Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Special Treat  -  Dianna Doles Petry,

Healing Prayers are needed.

August 15, 2007

Dealing With A Breast Lump

Dianna Doles Petry

Over the last few months, my body has been experiencing changes that are normal for a forty-eight year-old woman. I started to experience warm flushes of heat that spread through my body without any notice. For someone who normally stays cold, this wasn’t bad at first. Of course, when I found myself in the middle of the supermarket staring at the ice machine the way I used to stare at a potential lover, I realized that it wasn’t all good.

My patience for ignorance and insensitivity began to slip. I’ve always been a very upbeat person and I’m prone to find something good in any situation. I have always offered support and encouragement to others and my favorite phrase, until now, was; “Tomorrow this will be nothing more than a memory.  Remember the laughter and forget the pain.” These days I am more apt to say; “Put on your big girl panties and GET OVER IT!”

I won’t even mention forgetting where I put my car keys or standing at the ATM machine for five minutes trying to remember the pin number I’ve been using for a number of years. My teenage boys like this part of my aging, they attempt to tell me things like, “Oh mom, we told you we were going to take your Jeep and pick up six other people to go bowling, don’t you remember?” Hah! I’m not that far gone, at least I don’t think I am…

Anyway, for the most part, I chalked all of these changes off to being forty-eight and probably nearing or entering the menopausal phase of my life. I am a care taker to my eighty-three year-old mother with Alzheimer’s disease and bladder cancer. I am the mother of a teenage son with a chronic health condition and a daughter trying desperately to become pregnant and hold a child of her own in her arms. I have a nephew whom I have brought up here with my son who is sixteen-years-old with a twenty-seven year-old attitude. Heaven help me, it would only be normal that I let my own care slide with so much on my plate.

The last couple of months started to drag me down and I knew that it was time to get myself in for a check-up. Any woman would tell you, it is much more pleasant to have a tooth pulled or maybe have your toenails ripped off one by one but it is something we must endure. I picked up the telephone and dialed the number of my Gynecologist only to find out that he is no longer in the area. The high cost of medical malpractice insurance has driven him out of West Virginia. I dialed a few more numbers and realized that finding a new doctor was not going to be an easy chore.

Finally, after calling a couple of people for recommendations, I found the number for a great doctor that comes to our local hospital once a month. I dialed the number for his office and after talking to his receptionist, was given an appointment for four weeks later, the earliest possible opening. I kept that appointment last week and it’s a good thing that I did.

I had the pelvic exam which seemed to indicate possible fibroid tumors in my uterus but that is common in my family and did not send me into a crisis state. When the doctor examined my breast however, he found a lump. While he tried to look cheerful and kept telling me that I am still very healthy, very vivacious, very intelligent, etc., I could see the look of tension that crossed his face.

So, here I am one week later. The doctor has already had me in for a mammogram and imaging and I will consult with a doctor/surgeon tomorrow, August 16^th. If you asked any woman what she feared most she would tell you, losing her children or developing breast cancer. If you asked most women what the number one killer of women is and they would most likely respond “breast cancer.”  Most of these women would be wrong but the concept is so totally frightening that it is hard for most of us to hear the words, “You have a lump,” without it causing panic to invade our total being.

Breast cancer is actually the sixth major cause of death for women ranking behind heart disease, stroke, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, lung cancer and Alzheimer’s disease.  There are more deadly cancer threats than breast cancer, lung cancer kills twice as many women as those who die from breast cancer. So why does this simple phrase, “You have a lump,” strike so much fear into our hearts?

I think for most of us it is the equation we make between our feminine qualities and our breasts. “Hey, look at the rack on that babe!” “Oh, my God, look at that, those have got to be 44’s!”  We feel like we are giving up a part of our womanhood if we must part with that mass of flesh so lovingly referred to as “our boob!”

Also, I think everyone knows someone who has died with breast cancer. Song writers have written music in memory of loved ones who perished with breast cancer, everyone has some knowledge of someone with this terrible disease and it is a disease that does not wait for any particular age. In fact, I even know of a couple of men who have dealt with breast cancer.

Do I think I am going to die if this lump turns out to be cancer? The truth is that we are all going to die at some point but I am not planning on checking out anytime in the immediate future. I only know of one way to deal with anything and that is head-on. This cannot be cried away and having a temper tantrum is not going to make it go away so I’ll do what I have to do and take one day at a time, living life to the fullest, as I always do! I have a doctor now that I have great faith in and I know that many people before me have survived this and many after me will survive it too.

I have always told my brother that I would develop a wild Amazon disease at some point that would eradicate me and he would live to be ninety-five. Why? Well, he has always loved a good party and is so laid back that if you aren’t careful, you might step on him on your way to the bathroom. I, on the other hand, have more energy than even I know what to do with for the most part. I am driven, try to take care of myself, work hard to help the world and have a need to make a difference. Maybe I need to develop a bit of a wild streak? No, I’ll just keep my course and we’ll see what happens.

For the record, I had one lady who told me that this is most likely a lump from “Them damned underwire bras you like so much.” All I can do is to laugh at this. Would I really look better in duct tape holding up my ample cleavage? If the doctor tells me the bras need to go, I’ll toss them but I’m warning you, it will not be a pretty sight when I walk around without them!

Well, tomorrow I find out what my tests show for the lump. Next week I’ll find out what is happening with my uterus. Do I feel old? No, I do not. Do I feel like I am losing a part of my most feminine being? No, I do not. I think my mind and my heart are far more important than this mass of flesh. I will not wallow in self-pity, I’m here today and I will do what has to be done!

More details to come!

©Dianna Doles Petry

8/15/2007

dianna59@suddenlink.net

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