Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Special Treat – Bonnie Carriles

September 29, 2007

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

Bonnie Carriles

 I used to be the person who people would whisper about. I used to do things that people did not expect me to do. Sometimes this was good but sometimes it was dangerously bad. I was the person in your school who wore all black, sat in the back of class, and got picked on for being different or better yet, I got picked on for not being trendy. Why and how did I become this person?

It all began when my mother decided to uproot me after having lived in the same home since I was four. Now, at thirteen, I had to move into what my mother told me was "a better neighborhood".

I was starting Jr. High that year and found out that I would have to go to this school that my friends considered to be a rich kid snobby school.

At first, I was excited and my mom prepped me by buying me some new 17th street Surf Shop Shirts, Jimmy'z velcro shoes and jellies. I was ready and on the first day of school was relieved to see two other people that I grew up with had been enrolled there too.

I joined several activities. I was in Orchestra, gymnastics (I was the bomb on parallel bars), basketball, and cheerleading. It was all fun at first until I had my first encounter with the head cheerleader whose sister Becky was in my grade. They treated me like dirt when they found out that I had not been born with a spoon in my mouth. I was just a navy brat and that didn’t mean crap.

Being a Navy Brat in my old neighborhood was a badge of honor and most in the neighborhood were in one branch of the military or another. Not this neighborhood.

I decided to quit before my mom spent the money on a uniform and that began my turmoil. Becky began to tell people that I was trendy and fake. I was just trash and that I didn’t belong there.

The sad thing about it all is that I came to the realization after a year, that she was right. I was no "surfer girl". I was a poser. I was not who I was and through the year I had slowly became detached from my friends that I grew up with.

After that, I kept a small circle of friends and still participated in some things that I liked...like Orchestra, and I began to sink myself further into my violin playing and for the love of my music. Since I had played since I was 4 or 5, I would stay behind to help Mrs. Price tune the violins and tutor other students. I would like to believe that me and my friend Erin who played cello, had a great impact on our Orchestra and because of our persistence and help, we made All State that year. Something this school had never won before.

Even though Becky terrorized me, I was still popular and I really think that it bugged the crap out of her. I was popular with everyone. The "in" crowd, and the "outcasts". I was on two different Jr. high school realms. I was a gymnast and basketball player with the more popular kids and I was a violinist in the Orchestra with the nerds and the Band geeks.

By the 9th grade, I was getting excited to go to High School and participated in things that would look good on my college applications. Things such as volunteering my time to elderly at the Beth Shalome Home that was up the street from my home. This kind of work was inspired by my sister.

At this time in my life, I felt abandoned by my sister. Even though we were never really close, she got married at 17 and moved away...or ran away rather. And, she didn’t look back. I missed her a lot and when she would call I would cry because my mom and sister didn’t think to allow me to talk on the phone. In fact, the only conversation with my sister that I remember having was when she was on her honeymoon in Alaska and she had told me a moose came and stomped a garden where she was staying.

I was happy for her as she was able to break free and start a new adventure but at the same time, she left me there. I felt that she didn’t care about me. Anyhow, when my sister was 15, I remember my mom, me, and Heather would pack in the car and take Heather to this nursing home where she was a candy striper. She seemed excited to do this and seemed to become a better person because of it. So, I wanted to make a difference like she did. Somehow, I felt by doing this, it would make her proud but to this day, I dont even think that she knew.

By the end of the year in 9th grade, we were filling out our schedules for High School and I found out that the High School that I would be going to would not be offering Orchestra. I was so upset and I cried to my mother who I just knew would be concerned. So, we began our calls, letters, and petitions to allow us to have Orchestra in High School and my teacher even volunteered her time for that one bell a day so that we can keep the music going.

It worked; we won and were given a storage room to practice in. We had only 5 people so we really were not an Orchestra. We were a quintet. Because of this, we werent able to participate in competitions. This began to wear on me as I didn’t realize how competition kept me working hard and because I was not challenged, I lost my drive.

When I turned 15, I applied for a workers permit and got a job at a place called Bellamy's Violin Shop. It was the best job I ever had. I cashiered, got paid commission on violin sales, changed strings for cash, rented instruments, and got to participate in the making of the beautiful German Violins that they put together that were imported from the owners family in Germany.

I worked there throughout the 10th grade and at the end of the year I found out that I would have another shocker. There was a new school built and I had to go there the following year because they were changing the school zone. The one thing that was good was that they offered Orchestra that would consist of 25 students but it was for beginners.

I signed up for the class and of course, I aced it. But, this would further hinger my much needed contact with better players and after Bellamy's went bankrupt and I lost my job, I detached and began to lose my desire for anything.

One day, I saw Becky's group by the hall lockers and they were picking on a girl who had Down Syndrome. I got into it with her over this and we ended up getting into a scuffle. I received detention, and she got nothing. The perception I received from this about High School life is still the same one that I have today. So long as you are powerful and have money, you are untouchable.

The next day, I would meet a girl in detention name Christa and we became fast friends. She introduced me to different groups and bands and she had an attitude that I loved. She would explain to me that I should be me and not who other people want or need me to be.

With that, the next day I would begin wearing black, defending myself and other people no matter who they were and I again gained another set of new friends. There were a combo of what we called Heads and Grits which is now considered Goth.

The rest of my years through high school would be very eventful but, those are stories for another day. It was Christa who taught me that I could be me. It didn’t matter what my interests were, it didn’t matter what I wore, or who my friends are. She thought that was the most important was being genuine to myself. Through that, I taught myself not to be judgmental of other people, accepting people for who they are is important in order to form true and long lasting relationships.

So, while people were running around whispering about my hair, my clothes, and my friends, I was educating myself on life, love, and all things beautiful. While they ran around popular.

My little group are still in contact and have all been married for several years, have families, and realize that we do have to be trendy in some ways but we still remain true to ourselves.

As for Becky, she is on her third divorce and no longer speaks to any of her group. She is working for a family business here in Virginia and has since apologized for her actions and putting myself where she was in life....where I once was...gave me the ability to understand and forgive.

Bonnie Carriles

 krazyb73@aol.com