It
was not long before Christmas Day and I had decided to go shopping. Can you
say, ???Stress???? No, it wasn??™t me this time, I was simply out to run a few
errands and to enjoy the day since my family had already had an early
Christmas together. It was just that I noticed a lot of anxious people in
the aisles of the stores and I thought I would warn you.
It
was one of those days when I felt like I had a sign on my forehead that
said, ???Ask me a question???. I don??™t know why but when I go shopping
strangers talk to me, and this day was no exception. It was like the time
when I went to the grocery store and a young woman I had never seen before
asked me ???Do you know where the ???Tar-Tar??? is???? I thought perhaps it was
some new fangled game or baby toy that she was talking about so I asked her
to repeat the name.
???Tar-Tar,??? she pronounced the word slowly as if somehow her emphasizing the
word would cause me to understand. ??? I don??™t know what it is,??? she
continued, ???but I have a recipe that calls for cream of Tar-Tar,??? she added.
???Oh, cream
of tartar!??? I exclaimed. ???It??™s over with the spices,??? I informed her, as I
finally understood what it was that she needed. She was just pronouncing it
the way that she had read it because she was unfamiliar with the word and
she had forgotten the whole name. I could have told her that back in high
school my chemistry teacher, Mr. Frazee, would have called it
potassium hydrogen
tartrate. However, it sounds kind of sinister to say, ???I believe I??™ll add a
bit of potassium hydrogen tartrate to the meringue on this pie I??™m making.???
Yes, today seemed to be another one of those days. I was meandering through
the jewelry department when an older lady with a look of concern on her face
turned to me and said, ???Excuse me, could I ask your opinion????
Maybe it was from the trauma of raising teenagers but those words just
sounded like music to my ears. ???Well, sure!??? I responded with excitement at
the thought that someone wanted my opinion. At the same time, I was still a
bit hesitant as I still had those teen years on my mind and I couldn??™t help
but wonder if maybe she was going to ask me for my car keys.
The lady continued, ??? I want to buy a watch for my 16 year old grandson,
which one would you buy???? she said as she thrust about six different watches
in front of me to choose from. She added, ???I would ask my husband but he
got tired of helping me make decisions and went to another part of the
store,??? she sighed.
???Wouldn??™t you know it,??? I thought. Husbands like to wait and see how the
gift is accepted. If the boy raves over the gift, it is all the husband??™s
idea. If the boy seems a bit hesitant in his praise, the husband says, ???I
told your Grandma that you wouldn??™t like it. That??™s not the one I would
have chosen.???
Well, I gave the lady my opinion and she seemed relieved because I had
agreed with her own choice and maybe if things didn??™t turn out well on
Christmas morning she could always say, ???That dumb lady I saw in the store
suggested that watch, I knew all along it wasn??™t the one you would like.???
However, I felt pretty good about that encounter so I walked on down
another aisle and before long I found myself in the toy department. I
noticed a young redheaded girl who kept pacing back and forth in the aisle.
Finally, she turned to me and said, ???I am just SO stressed! I have been
looking for over an hour for something for my nephew. What do you get a
6-year-old boy with tons of energy? What do you think I should get???? She
looked at me with eyes that pleaded for me to have an answer. I quickly
blurted out, ???A sled??¦. get him a sled!??? I don??™t know what made me say that
except that I was standing there in front of the sleds. She looked relieved
and said, ???Oh, thank you so much!???
I
decided it was time I got away from the toy department so I walked on over
to the bath and cosmetic area. Just as I arrived, a middle-aged lady was
looking at a tester for foaming shower soap. She looked at the bottle,
sniffed it, and held it up to spray a bit of it on her hand. All at once a
sudsy spray sputtered and exploded from the bottle and went all over her.
She was covered from head to toe in bits of foamy soap spattered haphazardly
across her body. She looked like she had just been in a terrible snowball
fight and lost! She let out a yell and said, ???I guess I shouldn??™t have done
that!??? Everyone was staring at her, including me. I wondered if there
might be a candid camera somewhere and if this was all going to be on the
evening news. I tried hard to control my amusement as I helped her brush
off the soap. I couldn??™t wait to turn down a different aisle where I pulled
the collar of my coat up over my face, trying to muffle my voice so she
couldn??™t hear me as I exploded into laughter. It wasn??™t that I was laughing
at the lady??™s misfortune; I was just relieved that for once I wasn??™t the one
that was the victim of some wild calamity!
The unsuspecting shoppers looked at me and then looked around to see what
could be so funny in the pharmacy aisle that could cause such hysterical
laughter. About that time, I bumped into a stack of vitamins and knocked
them over. People were moving aside, giving me plenty of room in front of
the pharmacy pick up window, probably thinking that I might be in dire need
and in a hurry to pick up a prescription for sedatives.
I
just thought I??™d warn you and let you know to be careful. It can be
dangerous out there. There are a lot of people shopping this time of year
and anything can happen! You never know when you might get spattered with
soap or put on the spot to help choose a gift for someone. Oh, but if you
do find that you need some cream of Tar-Tar, let me know because I can tell
you exactly where to find it.
By
Pamela Perry Blaine
?© December 2005
