Archives at Zinester: August 8, 2007 - Storytime Tapestry Contributors: Leeuna Foster; Bill Walker; Arthur Levine. Storytime

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You know you're getting older when the funniest thing about falling down is watching it happen to someone else. I've always heard that we're only as old as we feel. If that is the case, then most days I'm a fossil.

According to recent reports, our generation of seniors is getting younger. As stated by the experts, "the new forty is now age fifty-five". I wish I had come across this information a few years ago. If I had, I would still be in my thirties.

I decided to do my own research on the cause and effect of ageing. I began by conducting a public opinion poll on growing older. Actually I asked a few people on the street if they were old people. The first one hit me with her purse, another one asked if I had a dollar I could spare, and two people said "yes, we're old geezers, what's it to you!" The majority of the folks I questioned told me to mind my own business. In light of the results from this back-breaking research, I came to the conclusion that old people are mean. (Now, before you get mad and start throwing things at me, remember that sticks and stones will break my bones...)

The results are all in, and I have concluded that the number one cause of ageing is time. I don't have anything against time. Time is important. In fact I wish I had more of it. However, the fact remains that while time heals all wounds, it eventually kills us.

Time is said to be the best teacher as well, although none of its students ever live to graduate. I've learned a few things over the years. Important things like, if you give a man a deer steak you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to hunt deer for himself, he will not do a lick of work from September through February, and when four cars reach an intersection at the same time, the driver pointing the gun goes first.

After these two startling revelations, I began to ask more questions, hoping to gain that additional wisdom and knowledge which is supposed to come with age. Perhaps you too have pondered on some of the following questions, the most intriguing one being, " Where do people go on vacation if they work all year at a vacation resort? Do they go to an industrial park?" Or perhaps you've wondered why we ignore our doctor's advice, yet we plan our weekends around the weather reports from Meteorologists.

Another question begs to be answered. Did Al Gore really invent the Internet? Is that where the word, algorithm, came from...?

Ignorance is not a virtue and the only thing that improves with age is hindsight. Politics are like the weather, everybody talks about it but nobody does anything. If you want to see a cheerful giver, ask someone for their opinion. And if you look closely, those who give advice so freely usually have the IQ of a door knob.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were born with all the knowledge and wisdom of someone who has lived to be 100 years old. By the time we got around to the really big mistakes, we'd be too old to make them.

We never get too old to learn something new. In fact, I learned a new lesson just this morning. My dog knocked me down. I landed flat of my back on the hardwood floor. I immediately wrote down the following discovery in my list of things I've learned...

This is a special report, this is in honor of all animals not only for Chevy, but others that has also been murdered by low down dirt bags of humans.

These that have been so murdered, when they get here is given the real special treatment, the red carpet is rolled out for them. Chevy came up the lane too soon, it was a sad thing for all of us. Most of us are here because of sickness or we had lived our lives out on earth. Chevy and others of that kind, their lives were taken from them by mean people. Mean people that someday will have to explain to God why?

The Angels told us, not to worry, it is not for us to judge, God will take special care of those that mistreated their animals. The main defense lawyer may not be in the court room that day for the dirt bag that murdered Chevy and others like Chevy.

So the family of Chevy, your much loved Australian Shepherd, is here alive and well. We all know Crystal is sad, and misses her beloved Chevy. We hope and have asked the Angels if there isn't something we can do about people like the dirt bag that killed Chevy. We were told your earth court system will maybe deal with the matter, but in time God will take care of it here.

What this dirt bag did to Chevy is horrible, and then to do what he did to the family of Chevy is, well we were told, not to think about it. God will take care of it.

Yes Crystal, and the rest of the family. Chevy is here, the red carpet was rolled out. There is a special place all for Chevy and all the others that have been murdered. Those all have a special Angel to care for them. And that Angel will be with them till you come up the lane to take over, and give them all the love their heart and yours can hold. Some day you will be here, Chevy is waiting.

Yes Crystal, some day the thin curtain will part, you will come home to be with your beloved Chevy. Chevy will run with much joy to meet you. You will have your loving dog back to run and play with once again. You will be in the land of only good people, land of never grow old, land of never ending sunshine. Your Chevy and Jesus will welcome you home.

Work At Home Moms: So You’re Having A Baby

So you are having a baby, or have small children, or are a single parent, or are a work at home freelance writer, I know it isn’t easy. Here you are expecting and needing to be pampered and appreciated, and you have to start thinking about how you are going to earn a good income working from home and or taking care of a new baby at the same time.

As if having a baby wasn’t enough of a life-changing event, you are going to have to change the way you work, and when you work, and where you work. You are probably going to have to become an independent contractor if you want to work on your own schedule and have enough flexibility to take care of a baby at the same time.

The good part is that working from home on your own, you get to call the shots. You can be your own boss, set your own schedule, and be as creative as you want to be without some know nothing boss interfering with your latest brainstorm.

The problem is deciding what to do and how to earn a great living doing it. You probably also have to concern yourself with money. Right now it seems like it is all out go what with baby furniture, pampers, baby cloths, doctor bills, and the loss of a steady income from your prior job. You need something that requires no investment.

But there is hope. What if you could do something you really love to do, are good at, and can make money, at the same time that you are networking and socializing with friends and neighbors: something that will keep you from being lonely and feeling isolated from your former co-workers, something that will let you use your imagination while you earn lots of money.

It is possible to find something to do that will earn you a great living and give you pleasure and enjoyment at the same time. Of course nothing can compare to the happiness your baby will bring you, but sometimes you need some grown up companionship and mental stimulation even if it is by e-mail, or on the telephone.

I don’t want to keep you in suspense any longer. What you can do that you are good at, need to do, and enjoy doing, is shopping. Yes that’s right, you can make money shopping from home in your free time while you are socializing with friends and making new friends and acquaintances. It’s a win, win situation. You can do this from home by shopping on the Internet. You can take control of your own future and help provide your family with a wonderful living. You can be the boss. You can do what you are good at. Who doesn’t like to shop?

Arthur Levine is a freelance writer who specializes in work at home situations. To find out how to shop at home for a living access http://www.mypowermall.com/Biz/Home/12357

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