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The whole incident
with Bandit left a hole in my heart. I had lost my Tuffy -
my heart, when she was hit by a car. I then rescued Bandit
from the pound only to have to give him back. At least
Berger Blanc ??“ the animal shelter??™s policy is to adopt out
all animals. Bandit did find a good home ??“ most likely one
that was better than I could ever provide for him.
I knew that I was
not about to get a dog soon. First of all the City Of
Montreal, my landlord was already upset with me over the
whole Bandit ordeal and to turn around and get another dog
at this time would be treated as an act of defiance to say
the least. I could not tempt faith. I needed their
apartment more than they needed me. I would never be able
to find affordable housing elsewhere in the city. Having
said that even in the low rental I was not able to sustain
myself and son on the meager amount I was receiving from the
government for loans and bursaries. Unless you have lived
like this you cannot begin to understand the terror one
feels about losing an apartment. Animals are my life but I
rationalized what good is having animals if we all had to
live on a park bench because I could not find affordable
housing or take apartment after apartment only to be thrown
out because I could not pay the rent. Was I selfish to make
this choice, I don??™t know. I wrestled with this notion time
and again. When I allow an animal into my home they are
family. To me giving up bandit was like giving up a child
but it was something that bottom line I knew I had to do.
Being that I was not
animal-less after all I did have Tao my precious cat, I
decided that I would never have a dog again. I just
couldn??™t bare the pain of giving them up. I did not foresee
leaving the city house in the near future. I had seven
years of university to complete before my studies were
over. Being the pragmatist that I have always been, I
certainly hoped to get a good paying job at the end of it
but my motto has always been ???seeing is believing???. I work
with the means I have at my disposal and keep all options
open. But at this point in my life where dogs were
concerned the options were not open. I chose not to pine
over not having dogs anymore as I did when I lost Tuffy but
just accept that dogs would no longer be a part of my life.
One evening I came
home from the library exhausted and actually ready to call
it an early night. This was something that I rarely did for
I normally came home after midnight and this evening it was
rather early. I put the key in the door and when I opened
it right in front of my eyes was a little black dog. He
just looked at me with his big eyes. He was a Pekinese with
the biggest eyes I have ever seen. Actually if you remember
the movie The Gremlins that is exactly what he looked like.
He was funny looking yet so cute at the same time. And he
was so quiet. He just stared up at me with those big eyes.
I figured that my
son left him in the house. Probably he had a friend over
who brought his dog and they both went out some place most
likely to play basketball and left the dog behind. I didn??™t
think much of it and went on with the evening as usual. The
dog just quietly laid down beside me in the computer room.
When my son came
home I queried him about the dog and he told me that he was
selling the dog for his friend. I told him ???no way??? the dog
is not leaving this house. ???He is mine now???. And that my
friends is the story behind how we got Putz. I know, I
know, it is a strange name but I thought of hundreds of
names and nothing fit and when I came across the name Putz,
seemed to fit him to a tee.
Putz was an angel,
he was house broken, quiet, and gentle, and never left my
side. He actually was quiet lazy. He hardly moved which
did not suit my son but he was everything to me. It was so
funny to see him try to play with Tao, who still would have
nothing to do with him. He was a dog, she was a cat, there
was not going to be any cross species playing around as far
as she was concerned. But he still tried.
My son??™s girlfriend,
Kandi, had a dog at the time. Cain was a pit bull mix and
quite a large dog. Yet he was as silly as they came and
still a pup. Putz was an older dog but when Cain came he
was like a pup himself. They were so funny together
frolicking in the yard. Here was this huge dog and this
little one smaller than a cat at that. Putz just loved
animals and he loved people too especially me. He would not
leave my side.
I got the shock of
my life one evening though. Cain and Putz were out playing
in the yard and Kandi frantically ran up the stairs to the
house. She was yelling ???look at Putz??™s eye look at his
eye???. I took one look and screamed. It looked like his
eye was hanging out of its socket. It was late at night and
it was next to impossible to get a vet. But while I was
still on the phone looking for one, the eye went back into
place. I checked him out and he seemed to see perfectly
fine. We still do not know to this day what happened. The
kids took Putz the next day to have him checked by the vet
who said everything was fine. But believe me that dog gave
me the fear of my life!
Since I already knew
about my keen instincts and my psychic ability I should have
listened to them instead of ignore them as I had always
done. One night I was sitting down at the computer
disparately trying to make the deadline for a term paper
that was due the next day. Putz waited patiently to be let
out for his evening business. My son announced that he and
his friend would take him out as they were going to the
store. Something inside me said that Putz would never be
coming back ??“ since I was so tired and overwhelmed with my
work I let Steven take the dog out anyhow.
Putz never came
back. It was pitch black, the dog was pitch black, the dog
was following Steven and his friend to the store faithfully
like he always did. The boys were talking and turned around
at one point and the dog was not there. They searched as
best they could to find him but could not see a thing. My
guess is by the time they realized the dog was not following
he had already been picked up by someone else. And since
Putz was such a gentle dog he would not have made a fuss at
all. He would have obediently gone with the stranger.
We put out flyers,
and I hounded the pounds daily for a month to see if
somebody returned my dog. I had no success in finding him.
Putz was gone forever. I could have prevented it if only I
had acted on my instincts instead of ignoring them.
Putz indeed became
the last dog that I ever owned. I lost him in 1998 and I
have never had a dog since.
I never thought that
I would love a dog as much as Tuffy ??“ my heart; but I did
with Putz, Whereas Tuffy was my heart Putz was my soul.
Carol Roach
winterose@videotron.ca
Carol Roach is a
published writer and newsletter editor. You can purchase
her book: Picking Up The Pieces: A Woman's Journey at
www.publishamerica.com, or
www.amazon.com. You can also go to your local bookstore
and order it there as well. If you are interested in other
stories feel free to join her newsletter: Storytime Tapestry
at:
storytime_tapestry-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or email
her directly at
winterose@videtron.ca and she will be glad to accomodate
you. Carol enjoys email and responds to every inquiry. |
