STORYTIME TAPESTRY

The Newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world

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Dec 12, 2005? 

Today??™s Announcements:

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? Day 3 of the Christmas Contest continues with Sharon Bryant??™s submissions.?  Boy is she a prolific writer!

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Now on to the good stuff..........

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Today's Christmas Stories
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? CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

? Sharon Bryant

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Today on the television they were talking about Christmas and how many people get depressed between Thanksgiving and Christmas.?  Working with depression for all these years with parents who have lost a child, and being there myself so many times, I understand the lows of the Holiday season.

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I believe that we who have wonderful memories from our childhood, always think of those times when something happens and our lives have changed.?  I know that before tragedy struck my life and took my son from me, I was a different person.

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Christmas was my favorite time of year.?  I remembered each year as a child how I waited for that big box from my grandmother.?  It was filled with cookies, pies, cakes, things that my grandma took the time to bake for my family.?  There were special things like the gingerbread girl with my name on it.?  Cookies decorated with perfection.?  Sometimes they were so pretty, you felt bad eating one.

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As I grew up, I wanted to keep that tradition in my family.?  I spent days baking special things for my family.?  I can close my eyes and still remember the aromas of cinnamon, nutmeg, pumpkin, and all the spices it takes to make an assortment of goodies.?  Folks would come into my home and sniff the air and say, "It smells so delicious in here."

I don't do those things anymore.?  Sometimes it's hard for me to bake one batch of cookies today.? 

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Wrapping gifts was another thing I used to love and making special bows.?  I chose my wrapping paper with care and I'd smile when the recipient would see their package and comment on how pretty it was.

I don't do that anymore.?  Some years I'm lucky if I do wrap anything, and some years, I just grab comics from the newspaper and wrap the gifts that way.

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Sometimes it's just too hard.?  I think the hardest thing someone who hurts at Christmas time is trying to wrap gifts with tears sliding down their face splashing on the paper.?  And though they want to make the person happy that they have bought for, the memories of past years, grabs at the heart strings.

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Sometimes friends and family don't understand these feelings when they see someone else having to struggle to get things done or even try and celebrate as it used to be.?  I've learned that you can never understand what another is feeling deep inside until you too, have experienced what they have.?  Then and only then can you relate.

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When we lose someone we love.....when someone is missing from our family.....everything has changed.?  And for the person who was closet to the one who is missing, their pain is the greatest.?  It gets hard.?  Some try and fight it, telling themselves they will make it better this year.

But then, those memories come flooding back from long ago and the heart tugs begin.

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I will always remember Christmas Day of 1982.?  I sat in a funeral parlor with my heart torn apart, looking at the woman who gave birth to me.?  I can't begin to express what it feels like to say good bye to your mom on Christmas.?  I can't begin to tell you how much it hurt to see my dad who was having such a hard time saying good bye also.?  It was one of the hardest days of my life.

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I remember the Christmas of 1977.?  I wasn't capable that year to celebrate anything.?  My heart was broken into so many pieces, I never dreamed I would ever be normal again.?  I had lost my little boy two months before.?  I remember my mom calling Christmas Eve and asking what time I was going to be at her house, 55 miles away.?  I told her I wasn't coming.?  I knew she was upset, but I had bought no gifts.?  I had no appetite.?  I had been crying for days, and I felt it would not be good to have my family see me the way I was.?  I couldn't control what I was experiencing.?  That first Christmas without my son was horrendous.

Mom called an hour later and told me it would be hard on her if I wasn't there with my siblings, a tradition we had always done in the past years.?  I told her without my son, I was nothing, incapable of celebrating anything.

She said to me, "How do you think it makes me feel knowing I will not have all my children with me this year?"? 

I replied, "How do you think I feel knowing I will NEVER have my child with me again at Christmas?"

I did not go home that year.?  It was just too hard.

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I've learned in this lifetime that no matter how hard we try, we can never go back.?  I've learned that losing a loved one is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.?  I've learned that though somehow we survive, nothing is the same and it never will be.

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I believe the greatest gift we can give to our children, is memories.?  Whatever their future holds for them down the road, they will always have the memories of what life was once like.?  I cherish my memories of life when it was good.? 

I hope that when I'm gone, my own children will remember the good times, the laughter, the feeling of love at the Holidays.?  I hope if tragedy ever strikes their life once I'm gone, that they will be able to smile through their tears.

For many never have that chance of happy memories.

Children who are abused and never know love, cannot have those memories.?  I thank God I had wonderful parents who loved me.

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Christmas has become so different than when I was growing up.?  There were no ads on television showing the latest toys.?  There were no "I want that," times.? ? When? I was little, I? remember? there was always wonder at what Santa would be bringing.?  I can't tell you how many times I could not fall asleep, listening for bells ringing on our roof top.?  I can't begin to tell of how many times I'd raise the window in my bedroom, my hair being covered with snow, looking up into the sky, hoping I could find Santa before he landed at our house.?  I remember one time my brother and I were hanging out the window in our two-story house looking up swearing we heard sleigh bells.? ?  My brother leaned over too far and almost fell out of the window.?  I grabbed him just in time.

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Our news keeps talking about "Black Friday,"? ? where the stores rake in the money from the sales.?  I keep hearing this thinking, "Is this what Christmas has become to mean?"?  Is it all about money and? spending?

No one mentions love.?  No one mentions the birth of Jesus.?  How things have changed from when I was a little girl.

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I think the fondest memory I hold as a child is Midnight Mass in our Catholic Church.?  I always felt as though Jesus was sitting right next to me.?  I felt loved.? 

I don't attend Midnight Mass anymore.?  I'd prefer to hold the memories from my past.?  I've tried attending but again, it was too hard.?  The heart tugs were too strong since that day in 1977 and again in 1982.?  And though I don't attend today, my heart still stays the same.?  The love for a man I've never met.?  The gratefulness that He helped fix a broken heart to a certain extent and gave me the ability to survive the tragedy's that have struck my life.

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The memories I hold of Christmas from the past are beautiful.?  A family gathered together, a piano playing with all of us singing Christmas carols, and a wonderful table of food and goodies.?  Hugs from everyone and a sparkle in eyes of all the people I cared about.? 

Yet, my grandparents and parents never let us forget why we were celebrating Christmas.?  We knew about a baby boy born in a manger far away, many years ago.? 

We hung the angel on the tree for Him.?  It was the last? thing to be lit and grandpa and grandma and dad and mom would have us all stand back to watch the angel light up.?  We always said, "Happy Birthday Jesus."

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May we all feel the true meaning of Christmas this year.

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Sharon Bryant

1946 @bellsouth.net

~**~**~? 

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MY CHILDHOOD CHRISTMAS MEMORIES? ? 

Sharon Bryant

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My parents lived with my grandparents, mom's side, when I was born.?  We lived there until I was 10-years-old.?  We had an old two-story house in Detroit.?  I remember the big flowers on the wallpaper and the? floor covering? with flowers on it also, on the floor.?  We didn't have a "front room" in those days, it was called the parlor.

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Looking back, I don't know how we fit a Christmas tree into that tiny parlor but mom and gram always managed.?  The ornaments were old, all made of glass, and each year I would look at each one, how it glowed from the big lights on the tree.?  My brother and I loved to watch the bubble lights move up and down.?  And when we hung the tinsel, it took hours because we'd put them on the tree branches one strand at a time.? ? 

I used to love to string popcorn with a thread and needle for our decorations.?  But my? most favorite ornament was the snow white angel on top of the tree.?  She was beautiful.

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Christmas Eve was a big thing in our family.?  All my aunts and cousins came over for "snacks" (which I today would call a full meal).?  Some of my cousins would spend the night because they would have to come back after one o'clock in the morning.

We would all go to church.?  I remember I always thought my mom was putting a doily on my head.?  But I hated to wear the babushka's as she called them so I preferred the "doily."?  Midnight mass was always so beautiful.

I used to attend St. Leo's Catholic Church in Detroit with my family.

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When we got back home, we had to go to bed.?  Sometimes I slept, sometimes I just drifted off for a short time.

When it was time to get up, the whole house came to life.

All my aunts and uncles and cousins would be there.? 

Grandma had an old piano.?  We all sang Christmas songs before Grandpa began his work for the night.

Grandpa was what we called Santa's helper.

Each year, he would pull a little foot stool up near the tree, pick up a package, call out a name, and we'd all watch and wait for that person to open their gift.?  It took us a long time to open all the gifts, but I remember being so excited when everyone was so happy.

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Grandma and mom cooked and baked a lot.?  My mom never could see anyone not having a gift for Christmas, so Christmas morning, I'd tag along with her as she hand delivered box after box of homemade cookies, bread, pies, etc. to all the neighbors.?  I used to love help carry boxes up the big steps to people's homes.?  You sure get a lot of hugs on Christmas when you do that.?  I didn't realize until I grew older, just how much those boxes meant to so many.

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Every Christmas morning mom would wind up the old Victrola.?  She always played this one song.......I can't recall the name, but I remember it was about a little boy who didn't have any parents and was in an orphanage and he didn't get anything for Christmas.?  Mom would cry every year over that song.?  It always made me sad too, to know that a little kid somewhere out there wasn't able to grab a homemade cookie, or get gifts, or have a wonderful meal for Christmas.

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Dad was the president of a big club in Detroit.?  All year he and his members would do fundraisers to get enough money to put on a grand Christmas party for kids who didn't have much.?  I loved going to those parties and helping my parents serve food and gifts.?  Though we were not rich, I realized at a young age, there were many who had less than I did.

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My grandparents are gone now.?  So is my mom.?  Dad just turned 85 this year.?  Showing signs of Alzheimer's, dad doesn't always remember those years.?  But I do.?  When I talk to dad on a day he's having a good day, we chat about the old days in Detroit.?  The days when we were all together.?  When Santa was so real, and when families looked out for one another.?  When Christmas was celebrated for the birth of Jesus.

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I know that the years I saw my parents and grandparents help so many others, has made me do the things I do today.?  We were taught that Christmas was for giving, not receiving.

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I cannot wait until our troops get the boxes of DVD's and cards I'm sending off in a week to Iraq.?  The letters I will receive will prove to me, that again, this Christmas, a life will be touched.

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May you all feel the true spirit of Christmas

God Bless,

Sharon Bryant

1946 @bellsouth.net

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~**~**~

OH CHRISTMAS TREE? 

? Sharon Bryant

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Some folks have big Christmas? trees inside their homes.?  Some have medium height ones like six or seven foot.?  And some have midget trees.?  I became the owner of a midget tree one year.?  Not by choice, but by a fluke.

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It was December 10, the day we ALWAYS went to the tree farms and picked out a tree.? ? We always cut our? own down, so hubby had the ax with him.? ?  Hubby, the kids, Amy age? 6 and Randy age? 3? and I found the "perfect tree."?  It was a seven foot long needle? Scotch Pine, and it stood so straight and beautiful.?  I knew that was the one we would decorate and put in our bay window for everyone to see.

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Hubby began cutting it with the ax.?  I heard him say, "Uh oh."?  I asked him what was wrong and he replied, "This tree has two trunks."?  "WOW," I said, it IS a special tree.?  Hubby cut it down and we dragged it into the back of the pick up.?  The kids sang Christmas songs on the way home while I mentally tried to recall where certain special ornaments were placed from last year.

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We got the tree into the house.?  I dragged out the old green and red metal tree stand in the garage.?  The tree would not fit into the tree stand.?  Hubby took the ax and began cutting away.?  At first, the tree just barely missed the top of the ceiling.?  He kept cutting and we kept trying the trunk and still it wouldn't fit.?  Off came more of the tree trunk.?  We were into the center of the double trunk and though it narrowed at that point, it still wouldn't fit into the tree stand.?  Hubby decided to cut it above the trunk, so his handy little ax began swinging again and off came the trunk.?  Finally we got to the part of the trunk that WOULD fit into the tree stand.

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How tall do you think a six-year-old child is??  Picture it in your head.?  My daughter stood back and looked at that tree that WAS seven foot tall and put her hand under her chin and said, "Mom, can I hang the angel on the top this year??  I don't think you will have to pick me up this time."? 

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No, I didn't have to pick her up.?  The tree was only a few inches taller than she was and her arms could reach the top easily.?  I stood back and wanted to cry.?  The beautiful tree had now become our midget tree.?  Hubby started laughing and said, "I can fix it, I can fix it, don't worry."?  I looked at him like he was nuts and said, "What do you think you're going to do, give it Miracle Grow and it will grow overnight?"?  That didn't go over so well with him, so he said, "NO!?  We're going to set the tree stand on a box and give it height."

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The tree went on top of an old wooden box we had in the garage.?  I had to take fishing line and tie the tree to the window sill in case the dog or cat went flying by and touched it, causing it to topple over.?  I won't even go into what our tree skirt looked like a foot and a half OFF the floor.?  I had to pack fake snow around the box to conceal it.? 

The cat, had I caught him, would have been adopted by someone else.? 

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My daughter topped the night off when she stood back and began singing 'Oh Christmas Tree,' only she changed some words.?  She sang out in her six-year-old shrill voice, "Oh Little Tree, Oh Little Tree, I wish that you were bigger."

We laughed our heads off.

And that, my friends is how my daughter managed to reach the top of the tree and put the angel on all by herself that Christmas of '85.

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Sharon Bryant

1946 @bellsouth.net

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~**~**~

? A LITTLE CHRISTMAS TREE

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? Sharon Bryant

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Today I bought a little tree

And decorated it tonight

It has one ornament

It's gold, red and white

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The ornament is a nail

And a card attached to the tree

Telling the story of the ornament

And what it means to me

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I wish I could be there

I wish that I could see

The smiles I know will come

When the troops see their tree

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I know the tree is little

It's only a?  small token from me

But I think the troops will be happy

They got a Christmas tree

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There are no trees growing

In the desert where they stand

I wanted them to remember

Christmas in their homeland

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Sharon Bryant

2005

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Sharon Bryant

1946 @bellsouth.net

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About Me:

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I am Sharon Bryant,? 59 years old and reside in Alabama. I lost my child in 1977 when he was five and I write articles on bereavement often. I am a chocolate/candy maker and also a wood crafter and knitter. I am married to a wonderful man, and have two remaining children, a daughter 26,
Amy, and a second son, Randy, age 24.

My main goal in life is to help those who
have lost a child. My website is: www.angelsremembered.tk

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Writers Feedback

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A Special Kind of Christmas ??“ Carol, So true and so well told? ?  hugs Leona

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? SENIOR WRITERS

Chief Writer: Sharon Bryant

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? Agee, Vance;? Apted, Violet;? Baker, Kathy; Batt, Al;?  Berry, Nell; Blaine, Pamela

Boda, Ginger;? ? Buhagiar, Victor; Cassady, B.J.;?  Cavalera, Robyn; Crider, Mark;? 

Deming, Barb; Doherty, Maria; Gilbert, Robert Jr; Goodier, Steve; Halley, Ellie Braun;

Harris, Kathy Anne;? Hunt, Sharlette;? Hymes, Christina

Jacobson, Gary;? Kiser, Roger Dean; Kerens, Claudia; Kevin, Tim Jenkins, Pamela;

Liles, Norma; Lilly, Jodi Flesberg; Lock, Joyce; Mazzella, Joe;? Morris, Deepak;

Ojeigbe, Georgewaters;

?  Petry, Dianna Doles; Roberts, Susan;?  Shiveley, Debra; Shaw, Bob; Sims, Richard; Streidel, Saskia; Swarner, Ken; Vaknin, Sam; Verhoeff, Jan

Walker, Bill; Walker, Joe;? Warner, Gorden K; Walsh, Sue

Weymouth, Barbara; Whirity, Kathy;? White, Robert;

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