Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness around the world.

Value Speak – A Joe Walker Column

May 7, 2008

ValueSpeak

A Weekly Column

By Joseph Walker

 valuespeak@msn.com

THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTHERS

            “You know, sometimes I really hate Mother’s Day.”

            I’ve heard that sentiment expressed several times in my life.  Once from a colleague who had, you know, “mother issues.”  Once on the 50^th birthday of a dear friend, whose lifelong dream of actually being a mother had so far eluded her.  And once from a brother-in-law whose Mother’s Day gift to my sister was . . . shall we say, coldly received (how was he to know that her off-hand comment that she needed a new ironing board was NOT a hint?).

            But yesterday I heard it from someone who caught me completely off-guard with the comment: my wife, Anita.

            Anita is, in my view, the consummate mother. From the first time I ever spoke seriously to her about her dreams and ambitions, I knew that being a mother was not just a priority to her – it was THE priority. And she is amazingly good at it, and has been from the moment she found out she was expecting our first child, about two months after we were married.  She loves her children fiercely, she serves them tirelessly and she prays for them faithfully.

Which is not to say that she is a “perfect” mother. To be honest, I’m not sure such a thing actually exists. Anita makes mistakes, just as we all do, even when it comes to things about which we care deeply.  And Anita cares deeply about her children and the choices they make in their lives – perhaps too deeply, sometimes.

That’s why it was a little surprising to hear her say . . . you know . . . what she said about Mother’s Day.  I mean, she loves being a mother.  I know that.  So it naturally follows that she should love Mother’s Day.

Doesn’t it?

“It’s stuff like this,” she said, responding to the question that must have been clearly in my eyes. She read from an article in our church newsletter: “All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”

“That’s Abraham Lincoln,” I said. “But I don’t think he meant anything by it.  I mean, his mother was dead at the time, so technically she really WAS an angel. Right?”

Anita gave me that look she gives me when I think I’m being clever but I’m really just being sort of a dork.

“Of course it was Abraham Lincoln,” she said.  “His wife never would have said anything like that.”

“Well, as I understand it, Mary Todd Lincoln was . . . you know . . . sort of . . . nuts.”

“This is not about the Lincolns,” Anita said.  “This is about mothers. And mothers aren’t angels.  They aren’t saints.  They aren’t heroines.  They aren’t martyrs. They’re just . . . mothers, doing the best they can for their families.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Anita said.  “That’s my point. I love my mother, and I know that she loves me.  And for us, that’s enough.  I don’t have to turn her into something that she isn’t in order to honor her on Mother’s Day.”

I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week as Mother’s Day approaches. And I’ve decided that Anita, as usual, is right.  The whole “angel mother” thing is over-rated.  I mean, who can relate to that?  How much better to have a flesh and blood mother who is real.  Because that’s what mothers are: regular, ordinary women who are sometimes amazing, and sometimes not. But right or wrong, angelic or not, they’re doing the best that they can for their families.

And who can hate something like that?