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No, I don??™t know exactly how
you feel most of the time. But how many times have I said
that to someone thinking I was saying just the right thing.
We may feel happy, sad, or depressed for the person who is
having the problem, but we can??™t possibly know how they feel
in a given situation.
Well, we may know how the
person feels if we have had the exact problem, but if we
don??™t, then we have no clue how they really feel.
Yesterday, I was having a
difficult time with my Parkinson medicine and sent a note to
my friends telling them about it. In my note, I told them
they couldn??™t know how I was feeling unless they had as the
saying goes, ???been there and done that???. I wasn??™t trying to
be ugly or unappreciative of any sympathy they had for me
but the sudden thought came that although they would
sympathize with me, they couldn??™t know my feelings.
My new Parkinson medicine is
supposed to help stop the tremors but although it may be
working a bit to help that, the side effects are worse to me
than the tremors. I remember how my grandfather shook and
no one ever told him he had Parkinson??™s disease. I feel a
bit of sadness when I realize that he was probably suffering
and thought no one noticed and sympathized. We did notice
because his tremors were so bad that sometimes it seemed as
though his entire body was shaking. I feel a bit of sadness
for myself too because knowing how he was up until the day
he died makes me realize that I may be just like him.
This is not a pity party for
me and I am not looking for TLC because I get that already
from the family. I am just thinking about the possibilities
of things I am facing in the future and realizing that my
grandfather??™s problem was a map of the way it may be for
me. Hopefully some medicine will help me and I won??™t be as
he was. Mickey and I have been trying to think of what I
can eat that won??™t taste like cardboard (that is the way
food tastes to me right now). Everything either of us
mentions is not the answer. I am going to make a huge bowl
of jello before I go to bed because it will be cool and
refreshing to my mouth.
There is a good side to this;
I can lose some weight because if I don??™t like eating
cardboard, then I won??™t eat as much and surely that means I
will lose weight. So if someone tells me, ???I know just how
you feel???, I may just ask if they have the same problems I
have. If they say no, then I will know that they really
don??™t know. This has made me more aware of the feelings of
people I know. I have learned that I should not say, ???I
know exactly how you feel??? but instead should say, ???I don??™t
know how you feel but I sympathize with you and will pray
that things improve.??? I have survived breast cancer and
feel I have conquered that dragon. Now I will work on
surviving Parkinson??™s disease.
?© Doris B. Fandal
July 3,
2005 |
