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You could be the
next Sam Walton.
Find out by
becoming an amateur merchant. Immerse yourself in the field
of commerce.
Test the waters
of the high-paced life of the retail business world.
In heaven there
are no garage sales, that??™s why we have them here.
Why not hold your
own garage sale or yard sale (in
Europe it??™s called a metric sale) or rummage sale or tag sale?
Garage sales
stimulate the economy by circulating dust-covered, unwanted
items and pocket change.
I should warn you
that a garage sale can draw quite a crowd. Traffic problems
will worsen in your neighborhood. This is because the
garage sale signs do cause some drivers to actually obey the
speed limit.
A garage sale is
quite an experience.
I have struggled
salmon-like upstream against the throng gathered at such
lawn extravaganzas. I felt like William Hung sounds.
Yes, I have been
to over two garage sales in my life, so in my circle, I am
considered an expert in this area.
I am so
knowledgeable in this regard that I am able to tell the
difference between a garage sale and a trash pickup.
The trash is
closer to the curb.
I should caution
any neophytes to this arena that rarely is an actual garage
offered for sale.
Why would anyone
go to a garage sale?
The people
running the sales are laid back salespersons. They are like
telemarketers who don??™t care if you buy anything.
The main reason
folks go to garage sales is to pick up items for their own
future garage sales.
It??™s a vicious
cycle.
Collector??™s items
in mint conditions are rarer than someone with all his or
her teeth appearing on the Jerry Springer Show. A yard sale
has very little in common with Antiques Roadshow.
There is little
difference between antiques and garbage. There is a fine
line between collectibles and junk. Many items cross the
line. What is junk to one person is a collectible to
another.
The poet Rumi
said, ???Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.???
You will find
something you will be unable to do without at a garage sale.
Even if you don??™t
want it, your wallet will. Money has a mind of its own.
Who doesn??™t need
another crippled toaster or a radio missing all its knobs?
Who could have
too many pepper shakers? Or faded T-shirts with the name of
some long defunct softball team? Or a coffee pot missing
its lid and electrical cord?
Who wouldn??™t
enjoy a search for an unopened can of Billy Beer amongst all
of the plaid clothing and unused exercise equipment?
There are cults
that frequent garage sales. One that I am aware of is a
group of people who think Kenny G is good. There are always
a lot of CDs available at garage sales. People bought the
CDs in a CD part of town.
Scratched vinyl
records are a staple at garage sales. Bad music and one hit
wonders abound.
There are stacks
of National Geographic magazines stretching to the lowest
hanging cloud. If you accumulate a large enough collection
of National Geographics, you will never be able to change
addresses again.
Commemorative
coffee mugs galore, K-tel and Ronco devices that were
available only by offers on TV, cracked crock pots, toilet
seats, aged toothbrushes and bald chia pets. Each of these
prizes are available eleventh-hand.
The most
interesting items to me are those offered for sale that no
one has any idea what they are.
The items offered
at a garage sale have a longer shelf-life than a Twinkie.
There are lots of
optimistic people in the world.
We not only sell
things that are of no possible use to anyone, we buy the
stuff.
My concern is
that someday selling things on eBay will take the place of
garage sales.
There are people
who are addicted to eBay.
There are 16
million auctions on eBay each day now.
That??™s a lot of
useless items that could just as well be offered at garage
sales.
Everything has a
price. Not everything has a value.
People love a
garage sale.
A divorced friend
tells me that she goes in order to meet men. If she sees
someone buying the same things she is at a garage sale, he
might be worth dating.
We go to garage
sales to buy back the things we got rid of.
Where else would
we be able to find a completely useless item for only a
quarter?
?©Al Batt 2004
71622 325 St.
Hartland, MN 56042
SnoEowl@aol.com
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