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I often
tell our friends about all the wildlife around our
homestead. I mean the snakes, and the bunnies, and
squirrels, and skunks, and of course all the hawks and
hummingbirds. All fine and dandy to observe through the
chain length fence from our modest backyard patio, right?
Well, it was a Friday night, mid July, and I came home from
my swing shift as usual, about midnight. My husband, Mark,
was asleep on the sofa, (no, he wasn't "in the doghouse" ...
just dozed off watching TV).
The following day (Saturday) was his birthday, so my
youngest teen, Alisha, had baked a cake. I frosted it when I
got home and placed Mark's presents on the kitchen table so
he would be surprised in the morning. Alisha and Jason, my
oldest, were also fast asleep.
So, still very wide-awake, I decided to top off the
"birthday decor'" with a few cut roses from our garden in
the front yard. Mark had become quite the gardener and so I
knew he would appreciate it. Anyway, I took his brand new
rose pruners and headed out the front door at about 1:30 am.
After finding a few
blooms in our garden by the driveway, I ventured across the
lawn to the other strip of bushes. Spotting a beauty of a
red rose, I snipped it to add to the others in my hand.
At that moment, I heard a sort of rustling noise in front of
me, but in the darkness could only make out what appeared to
be a huge cat. But it wasn't a cat. Almost instantly, there
was a hissing sort of sound. There he was -- only three feet
in front of me -- with his bushy tail spreading wide and
spraying me! I
yelled, "SKUNK!"
I ran screaming across the yard, and as I turned at the
front brick pillar and onto the walkway leading to our front
door, ANOTHER one is waiting for me and shoots me a good
one! This one is only two feet away from the point of impact
and I'm still screaming (yes, my mouth is open) and running
for the safety of
the house.
Of course, birthday boy woke up from his slumber and my
daughter came racing down the stairs. There I was -- pruners
in one hand, roses in the other and crying, "SKUNKS! SKUNKS!
I got tag teamed by two skunks!" Well, the smell accompanied
me into the house, and so chaos set in immediately, along
with some chuckles from my daughter, while she frantically
called her friend for help and advise.
Mark was half-awake now, and trying to get his bearings and
assess the situation. I threw down the roses and pruners in
my hands and ran to the laundry area in our garage, stripped
off my work clothes, threw them in the washer on hot, and
stood there, stark naked, begging for "SOMEONE to get me a
towel?"
Mark threw me one, encouraging me to "Please stay put!"
I finally got to the tub. Alisha, phone in hand, brought me
cans and cans of tomato sauce to cover myself from head to
toe -- tongue and nose too -- ugh!! I was cold, crying and
miserable. Mark was running around spraying the front of the
house down with the hose to dissipate the stink.
Soon the fans were going, the candles were lit, and the
potpourri and Carpet Fresh mixed with the horrid stench! And
the nightmare went on until nearly 5:30 am, when we began to
sense some relief.
By then, I had washed my clothes with Downey about four
times and had showered off the tomato sauce, but not after
snorting it up my nose several times! I also had to snort
water up as well to get the sauce out, nearly drowning
myself!
Alisha told me later that she had to keep leaving the
bathroom for fear of the nightmares she might have after
seeing me choking and crying and sitting naked in the tub
covered with red tomato sauce, which looked like blood! As
sympathetic as she was, it was still somewhat of an episode
out of "I Love Lucy" and she couldn't help laughing out
loud.
Finally, I was calmed down, and trying to get the horrid
taste out of my mouth with toothpaste and baking soda and
lemons and coffee and Listerine -- anything we could think
of! Mark had hosed and sprayed and we were out on the back
patio, when all of a sudden we thought, "Where is Jason?"
So we went down the hall, opened his door, and the now
familiar scent that had gotten trapped in his room hit us
all over again! He had slept through the whole thing!
Anyway, all is well and back to normal at the Boda homestead
these days, and it is just a fleeting aroma in our minds,
along with quite a few laughs of course. I have since been
sent emails that have educated me on skunk attack prevention
and cures. I have also been nicknamed, Peppy, Flower and
Stinky.
Needless to say, I will never again watch the movie, Bambi,
with the same fondness for that sweet little character,
FLOWER ... if you get my drift?
(c) 2003 Ginger Boda
Rhymerbabe @ aol.com
July 2000 |
