Do you know about foot in mouth disease??  Well I??™ve got it and I don??™t think there is a cure for it.?  Well maybe eating crow might be a Sauv?© to soothe the hurt.?  But it won??™t erase the embarrassment.

Let me tell you how I got this disease.?  You see it was like this.

One morning I was sitting out on my front porch waiting for my lady mail carrier so I could hand her a package that was too big to go in my mail box.

She goes down the other side of my street first then comes back up my side. ? I watched as she went down the other side and she stopped at my friend??™s house catty cornered across from me.?  She sat there for about ten minutes.

I decided I would tease James a little so I went into the house and called his cell phone, which he always carries on his belt.?  He didn??™t answer; I just got a message to leave a message.

So I said, ???What are you doing holding up my mail lady???? and hung up.?  Then I call his beeper number and left the same message.

When I walked back out on the front porch the mail truck was gone.?  It takes about ten minutes for the carrier to go down the other side of the street and get back to my house so I knew I wouldn??™t have long to wait.

James saw me on the porch so he walked over to me and asked why I had sent a message on his beeper.?  Why didn??™t you call me on my cell phone?

I told him I did and he wouldn??™t answer so I beeped him.?  He pulled out his cell phone and checked it and there was no message on it.?  Just then the lady mail carrier pulled up to my mail box and James and I walked out to meet her.

I handed her my package and James showed her my message on his beeper.?  They both laughed.?  James had been filling out a change of address card and that was what took her so long at his house.?  She drove on and James and I came into my office.

???Are you sure you dialed the right number when you dialed my cell phone???? James wanted to know. ? I opened my rolodex and read of the number I had for James??™s cell phone.?  ???oh that??™s my old number. ? I changed numbers about three months ago.??? And he gave me his new number.

About an hour later my phone rang and when I answered a lady??™s voice sounding very mad said, ???did someone from this number call my daughter and tell her I was being held up????? 

???No ma am. ? I don??™t know what you??™re talking about.???

? ???Well someone called my daughter from this number. Now who uses this phone????

Then a light bulb went on in my head.?  ???was this about an hour ago?????  ???yes.????  Was the call to your daughters cell phone?????  ???yes.????  ???is your daughters cell phone number (and I recited James old cell phone number)?????  ???yes.???

???Well I can tell you what happened.??? ? I told her about my lady mail carrier being stopped at James??™s house for so long and getting the idea to tease him about it.?  Coming into the house and dialing his cell phone and leaving that message and later finding out that I had the wrong number.

???Then when Teresa came to my mail box is when I learned that James had been filling out a change of address card.????  ???did you say Teresa???? This voice wanted to know.?  ???yes that is the name of my mail carrier.???? 

???Well I know her and I??™m going to ask her if this is true.?  You see I??™m a mail carrier also.???

Wow what are the odds of this happening.?  James gave up his old number three months ago.?  It was assigned to the daughter of a lady mail carrier in my town.?  Me dialing that number just as this second lady mail carrier was talking to her daughter and saying, ???why are you holding up my mail lady mail carrier.???

Well I don??™t know how to figure those kinds of odds.?  The next time I talked to my mail carrier she said ??¦ but that??™s a whole ???nother story for a different time.

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