|
Growing up
and vying for that first real boyfriend is not easy
for any teenage girl. Having a boyfriend can also be
a status symbol to some. When you have a boyfriend
you can hold your head high. You can proclaim to your
peers which just happens to be your entire world that
you are somebody and you have somebody who loves you.
From the age of 14 onward all my friends on the block
had boyfriends, the girls that I hardly knew at school
had boyfriends, and Claudia had a boyfriend. If you
remember from a previous story I even wanted her
boyfriend! It left just Maxine and I to get that
first real boyfriend. I had already decided that I
just would not be able to live with myself if Maxine
got a boyfriend before I did. Albeit she was more
gracious than I because she always said that Claudia
would be the first to have a boyfriend, then I,
leaving her the last.
I had first
had a crush on Bryan Nichols in grade 2. Bryan like
everyone in the school never bothered to acknowledge
my existence. Then there was Yvon Bertrand, the
French boy on the block. He too did not acknowledge my
existence. Instead I ended up his kid sister??™s
babysitter all in the hopes of catching his eye and
his love. I had a crush on Kim the boy who later
became a star in his own right. All that I got from
that experience was a younger brother who was crazy
over me. Believe me it was no big deal. I didn??™t
want him, I wanted Kim. Finally there was Mark,
Claudia??™s boyfriend that I secretly wished I could
have for my own. I was really taken with this boy. I
waited every night by the phone forfeiting my right to
go anywhere because I did not want to miss his call.
The call of course never came. His only interest in
me was to make his girlfriend jealous, but it had to
be out in the open where all their friends could see.
If there was a private phone call nobody would believe
him especially Claudia.
It seemed that
Maxine and I were meant to be alone. I carried a
picture of some boy my grandmother knew around with
me. I pretended to all unsuspecting individuals that
this boy was in fact my boyfriend. But Maxine knew me
like no other. She knew I did not have a boyfriend.
Maxine and I
shared every little secret. There was nothing left
unsaid between us. So of course we talked about boys
and how we wished we had boyfriends. All either of us
could go on, was our past loves.
We shared a
similar past, two unpopular girls that the boys would
barely look at. But we both had a childhood love.
Mine was Brian Nichols who had left the school at the
end of grade 2, and hers was Myles who still lived in
Nova Scotia while she was now here in Quebec. I would
always tease her and say that Myles was miles away but
she knew I understood. We were kindred spirits.
Oh Maxine and
I did try to find boyfriends. We did our part. We
walked my dog and sometimes the occasional boy would
stop and talk to us. However nothing panned out. We
pursued boys at school. I have already written about
these adventures in my story Adonis, and we would go
up to Beaver Lake every weekend to look for boys there
as well.
Every Sunday
we would walk up to the mountain to Beaver Lake in our
Dr. Scholl??™s exercise sandals. Because of it I can
tell you that as a fat girl I really had wonderfully
strong legs. We would hang around all day sitting in
the grass and just looking for boys. Of course
nothing ever happened there either.
Finally I had
stumbled over a glitch in our telephone system. My
friend, Brenda, actually was the first person to tell
me about this wild new thing. Apparently if you
dialed any telephone number with the last two digits
ending in 99 you got a party line. There were always
young people on that line who were ready to meet. For
me this was like a gift from God. Perhaps I could
meet somebody finally and get the status that I
deserved. Brenda and I fooled around with it, Maxine
and I fooled around with it, and Lavenia and I fooled
around with it. But I was by far the most obsessed
with it.
When my
grandmother would literally throw me off the telephone
and out the house, Lavenia and I would go down to the
corner pharmacy and use the pay phone to call up these
numbers. The pharmacist was irritated with us but
never made us leave unless he had a paying customer
who wanted to use the phone.
I spoke to
many guys over the line from the ages of 14 to 18. I
was particularly crazy over this boy - Larry
Hitchcock. He was 16 while I was 15. He lived over
in the next neighbourhood from me and he and I would
talk for hours and hours on the phone every night. It
was wonderful. It was the first time in my life that
I ever had a guy spend that much time with me. I was
enjoying every minute of it and of course I wanted to
meet him.
We did meet
and I was even crazier over him than before. He was
so cute! But I guess the feeling was not mutual.
After meeting me Larry never spoke to me again. He
would never answer his phone nor return my phone
calls. Finally out of desperation I called him in the
middle of the night. He answered and told me never to
call him again. No explanation was given but I knew
it was because I was fat. I had to deal with that all
of my life.
I met a few
other guys and at least they were honest with me.
They told me I was too fat. The last guy I met over
the party line was Jeff. He lived across the river
from me (Montreal is an island in the St. Lawrence
River). He was also in high school and worked
weekends at an old fort on Ste Helen??™s Island which is
a tourist attraction for our area. He mentioned he
had a friend that worked there as well. We did meet
and he seemed to like me which was a surprise. It
appeared that my weight did not bother him. The only
thing he was concerned about was whether or not I was
tall enough for him to comfortably put his arms around
my shoulders when we were walking. Well, what can I
say ???to each his own??? - I was not about to complain!
I spoke at
length about him to Maxine and we decided to go to the
fort and surprise him. Maxine would try to win the
attention of his friend and perhaps each of us would
finally have the boyfriends we craved so long for.
Much to our own demise, the whole situation turned out
to be a fiasco. First of all we had him called away
from his duty to come and meet with us. He was
certainly not happy about that. Then when he had a
break and brought his friend over one look from his
friend and we knew that the friend was laughing at
us. Maxine decided that two could play the same game
and she acted really silly. I remained quiet just
like Jeff did. We spoke briefly and then Maxine and I
went home.
When I finally
spoke to Jeff again he told me that it was not a good
thing to do to come to his work like that. He said
that I had embarrassed him in front of all his
friends. He said that we were just little girls and
he had no time for that. However, Maxine was the one
acting like a little girl though I have to admit I did
giggle at her foolishness. But really I just wanted to
talk to Jeff. The part he left out which was the
crux of the matter was that I was fat and that was an
embarrassment to him.
From my
standpoint I was the same little girl he liked before
I met his friends, how come it suddenly made a
difference? I was 15 and he was 16 and he was so much
more grown up that I? The truth of the matter was my
weight was not an issue for him but it was for his
friends and he didn??™t want to be laughed at.
That was the
last time I met anyone from the party line. The line
was discontinued shortly afterwards. Maxine and I
resumed our boring lives as usual talking about Brian
and Myles who lived miles away.
Carol Roach
winterose@videotron.ca,
Carol Roach is
a published writer and newsletter editor. You can
purchase her book: Picking Up The Pieces: A Woman's
Journey at
www.publishamerica.com, or
www.amazon.com. You can also go to your local
bookstore and order it there as well. If you are
interested in other stories feel free to join her
newsletter: Storytime Tapestry at:
storytime_tapestry-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or
email her directly at
winterose@videtron.ca and she will be glad to
accomodate you. Carol enjoys email and responds to
every inquiry.
|
