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Well, my old man??™s not cheap; he??™s
just practical. That??™s what I tell
myself anyway. He came home from work,
the day after Valentines Day, with a big
red heart-shaped box of candy. He had a
Safeway sack in his hands, containing
the box and a bag of bite size pink
wrapped Milky-Ways, and red-foiled
Nestle Heart Crunch pieces. He was also
toting a big wide grin on his face.
Bills usual comment on Valentines Day
is, "I didn??™t get you any candy
honey, cause I knew you were on a
diet."
Well, fifty pounds ago that very well
may have been true, but I??™m telling
you folks, this old gal has long ago
even forgot how to spell the word
d..i..e..t!
Now, Bill has always been tall and
slender till he developed a potbelly. He
has these long legs and arms and still
gives the impression he??™s thin if you
don??™t catch him in a side view. He has
never had to watch a bite he put in his
mouth. His eating habits have changed
somewhat though over the years since we??™ve
been married.
I??™ve always had a sweet tooth, I
won??™t deny it; it??™s a well-exposed
fact anyway. You can??™t conceal the
obvious. Even when I was skinny, I??™d
by-pass the meat and potatoes any day
for a piece of Blackberry cobbler. When
I was a little thing still at home my
step-dad would tease me, "Betty,
you can??™t ever tell when you??™re
sick, you always manage to make it to
the table." Yep, no one ever had to
worry about me having anorexia. Nope, I??™ve
always liked to eat??¦. but I??™ve not
always been fat. Those things tend to
catch up with you when you have to start
spending your days on a three wheel
motorized scooter.
Now when we first got married Bill??™s
idea of a snack was a can of Sardines
and Saltine Crackers. Or often he??™d
eat a bowl of plain Jell-O. But that??™s
when he had a size 30-inch waist and his
pants hung on his hipbones. Today his
eating habits have changed somewhat and
his cravings lean away from sardines.
He works close to a Safeway grocery
store and he can often be found in the
bakery or candy sections of the
establishment. You can usually find his
stash hid away in the car, at work or
high on a shelf somewhere here at the
house. He??™s not greedy he??™s just
wants to keep temptation away from me or
anyone else that maybe eyeballing his
stockpile. He is handy enough to the
store and visits it frequently enough
that he doesn??™t miss any goodies that
fail to be sold for their designated
target date. We had just finished up his
half price red and green Christmas
wrapped goodies when he walked in the
door with the big red heart. He knew he
was going to have a problem concealing
it and he knew if I found it hidden away
somewhere I might assume he was masking
more than a box of candy! Thus the
reason for his pretense that he was
bringing ME a box of candy. We both knew
whom the candy was for. Since I had not
bought him any he was buying it truthful
for himself ??“ thus the grin on his
face! He knows when he??™s caught!
We??™re always a season behind eating
candy, but as I said he??™s not cheap,
he??™s just practical. You??™d have
thought his box of Whitman??™s
Chocolates was Cee??™s or Godiva??™s the
way he pointed out the brand!
These heart shaped goodies should
last us maybe till after the Easter
surplus is marked half price. Then I
hope there is a lot left over because it
will be a long dry, hungry spell this
summer with no holiday goodies left over
on the stores shelves. Well, maybe that
will be a good time to start that diet I
should be on. I have a notion along
about August I will be scavenging
through the closets and looking high on
the shelves for some of Bill??™s stash.
Then when he goes looking for his
stockpile I??™ll be the one grinning! I
sure hope after forty-five years of
marriage that half-priced candy doesn??™t
equal half-amount love!
Copyright 2002, ?© Betty King
Betty King has a new book released; you
can view it at her website www.betty.newsmoose.com.
She also has a story coming out in
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter
Soul, March 18th. Baking2@charter.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessings to you.
Bob Johnston
Minneapolis
Starfish @ Ripplemaker.com
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