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You know your pets have total control
when you sneak around in order to leave the house
peacefully! I??™ve been known to slip my purse into the
garage, as well as my shoes, while the dogs are in another
room. Those items are a dead give away if you hope to get
out of this house without a ruckus.
I was simply going to the bank and drop
off a deposit at the drive-through. Shiloh and Hank love
the doggie treats that are delivered by the mysterious tube,
so I decided to take the little monsters along. After all,
it had been a while since they??™d gone along to woof at the
tellers.
I should have known it was going to be
a bad trip after the wrestling match in the utility room.
My husband has a favorite saying that came to mind: ???Like
sandpapering a lions behind in a phone booth.??? I??™d just
about get Hanks collar on when Shiloh would pick up his
leash and give it a good yank, and I??™d have to start all
over again. Then I??™d begin to hook Shiloh??™s collar and Hank
would high jump her or shove her so he??™d be closest to the
door. One of us, or both of us, would lose our balance; I??™d
lose my grip and have to start all over. It should
not take ten minutes to attach collars and leashes
on two small dogs!
Next was competition to see who could
get in the car first, followed by console-standing rights.
Naturally, I keep my trusty towel along to prevent toenail
scratches. Two blocks from the house I made my first stop
to scold them, and reposition the towel. Four blocks
further down the road I stopped again for a repeat
performance.
At last we arrived at the bank, and I
pulled up to grab the tube that would swish my deposit away
like magic. As the window started down, Shiloh launched
herself from the back, through the console opening, and
landed on my neck. There she was, stuck between my neck and
the headrest and I didn??™t even have the deposit tube in my
hand yet. I ran the window back up so she couldn??™t make an
escape, while trying to gain control of the situation.
Somehow she had also tangled her leash with my seatbelt and
it took some fancy moves to remove her, since I couldn??™t
even see what was hung up on what! Once she was in the
backseat again, I made another attempt to retrieve the
tube. As I was doing so, I noticed a BMW in the next lane.
The lady inside was all decked out in her business suit but
her eyes were the size of plates, like she was watching a
sideshow or something. Evidently she??™s never taken her dog
to the bank. Poor neglected pooch.
Oh, finally, sweet success! The tube
was now swishing it??™s way up, up, and away, as I yelled
hello to the teller through a two-inch crack in the
window. I noticed she had a strange look on her face too,
much like the lady in the BMW.
Soon I heard the tube rattling it??™s way
back down the shoot; I opened the window, pulled it inside
quickly, and ran the window back up. I opened the lid and
both dogs went berserk as the aroma of the treats permeated
the interior of the car. They were fussing and grumbling as
they struggled for position on the console again.
I could hardly wait to cram a treat into their yappy little
mouths to calm them down and shush them up, but the treats
were like molten lava. And they were just the right size
for a couple of miniature schnauzers to choke on. Suddenly
my nose was nearly touching the floor carpeting, the
seatbelt was gouged into my tummy, and I chomped down hoping
to shatter the lava into bite-sized pieces. I was praying
the tellers in their ???window to the world??? thought I had
simply dropped something, and also that I hadn??™t broken a
tooth!
I smiled and waved to the tellers as we
drove out, and continued to give each little monster tiny
bites. I had one more hunk of lava in my hand, which I
tossed out as soon as I rounded the corner where the
treat-giving tellers couldn??™t see me.
By the time we got home my nerves were
shot. I hung up my jacket, checked the answering machine,
and then noticed both little monsters already sound asleep
smack dab in the middle of the king size bed. Ah ??“ they
looked just like two precious little angels
Lnstrlady@aol.com
?©2005 Kathleene S. Baker |
