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The
memories flooded back, as I walked the familiar path of
yesteryear!? Tears filled my eyes and the hurt began all
over again. ` What the hell was I doing?' I asked myself `I
did not have to do this!? It was masochistic, but something
inside drove me on and I found myself outside the house. My
house of horrors!
Was it
really forty years since I had walked down this street?? Now
here I was and I intended to `lay the ghost of the past'?
Who was
that young girl who had been so happy when she moved into
her first new home with her husband? Could it have been me??
No! It was some else, someone I vaguely remember. Not me! It
could not possibly have been me. Was it?? Was I once so
young and happy? How quickly that happiness changed.
What was I
doing here? You ask. I asked myself the same question as I
walked the final steps to the house.? A very different and
much older Violet!? More secure, more sure of herself??
Wiser?? I hoped so.? I knocked the door and realised my hand
was shaking.
The irony
of my school friend from, so long ago, buying my old home
hit me, as she opened the door and hugged me. ` You didn't
have to come, my demons screamed at me.'? `You could have
found an excuse.'? Why hadn't I?? Because for the first time
in my life I knew I could cope with, and beat my demons.
Taking a deep breath I walked into the house.
What a
difference Bridie had made. The ground floor was now all
open- planning and looked so much lighter. It was lovely,
yet as I sat on the lounge all I could see was a bed and
memories of the day I gave birth to my Son in that room??¦
Bridie was so bubbly and excited at seeing me she insisted
on showing me over the whole house.
"You must
see what we have done to the bedrooms Violet."
With that
she almost dragged me up the stairs. The main bedroom now
had an en suite and they had a big sliding door leading out
onto a lovely veranda now. I had to agree it was lovely and
congratulated Bridie, for what that had achieved with the
old place. But not even that could stop my memories of the
beatings and hell I had suffered in that room. I could still
`smell' the drink off my ex husband as he `fell `up the
stairs and `reeled' though the door in a drunken stupor. I
was so glad to get back downstairs.
I was
about to make my excuses and get away, thinking I had made a
terrible mistake when the man next door walked in. Sweeping
me up in his arms he gave me a big kiss.? I was surprised.
"John
Baker!? Fancy you still here" I laughed. John had been a
teenager and lived next door with his parents, when I had
moved in.? John told me his parents had passed away and he
had decided to stay.
"I Thought
I would wait for you to come back for me." He laughed as he
continued. "You do know I had a crush on you don't you?'
From that moment on everything changed.?
? "You were
just a crazy mixed up kid in those days John, but we did
have fun didn't we?"
"Yes we
sure did, but we all knew what was going on Violet and the
whole neighborhood applauded when you finally got your
divorce and got on with your life."
I was a
little stunned to realize my efforts to `hide' what the
children and I had suffered, had been in vain, but it made
sense of a lot of things when I thought about it.? I could
only manage a quiet `thank you' before John continued, as
Bride carried in a tray of tea and cakes.?
"Enough
sadness. He smiled helping himself to an iced cake. Do you
remember the bonfire nights? They were so much fun and
everyone joined in."
"Oh yes" I
replied. How well I remembered the Guy Fawkes celebrations
in our street. They were the talk of the town and people
came from far and wide just to see our fireworks.? ? "The
whole street joined forces in collecting and building the
bonfire for weeks before the night."
"Yes and
we had the biggest and best looking Guy Fawkes too." John
laughed, as he turned to Bridie. "You used to come with Bob
and the two little ones remember?"
"I sure do
remember." Bridie sat down beside me. "I remember your hot
dogs and toffee apples too." She said, turning to me smiling
as she spoke.
Oh my
toffee apples. I had almost forgotten the fun of making all
the toffee apples and hot dogs for the bonfire nights.? The
happy laughter; the fireworks, the smell of the smoke. The
last embers of the fire used by the older children to cook
baked potatoes in their jackets.? Happy memories of the
whole neighbourhood celebrating Guy Fawkes night. Like a
sudden flash The realization hit me.. THERE WERE HAPPY
MEMORIES!? My unhappiness had blocked out the good times.?
The rest of the day was spent recalling even more happy
times and I accepted Bridie's offer to return the following
week and spend a few days with them.? After forty
Many times
we are told we should never go back. We should leave the
past behind us. I think in many cases that is true, but when
there is a ghost to be laid, we should seriously consider
facing it. I am so glad I did.
?© Violet
Apted
email
Violet Hall at this address: violet77 @ optushome.com.au
About Me:
Family:
Two Daughters One Son... Five adorable grandchildren
City: Brisbane Queensland Australia
Work: Freelance writer and Tutor U3A Creative writing
Hobbies: Computer, Music and Travelling
My Dream: To write a BEST SELLER
Travels: Egypt; Hong Kong; UK; Canada; Bangkok;
? ? ? ? Scotland; Wales; Greece, USA and Australia.
I am
Originally from Sussex and Kent UK . Emigrated to Australia
27yrs ago and now live on the coast of Moreton Bay,
Queensland I love to write and have written since I first
held a pen in my hand.
I can
write in any genre and have many stories and poems published
in Magazines. I self published a book of my own poetry book,
Titled `A POSY OF VIOLETS and a book of poetry for my
pupils.
I have
completed my first novel a Murder abduction story and now
writing my second. I think my favorite writing would have to
be children's stories. (Pen name Violet Apted)
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