in the nick of time, and
with the seat of his pants still in tact! And once he
stopped to help in a cattle roundup! A herd had
broken through a fence and just been discovered by
their owner as he was driving down the road on his
tractor. About then Jerry came cruising around a bend
in the road, singing ???On The Road Again??? along with
Willie Nelson. The farmer waved him down, asked for
help; and they went right to work. There they were -
herding cattle with a tractor and Jerry as ???backup
man??? - in a Lexus! Just envision that.
His last journey resulted in
being abducted! Yep ?? by a Red Hatter of
approximately 75 years of age! How does he find all
this excitement out in the middle of nowhere? While
driving down the road between Idalou (pop. 2,157) and
Lorenzo (pop. 1,372), he noticed a lone building
surrounded by cotton fields and apple orchards. The
unusual thing was the amount of vehicles parked in
front; and out in the middle of nowhere. It appeared
to be a gift shop of sorts, so he pulled in to see
what all the commotion was and stretch his legs. The
sign in front read: Apple Country.
Once inside, he began visiting
with an employee as he studied the various jams and
jellies for sale. But where were all the people
that belonged to all those autos? He was the only
person in the shop! Finally the sales lady began
explaining that the Red Hatters were having a meeting
in their back room. At that very moment a Red Hatter
snuck up behind him, grabbed his arm, and said, ???I
heard you askin?? about us. Well, ya know this is a
rural area, so our chapter is made up of ladies from
small towns all around the county.???
He was not only startled by her,
but at a loss for words as he didn??t even know what
the term ???Red Hatter??? stood for. While staring at her
wild red hat he finally mumbled something along the
lines of, ???Is this meetin?? for fun, or is something
illegal going on here???? The Red Hatter giggled, her
eyes started twinkling, and she knew she??d found some
unexpected entertainment to jazz up their meeting.
She grabbed Jerry by the hand and
started dragging him towards the back. ???Come along
now son, I just can??t wait for all the girls to meet
ya!??? she snickered. Being a gentleman he couldn??t
scuffle with this little gal, and she just kept
pulling and tugging until they entered a room in the
back. To his amazement he was now in a room
full of red hats and purple clothing, and was
being introduced. ???Ladies, ladies, this man is from
Dallas and wanted to say hi to y??all.??? The entire
group started waving, hollering, and laughing. Those
Red Hatters are definitely not the shy type!
Little did they know, but Jerry
isn??t the shy type either; he rather likes women and
especially feisty senior citizens. ???Don??t pay any
attention to me ladies - I just stopped by to see if I
was really gone!??? Another round of laughter erupted
as well as more waving and clapping. He went on to
tell them his name, that he??d been out their way on
business, and at some point charmed them with,
???Looking out there at all you beautiful ladies ?? makes
me feel like I must have died and gone to heaven - and
this has got to be recess!???
He was barely through the door
that evening when he started telling me about the Red
Hatters, although he still had no idea who they were.
Once I reminded him of my favorite poem ?? it struck
him light a bolt of lightening! ???But, you didn??t ever
tell me they actually had an organization,??? he said,
???I just thought it was a poem you liked.??? I could
tell by the enthusiasm in his voice that stumbling
upon these lively ladies had ???made his day.??? No
doubt, they probably felt the same way; at least I
hope so.
I don??t imagine these jovial
little gals expect to see Jerry again, but I have a
feeling they will. He travels that route several
times a year calling on clients, and he??s going to be
keeping an eye on the parking area at Apple Country.
One of these days he??ll be barging into their meeting
with, ???Hi ya ladies, I??m back.??? And this time no
abduction will be necessary??¦??¦??¦.
Lnstrlady@aol.com
?©2005 Kathleene S. Baker |
