Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness around the world.

Carol’s Corner

Feb 17, 2007

Valentines Day With Three Old Men

Carol Roach

I recently wrote about the paper valentine cutouts we all received as children in elementary school.  In my day, many children were disappointed because only the popular students benefited from the exchange. There were unpopular kids who never got any at all; getting one from the teacher did not count, she gave to everyone. Yet, we were taught that Valentines Day was all about love.

We were too young to understand the romantic side of love in relationship to Valentines Day, but we were not immune to what we saw in magazines and on TV.  By the time I was 12, I saved my allowance to buy my grandmother chocolates on Valentines Day.  I always loved to give and show my love.

The peer pressure mounted in high school when again the popular girls boasted about the boxed chocolates, perfume, or flowers they received from their boyfriends on this “love day.”  My friend Maxine and I just listened; as life and love seemed to be passing us by.  Maxine was the type of person to take it all in stride, while I seethed with envy.  Here I was 16 year old, and I never had a boyfriend .  I felt so unloved and unwanted. 

Life did get better; by the time I was 20 I had a boyfriend who proposed to me on Valentines Day.  We didn’t need a big engagement party; we didn’t have the money for it anyhow. We did have love and we had each other.  The mighty arrow of Cupid finally caught us both and I was the happiest person in the world. Unfortunately, cupid’s potion wore off and I was divorced four years later.

In total, I spent 23 years alone without a real Valentine Day’s celebration.  I longed for cupid’s arrow to once again penetrate my heart.  During all that time, the closest I came happened the last year of my Master’s program.  I spent Valentines Day with three old men; Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates.  I had to write a philosophy paper, and Valentines Day was just as good a day as any other to work on it.  I did not have any hot plans with a handsome man to be happy about.  It had been many years since any man cared about me in that special way.

The following year in 1998, I did have a boyfriend for a short time; the time was so short that I am embarrassed to mention it.  We were dating for exactly three weeks when Valentines Day rolled around.  I waited patiently all day to hear from him, and when I didn’t, I started calling his cell phone.  Finally he returned my call at 11:00 that evening, to tell me that he was up at his cottage, north of Montreal. 

The weather was so bad that his water pipes broke.  I was disgusted, upset, and very hurt. Since we were dating for such a short period of time, I felt he would want to be with me at all cost.  I also felt that I did not know him well enough yet to determine if his story was true or not. We argued over the phone and one thing lead to another, resulting in the termination of our relationship that evening. just before Valentines Day was officially over.  Ironically, while some people find their love on Valentines Day, I lost mine.

In 1999, I met Matt who became the love of my life.  Matt remembers all my special occasions: Christmas, New Years, my birthday.  But more importantly he remembers me everyday of the year.  He loves me. He shows it all the time; not just Valentines Day.  He taught me that everyday is Valentines Day between lovers.

The childish ideas of love are behind me now.  I embrace the mature feelings of real love this Valentines Day, and every other day of the year.

Carol Roach

winterose@videotron.ca

A Native of Montreal, Quebec, Carol is a graduate of Concordia, and McGill University.  She holds a bachelor in psychology and a Masters in counselling psychology.  Carol Roach is a published writer and newsletter editor.  You can purchase her book: Picking up the Pieces: A Woman's Journey at www.publishamerica.com, or www.amazon.com.  You can also go to your local bookstore and order it there as well.  Be sure to quote the isbn number: 1-4137-1921-X for local purchases:  Carol’s second book: Angels Watching Over is currently looking for a home. Stay tuned for details. 

If you are interested in other stories feel free to join her newsletter: Storytime Tapestry at: http://subs.zinester.com/98907 , or email her directly at winterose@videotron.ca and she will be glad to accommodate you.  Carol enjoys email and responds to every inquiry.