Archives at Zinester: April 23, 2005 - Special Treat - Kay Seefeldt. Storytime

STORYTIME TAPESTRY

Special Treat

April 23 2005

The Saga of the Teachers??™ Revenge
Kay Seefeldt

Teachers aren??™t really out to ???get??? their students as many actually
believe, but this particular day we were. Like the rise and fall of
evil empires, a class comes along that??™s a class from H-E_ _ double
toothpicks, and this particular class was proud of its disreputable
reputation. They did everything in their power to maintain their legend
of teacher??™s worst nightmare. Believe me, thoughts of retirement danced
through my head more than once that year.

The last ten minutes of class had been given over for students to work
on their assignment or get help if needed. For once, they were quiet
and appeared to be working. I took this rare opportunity to get some
of my own work done. Big Mistake! I should have been suspicious right
away as most days I needed to patrol like a sentry to keep these
students out of trouble. When a teacher??™s eyes are averted, mischief
happens! Pools of ink on the carpet, gum stuck in dictionaries,
bulletin board decorations torn or rude comments written about another
student or a teacher. New tactics to their arsenal are added daily, and
we teachers are always on defensive maneuvers.

Just as I glanced up from my work, a boy stood and threw a small
missile at another student across the room. Even though caught in the
act, he declared, ???I didn??™t do anything!??? I often wonder what goes
through a preteen??™s head. Do they believe we are blind, stupid, or
both? Hmmmm. Who was the one who stood up and got caught? Had he
stayed in his seat, he may have gotten away with his shenanigans. Next
he tried to debate the issue, ???I wasn??™t the only one!??? This fact was a
given, but none in this peers would ???rat??? on him.   Begrudgingly, he
picked up the mess around his desk. His timing had been close to
perfect because it was time to line up the students and escort them to
lunch.

Upon my returning from the cafeteria, I inspected my room for debris
fields of telltale spit balls around other desks to see who else may
have been involved. However, instead of spit balls, hundreds of tiny
bead-like pieces literally covered the carpet. No way were just two
kids involved. More like the whole class had been under attack. Right
now, you??™re probably thinking, Oh, pleassse - the whole class was under
attack, and the teacher didn??™t have a clue. I am an observant teacher,
aka Hawk eye Seefeldt to some students. Not even a giggle to tip off
the blitzkrieg! My sister-in-law, a former second grade teacher, used
to say of her second grade classes ???Busy kids are quiet kids.??? In
middle school it is more like: ???Quiet kids are   naughty kids.???

After all students had left for the day, I mentioned to the other
teachers about the skirmish in my room and asked if they??™d check for
plastic pieces in theirs to see if I was the only casualty. The only
male teacher on our team was 100% certain they hadn??™t done anything in
his room. (I guess he was implying these guys respected him more than
us female teachers.) Every room had about same amount of plastic on
the floors, included his. This class takes no prisoners.

Putting our intelligence network together, we detected a pool of the
plastic pieces in front of one locker. Upon opening the door, more
ammo rolled out, and we discovered the source of the tiny pellets. The
limp exoskeleton of a once coveted beanie baby very deserving of a
Purple Heart. How many other soft fabric babies had been sacrificed
for the cause and buried in other lockers was anybody??™s guess.

A counterattack was planned. Our new principal agreed to give the
custodians on our wing ???the night off with pay.???   We felt our students
deserved the dubious honor of picking up the pieces - one at a time -
before classes the next day. High-fiving each other, we headed home.

On arriving at school the next morning, we??™d all had the same
horrifying revelation. Our tactical planning had one fatal flaw. We??™d
be losing valuable time from our first period class. They??™d be
thrilled! We??™d not only lose this battle but the war on terrorism as
well. Quickly, we devised plan B. We??™d carry on as if nothing had
happened. At exactly 11:45, we??™d drop the L-bomb on them......lunch
time...their social time.

Waiting to spring our little surprise was such sweet anticipation. The
little lambs were totally unaware they were being led to slaughter -
Not one had commented on the floors being still covered in beady ammo.
Just another middle school day of fun and games. When we each
announced ???pay back time??? to our classes, the stunned look of utter
disbelief on their faces was absolutely priceless. They got the big
picture immediately. One brave ???soldier??? complained, ???You can??™t keep
us from our lunch.??? To which we responded, ???How much lunch time you
lose depends on how long it takes you pick up your mess.??? As we oversaw
the detail, they scrambled to pick up every last piece of plastic in
the five rooms. Satisfied we??™d made our point, we marched them like
POW??™s to the cafeteria.

Class from you know where: 999. Teachers: 1!

A truce of sorts was declared. No more beanie beads or any other land
mines appeared on our floors for the rest of the school year.

Kay Seefeldt

Kay has enjoyed the challenge of being a middle school teacher for the
past twenty-six years. Teaching middle school students is like living
in a constant state if puberty, but she wouldn't trade her age level
students or profession for any other. She has been published on
Petwarmers, Gardenwarmers, 2theheart and Storytime Tapestry: ???The
Artificial Limb,??? ???F.R.O.G.,??? "Clover Alert," and "Wolfie - World's
Most Wonderful Dog." Some day she hopes to compile the stories about
her somewhat wacky family into a book as a legacy to her children and
grandchildren. She thanks God for all the blessings in her life.