STORYTIME TAPESTRY

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Special Treat ??“ Sharon Bryant

May 7, 2005

                                             I WISH

Sharon Bryant.

As we approach Mother's Day, two thoughts fill my mind.  One, that my mom and I had 35 years together on this earth when the angels called her home when she was 59 years old.

I miss her.

Secondly, that I became a mom myself long ago on that cold snowy day in January 1972.  And the angels came too early and took my little boy home when he was five.

Here I sit, another Mother's Day coming and each year so many thoughts keep going through my mind.  If I close my eyes I can see mom throwing back her head and laughing heartily at something I said or did, or as I grew, jokes we shared, stories, recipes, etc.

I miss her.

I called Dad tonight.  He'll be 85 in October.  I said, "Dad, I hope you have that spare bedroom ready.  I'm coming home."  "Yeah, and I'll believe that one" he said. "I AM coming, I'll be there in one month," I said.  "Really?  Are you REALLY coming home finally?" he asked.  I assured him that I'd be there the first week of June.

"Well, bring your video camera, we don't want to miss this one." he said. 

I'm taking the camera.

I think of dad even on Mother's Day.  I remember so many times after mom was gone when I needed to talk about something and dad would say, "I wish your mom were here, she was the one who could help you better than me."  I always told him, "But she's not here dad, and you're all I've got left."

I know that my daughter who is in Minnesota will call and wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  I know my son who lives 15 miles away will come by.  (I hope he brings dinner because I've got to work)  (LOL, and I'll believe that one.....)

He called the other day and said, "Mom, what is something you really want for Mother's Day?"  I replied, "Get me one of those French Vanilla coffee mates."  "WHAT?" he asked?  I said, "You heard me."  "But mom, that's not a gift."  "Sure it is," I said, "and it makes me happy.  I'm a happy camper when I get my coffee mornings."  He laughed and said, "Sure mom, sure."

I can't help but think about the one who can't call me.  Who can't visit me.  Each year though I'm so happy to hear from my two remaining children, my heart aches for the one who is not here.  I always wonder........what if?

If your mom is alive, call her.  No matter how old a child is, there is nothing more heart warming than to have your child call you.  If you've had a spat with your mom and one of you is too proud to pick up that phone and say, "I'm sorry," swallow that pride and do it anyways.  She won't always be here.

If you are a mom, thank God you have your children still with you.  And if you have a grandmother still on earth, it wouldn't hurt to give her a call.  She's a mom too.  What I would give to be able to pick up the phone and call my mom or grandmother.

I cherish what I had with my son and my mom and my grandmother.  And I thank God I still have my dad.  I cherish my whole life and everything each one did for me and taught me.

I wish I could have been more lucky.  I wish my mom would have lived to see my last child grow.  I wish I'd have written down the recipe she had for those homemade buns she used to set on the table and let Dad and I slap one open and load it up with butter.  I wish I could still see her standing in the kitchen doorway when dad and I would both wake up in the middle of the night, sneak downstairs and catch each other, and have a glass of milk and dip that bread into our milk.  I remember the time mom caught he and I eating creamed herring and that homemade bread at 2:00 A.M. one night.  She told us we were both nuts!

So many things I wish.  But, I'll get through this day this year.  I have my memories. Time will never take those away from me.  But still.......I miss mom.  I miss my son.  And I'm FINALLY going home to see my dad.  I'm taking the album I've made to show him over 70 years of family photos.  I know he'll like it.  I want to show him the "memory" page I made for my son and mom.  For I know, he misses mom and his grandson also.

When I pull up in his yard, and he looks out that window when I toot the horn, I'll be early for Father's Day.  But I'll be bringing home an album that I will share with my sister and brother also, so maybe we'll be a few days late, but we'll still all be together.  That's all that counts.

And I have an angel that I know will be looking down and in my heart, will always be with me on Mother's Day.

Sharon Bryant

1946 @bellsouth.net

About Me:

 I am Sharon Bryant, 59 years old and reside in Alabama.

I lost my child in 1977 when he was five and I write
articles on bereavement often.

I am a chocolate/candy maker and also a wood crafter and knitter.

I am married to a wonderful man, and have two remaining children, a daughter 25,
Amy, and a second son, Randy, age 22.

My main goal in life is to help those who
have lost a child. My website is: www.angelsremembered.tk