Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Contest Special  – Ina Townsend Young

January 16, 2007

Just Some of Today’s Stress

Ina Townsend Young

My schizophrenic ex-husband has decompensated again. He’s in the hospital

for the first time in almost 7 years.  I’d been managing his medications and

that kept him fairly

stable for awhile. This is a daunting task.  I had passed this job on to our adult

children when I moved 40 miles away and they struggled with it.  I hadn’t

checked up on him like I used to and I feel some guilt related to this.  I’m

trying to let it go.

He ran out of his antipsychotics and no one was aware.  He started hearing

voices again.  The delusions of his mind being read are overwhelming.  He’s

developed olfactory hallucinations and this is new for him.  States he hasn’t

slept in 5 days.  Not eating or drinking very much.  Paranoid.  Anxiety ridden.

I’m sure he hasn’t bathed or shaved in some time.  It’s hard enough to get

him to tend to his hygiene when he’s stable.  When he’s like this, it’s a lost cause.

What makes this a bit more difficult is that when he’s hospitalized, it’s on

my floor at work.  I know he’ll get the best care possible there.  He’ll get

preferential treatment because he’s Ina’s Schizophrenic Ex-Husband.  This is

a bonus for all of us involved with his care, but it’s still hard for me.  It’s hard

to see him when he’s like this.  I’m dreading it immensely.  When he’s at his

sickest is when I see who he used to be.  I remember how good looking he was.

He’s now disheveled, unkempt, unshaven.  He’s about 100 lbs. heavier due to

psych meds.  I remember his great sense of humor.  All he can talk about now is

“Them”.  How “They” are after him.  “They” want to hurt me and the kids, too.

I remember the large social circle we had; how we were always being invited to

one function or another and hosting many of them ourselves.  He’s terrified of

people, now.  We’ll be lucky to get him out of his room in the hospital.  I have

no doubt that when I see him at work, I’ll burst into tears and have to be consoled

by my co-workers.  Thank God for them.

I’ll find new ways to blame myself for part of this and be talked down by my

loved ones.  My kids will all find ways to blame themselves, also.  I passed the

guilt gene on to all of them. My oldest daughter has already started.  She thinks

she’s going to take on his care single-handedly.  That’s not going to happen.  He

needs to have more involvement from the community mental health center that

he’s hooked up with.  She can’t do it.  She has to start being his daughter, not

his sitter.  She’s mad at me for giving her this bit of information this morning and

she’s ready to butt heads with me.  More stress, but I’ll deal with her later.

Ina Townsend Young

mimisuzy127@yahoo.com