Special Treat ??“ From Me

June 24, 2005

The Secret of Patience is Time

Carol Roach

If I could define just one quality that I like it would definitely be patience. Sometimes, I find there is a big discrepancy between what could be, and what is. I look at my life and I don??™t always see what I like. I see pain, I see health issues, and I see working for a job which I hate.  But what I know is that time is my friend. Time will get me where I want to go. Time will guide me in the right direction.

The secret of time as I learned is that it waits for no one, nor will it speed up for anyone either.

Sometimes I am frustrated as I am turning 50, yet I have not yet accomplished the things in life I still want to do. Many people say to me, ???oh but look what you have accomplished, you are amazing, I wish I were like you.??? And I think to myself, why would anyone want to be like me? I wish that I was more like them.

I think it is part of human nature, to want more, to be more, and to be all that we can be (self actualization ??“ Abraham Maszlow). I do not see myself there yet. Sometimes it depresses me.

But when I look back over time, given the tools I had to work with, given the conditions I have lived through, I see I have indeed accomplished much. I can boast that I went back to university at the age of 37, and in seven years obtained a bachelor in psychology, a year in a diploma program for Family Education, and a very coveted masters degree in counseling psychology. 

Some would say wow you did all that, but the ???that??? was not all there was to it. I went back to university as a mature student. I made the deans list as honour student.

I was a poor woman from the ghetto of Montreal. I was a single parent of a juvenile delinquent and life was hard. I remember one time where I was sitting in the police station until 4:00 a.m. waiting for news about my son who had been arrested. As if that kind of pressure was not enough, I had to write an exam at 9:00 a.m. on the theory of learning that very day and I had yet to get some sleep. I did not obtain and A on that particular exam but under such extreme stress I passed the exam with a very respectable B. 

It took time to get through my degrees, and it took time to turn my son around. I would have loved to finish both in half the time that it did.  But time is a wise benefactor. It doesn??™t deliver on demand, but it will deliver when the moment is just right. 

Sometimes, ???in the here and now??? I forget that patience is truly a virtue. I reflect upon my life and think, ???look at the time frame and still I have not reached the place where I want to be. I still have not finished the writing of my second novel, or I have yet to look for another job, by now it should have been done,??? I whine as I vent my frustrations. The understanding that the time sequence of the universe is not the sequencing that mere humans attach to it is lost on me. 

So what is the solution? I know that time can be my enemy, or it can be my friend. The attitude I attribute to every situation will be heavily weighted upon the outcome of each of my endeavors. My decisions or choices in life, is contingent upon my attitude. My thoughts and my rationale for everything I do will be governed by the attitude I adopt at any given time. Knowing this has given me a power I never knew existed within me.

So what does all this mean to me? Now when I question time, I take a step back and remind myself, the issue is not the time frame it takes to write that book, or get a better job, or whatever situation comes up for me, the issue is that I get there. And so when I am stuck in the mindset of ???I can??™t wait, it takes too long, I am too slow, I have missed the boat, I am a failure, any other failure driven ideations, I stand back, take a deep breath, embrace the universe, and dream of what the day will be like when I truly achieve my goal. I dream of the day I will get there!  For the truth is, I will achieve my goals in time.  

Carol Roach

winterose@videotron.ca

A Native of Montreal, Quebec, Carol is a graduate of Concordia, and McGill University.  She holds a bachelor in psychology and a masters in counselling psychology.  Carol Roach is a published writer and newsletter editor.  You can purchase her book: Picking up the Pieces: A Woman's Journey at www.publishamerica.com, or www.amazon.com.  You can also go to your local bookstore and order it there as well.  Carol has now finished her second novel and currently looking for a publisher.