Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Special Treat – Cheryl Williams

March 27, 2007

The Way of Love

Cheryl Williams

Wow.  What a pull love has on us.  We long for it.  We crave it.  Whatever image the word "love" conjures up in the mind of each individual comes from his deepest desire.  Some people will do anything for love.  I was one of those people.

Yes, I was someone who craved love.  Not only did I long to give love, I longed to receive love.  My image of love was always the hearts and flowers kind of love...the kind of love that Valentine's Day celebrates.  I wanted it all.  I wanted some guy to obsess about me, shower me with gifts, bring me flowers, write me poetry, and serenade me with love songs.  I dreamed about this and wrote poem after poem about the "ideal" love.

Did I ever find this "ideal" love?  No.  But I spent hour after hour, and year after year searching.  I dated many men, and I compromised almost every moral value I possess in my search.  I kept reassessing my expectations, thinking perhaps they were too high.  As a result, I found myself in situations doing things I did not really want to do, in the hopes that I would be "loved". And during those moments when I was with a man, I felt loved, even if it was for only a short time.

But a realization came to me after many years.  When I was not with a man, I did not feel loved, nor did I feel good about myself.  Hmmm, rather interesting.  This realization forced me to understand that I did not love myself.  And this love I received from others was what I needed to feel good about myself.  I thought back to things I had done all in the name of love.  i had shared my body when I didn't really want to.  I had given up my own opinions and always agreed with others because a part of me believed my opinions were not worth anything.  It had actually gotten to the point where I did not even know who I was anymore.  My identity had always been so wrapped up in the identity of the man I was with.  And then I realized that the person I was allowing these men to see was not even a real person, but an imposter.  So I decided to work on getting to know myself better.  And in this process, I also decided to not hide the real me from the world.

In getting to know myself, I had to get to know God.  I could feel Him pulling on my heart.  And since I was so in need of love, and since God is the author of love, where else could I possibly go?  His description of perfect love (1 Corinthians: 13) is a description of His love for all of His children.  I decided that if God in Heaven loved me enough to make me, He must see some value in me.  I began looking in the mirror and telling myself, "I am worthy because God made me and loves me...just as I am at this very moment."  And my attitude toward myself gradually changed.

Today I love myself.  I have my own interests.  I have my own opinions.  I have my own goals.  And they do not change to fit in with the person I love.  I am a much more interesting person now...and much more lovable.  And the best part?  When someone does love me, he is loving the REAL me, not a facsimile.

So my advice?  Fall in love, but fall in love with God, first and foremost.  When you do, more love will follow.  You will truly begin to love yourself, and others will too.

                                                               Bible Verse

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the por and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child.  I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a past reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain:  faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13)

Cheryl Williams

politicalgirl04@aol.com