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Ripplemakers |
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Air
Conditioning
by
Al Batt |
I grew up in an era that was pretty much
air conditioning-free. Oh, you could
crawl into the old car, roll down all
the windows and head down the road at
about 40 miles per hour. That felt sort
of like air conditioning-if you
stretched your imagination to its
outermost boundaries. If you stuck your
head out the window, it felt even more
like air conditioning. The problem was
that it was hard to get most houses to
move up to 40 miles per hour. The old
farmhouse I slept in was a local hot
spot in the summertime. Hot air rises
and it all found its way into my
upstairs bedroom.
Sleep was scheduled for every
night-weather permitting. Those hot,
humid nights made sleep nearly
impossible. The screen windows were in
place in order to invite in any breeze
that may have found its way to our farm.
Few did on those still and stuffy
nights. The screens gave me something to
listen to while I couldn't sleep as they
let in the night sounds of katydids,
owls and raccoons. The only other thing
that came in through the windows was
more hot air. I would spend most of the
night turning my pillow over and over
again, in an attempt to find the cool
side. There are few pleasures greater
than a cool pillow on a hot night. There
were nights when I would spin that
pillow like a top before realizing that
there was no cool side to be found.
Pillow failure, I called it.
As sleep avoided me, I kept telling
myself that it wasn't the heat, it was
the humidity, but it didn't help a bit.
When I did manage to fall asleep, I
dreamed pleasant thoughts of a life of
being a resident of an igloo. My mother,
bless her heart, would put ice into a
dishpan and then turn on an electric fan
so that it would blow the cool air from
the melting ice in my direction. It may
sound silly today, but it really helped.
We usually had only the one fan that had
to be shared by all in the family. We
would use that fan until it became so
noisy that no one could sleep while it
was running. If the heat and humidity
became even more unbearable, my mother
would wet the sheet on my bed. Of
course, I was perfectly capable of
wetting my own sheets. My mother would
tell me that if I would think of a cold
winter day, it would make me feel cool.
Actually, this kind of worked,
especially if I pretended that I was
living in an igloo.
On hot days that included baling hay, I
would put my cap in the refrigerator
whenever I came into the house. My
mother said it was all in my head, but I
liked the coolness being on my head. On
the rare days that we went to town, I
loved spending time in the meat
department of the grocery store. It was
always cool there. After a short stay, I
would have to leave the store. I began
to feel guilty about not buying anything
and the guy slicing the meat would begin
to give me dirty looks.
Now the air conditioner was invented
over 100 years ago, but it was kept a
secret from my family and most everyone
that we knew. Today, just about everyone
has air conditioning. It changes things.
People used to sit on front porches and
front steps. This kept them cooler and
allowed them to watch the world go by.
These were places where folks relaxed
and told their stories. They waved at
passerbys. They used to drink a lot more
lemonade than we do today. I don't know
which was better, drinking the stuff or
pressing the cool glass against a
sweating forehead. My wife and I have
central air in our house and air
conditioning in our vehicles. The air in
our car works so well, that when the
refrigerator broke, we put all the stuff
from the fridge into the car. I turned
the air conditioning on to the maximum
and nothing was any worse for the wear.
Air conditioning spoils a person. I
notice the heat much more than I did
back in the days when my belt overlapped
a bunch. One day, I found myself
thinking that it would be nice if my
push lawn mower was equipped with air
conditioning. Without air conditioning
our lives would be different. No one
could blame his or her cracking voice on
the air conditioning. Politicians and
their fancy business suits would only
show up for work on cool days. CEOs
would keep their hands in their own
pockets on hot, sticky days. The price
of land with shade on it would
skyrocket.
I like air conditioning. It makes life
easier. Just don't fool with the
temperature controls too much. Resist
the temptation to turn the cold air way
up. I am speaking from experience. Do
not do it, but if you do, please let me
know an easy way to get my tongue off my
cold living room wall.
?ŠAl Batt 2002
Hartland, MN 56042
SnoEowl @ aol.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessings to you.
Bob Johnston
Minneapolis
Starfish @ Ripplemaker.com
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