Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness around the world.

August 14, 2006

Today’s announcements

Good Morning to you all...

It has now been 72 hours since my surgery.  I feel I am coming along great!  Praise the Lord!

I want to send along many thanks to each one of you for your prayers and your kindnesses. It has been much appreciated!

You are all in my most precious thoughts and prayers. 

I thank God for each one of you! Barbara Weymouth: weymouth@surewest.net

Now onto the good stuff!

Today’s Queue Stories

~**~**~

How to Train Your Human
Charlie Wersterfer
(with help from Clara Wersterfer)


 
When you first acquire your human, it is a big help if you are a cute
little puppy. Not that you can't still train them once you reach
doghood, but it takes longer. They
expect more from an adult than a puppy.

 
Humans train easier if you give them lots of big ole sloppy wet
kisses to reward them when they get it right. When I arrived at my
forever home, I was
a cutie, weighing in at two pounds and
eight weeks old. Brown and white spotted like a Pinto pony, plus giving
lots of kisses made me an attractive package. Now, once you have gotten
this far, the
next step is in basic training.


 First you have to learn to bark when you want them to do something for
you. Remember, while barking, wag the tail and look happy. If you have
no tail, wag the butt.
If you want to go out, run to the door and look back to see if the
human understands you want out. If he/she does not follow you, return to
them and then
run to the door. They will soon catch on unless they are dumber than
rocks.

 
If you are on the sofa and want down, you must yip as loud as possible
until some
one comes to help you down. Look happy
and run in circles when placed on the floor. Give big kisses.


 Some nights your bladder won't make it
thu the night. Here's what to do. Gently lick your human on the cheek or
forehead. Give little kisses. Do not bark as humans get irritated when
awaked from a deep
sleep with barking. If the kisses do not work, scratch ever so slightly
on the
covers until they awaken.


 
The best way to get fed from the table is to sit beside the person that
feeds you
and look pitiful. You may bark softly once just to let them know you are
there, cock
your little head to the side and look as happy and expectant as
possible. If this doesn't work, then you may nag a little
more with another bark and sitting up on your rear. This usually gets
you a reward.
When you want a lap to sit on, try whining, laying on your back and
looking cute.

 
Remember it takes a lot of patience to
train humans. Some of them do not
catch on right away and you must repeat
things over and over. Don't give up, they will eventually learn to
recognize what
you want by the sound of your voice. They do not understand doggie lingo
but rather the inflection you put on barks, yips, yelps and whining.
Keep at it
until you have them under your paw
and performing on command.
Hope this is helpful to someone out there. 2006

Clara Westerfer

cbWEST@webtv.net

~**~**~

Troubled Times

Bill Walker

wildbill6807@yahoo.com

We live in troubled times.  Our fathers and mothers, lived in troubled times.  Their fathers and mothers, also lived in troubled times. We can go all the way back to the beginning, there will be troubled times.  Maybe I should say all most to the beginning.  Adam and Eve screwed up a perfect. We can say things were great till that one day.   Adam blames woman Eve for it all, she was handy.  We all know it was Adam’s fault.  Woman is always right, just ask one. “I told you to go right, but no you went left.”  Would make no difference, you went wrong way way back there some where. I think it was the day you popped that dumb question and you’ve been in trouble ever since then.  Most guys get to the point if something comes up like “do I need a haircut, better ask the little lady first.”

Anyways there are troubles, just any time you turn around.  Mankind works at making troubles.  We read anywhere, anytime there is a war going on somewhere in the world.  May just be a small thing just a border war of some sort.  Maybe the river was the line.. But one day for some unknown reason the river takes changes it’s path.  Maybe it cuts off a mile or two, throwing people in one country into next door.  Nebraska and Iowa had a fuss about that years back.  I have never figured it out.  But there is a bit of Missouri on the west side of the Missouri river over at St. Joe but you got to go into Kansas to get to it.  Wonder them blasted Red Legs don't charge toll to get there. Bet they haven't thought of it yet, dad gum side winders.

This tribe of people don't like that tribe over there.  I guess it is in the Bible that someone said it was. It says it is OK to go over the border and take home people to be called slaves.  Now you can't do that with your home grown one you got to trot over the border.  Now you’re taking a chance doing this. You may find yourself in slavery.  Most men know all about that. That I do stuff. Man went out one day thinking he needed a woman to do the housework. Ha she had ideas of her own. That was one reason why he made a trip across the border. Get a slave to do the work; he was getting tired of hearing about how hard she works in the house.  I do hope the girls don't take all this hog wash to heart.  I got to try to make a little joke or no one will read this trash.

If you look at history, mankind works hard at troubles. Both getting into trouble and getting out of trouble. Ever basted war was caused or started over some stupid thing.

Now I am going to take one war and show you how stupid it was. A major war, not some little border fuss. 

I am going to give you two wars for the price of one.  Major wars.  The World was at WAR.  Just about every nation had a stake in these wars some way, some how.

World War One came about because of stupid.  The Arch Duke and Mrs. Dukee went for a visit to another country.   There was a reason.  She wanted to go shopping.  Another joke. There were no real friendly relations between these to pint size countries.  But we go and make a splash there, and relations get better.  Well it didn't happen.  Duke and Mrs. Dukee get in way of a bullet, fired from a gun by a total nut.  Both killed.   You can forget the friendly relations now.  Words fly back and forth, next thing you know both nations are at war. In the matter of hours, at most a couple days we got bigger nations jumping in on one side or the other. World War One breaks out.  Millions of people paid the price of that damn war that was caused by three nit wits meeting up; one with a gun.

Did World War One end?  No, there was a paper signed.. We agreed to stop shooting at one another.  Germany and their friends was in a way, the beat nation.  They agreed to terms laid down. The terms were mean, and nasty.  The mean hate that was handed out by both ENGLAND and FRANCE, did nothing but bring a guy by the name of Hitler to power. I say England and France because the President of the United States. Woodrow Wilson tried to reason with them.  They would have no part of it. He came home a broken man, knowing full well some day we will have to go it all over again.

Then we had World War Two. It was just a pick up of World War One.  This time there was an ending.  There were no terms.  It was simple, we won, they lost. After the paper was signed, the German Generals thought there would be a round of booze, and pats on the back, and say OK, we go home and meet again say in 20 years and have another go at it. Well that didn't happen, some found themselves behind bars waiting to meet with a judge for WAR CRIMES. 

We are living in troubled times once again. Really when you think about it.. Most any time is TROUBLED TIMES.   The Bible does say there will be wars and troubles to the very end. There will be storms, earthquakes, and other things to happen.  Some are man made, some are made some say by God.  Some say that other guy.  I think maybe mankind helps that other guy a lot in our troubles.

I noticed what I was doing a few moments ago and almost burst out laughing.  I had to write this down.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.  Might not even be funny but I think it is my attempt at humor.

Bill Walker

wildbill6807@yahoo.com

~**~**~

Poetry Section

~**~**~

In One’s Lifetime

Janice Bumbalough Marler

In one’s lifetime,

If we are fortunate,

We meet that special friend,

The one who means to us the most,

But for reasons, known only to God,

Time and circumstance
Separates them;

Their friendship is lost

But never forgotten

How could we forget the laughter,

The tears, the elation’s, the prayers,

The secrets we shared?

Not even time can erase

Those precious memories

But per chance,

We meet again,

And the toils that life has

Heaped upon us

Has not changed who we are

Deep down inside

We will meet once again

If not on earth,

Then in heaven,

Where friendships

Always abide.

© Janice Bumbalough Marler

June 14, 2006

Poetrybyjan@aol.com

poetrybyjan@msn.com

~**~**~

My Crown

Joan Clifton Costner

I dreamed I had stepped into Heaven,

And Oh! What a glorious sight!

Ten billion highlights to gaze on

With never a hint of night!

The people were radiantly happy -

Not even the word "sin" was known -

Beautiful homes on the hillside -

And one of them was my own!

Then the angels came praising my goodness -

(It was Jesus’ imputed to me!)

And they placed on my head gold and diamonds -

A beautiful crown to see!

We walked down the main street of Glory,

Singing our anthems of praise;

Till we stopped at the great throne of Jesus

And all of our hands were raised.

There is beauty we see with our natural eyes,

But His beauty was all the way through -

If any could lift Him up higher...

A thing we would all like to do.

Others had crowns of rare beauty..

Jewels so rare and discrete,

And as one we cast our beautiful crowns

So they rested at Jesus’ feet.

The crowns stood for the best we could offer -

And He looked with love in His eyes,

For no one had kept their beautiful crown -

All were given to Him as His prize!

He gathered them lovingly to Him...

He touched with grace every one!

Then He passed through the great crowd of siblings....

He had fought, He had loved,...He had won!

Joan Clifton Costner

jody@ptsi.net

http://underhiswings0.tripod.com
http://www.heavenlypoetry.com

Readers Feedback

Dear Carol,

I am so very proud of you!! You have accomplished so much in the last year and particularly in the past four months. Wow and Wow! With your inner strength and the help of God you are going to be alright. A good job will come along and your bumpy road will smooth out.

May God continue to richly bless you.

Barb Roney

Congrats on the completion!!! Keep facing those challenges and something will come your way!

I haven't had any lick with the cat flea control. Every one I asked is pretty much tapped out. Sorry. Will keep looking.

I notice you said you did freelance for money. How do you get started in that? That's what I'm looking for, or a paying proof reading job from home. I doubt I'll be physically able to return to work anytime soon, and really need a little extra income because of Little Bit's medical bills. I'd appreciate any info you can share.

Thanks

Arlene

Senior Writers

Chief writer: Sharon Bryant

Chief researcher/historian: Hartson Dowd

Agee, Vance; Apted, Violet; Baker, Kathy; Batt, Al; Berry, Nell; Blaine, Pamela; Boda, Ginger; Booher, Paula; Buhagiar, Victor; Cassady, B.J.; Costner, Joan Clifton; Cavalera, Robyn; Crider, Mark; Dees, Mary; Deming, Barb; Doherty, Maria;  Dowd, Hartson; Dowd, Helen; Gilbert, Robert, Jr.; Gold, Ron; Goodier, Steve; Grisham, Mary-Ellen; Braun-Haley, Ellie; Harris, Kathy Anne; Henry, Linda Ann; Hunt, Sharlett; Hymes, Christina; Jacobson, Gary; Kiser, Roger Dean; Kerens, Claudia; Kevin, Tim; Jenkins, Pamela; Liles, Norma; Lily Jodi Flesberg; Lock, Joyce; Marlor, Janice Bumbalough; Mazzella, Joe; Mizrany, Mary Carter; Morris, Deepak; Ojeibge, Georgewaters; Petry, Dianna Doles; Roberts, Susan; Shiveley, Debra; Shaw, Bob; Sims, Richard; Streidel, Saskia; Swarner, Ken; Vaknin, Sam; Verhoeff, Jan; Walker, Bill; Walker, Joe; Warner, Gordon, K; Walsh, Sue; Weymouth, Barbara J.; Whirity, Kathy;

Wainland, David; Westerfer, Clara; White Robert;

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