STORYTIME TAPESTRY

The Newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world

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Special Treat - Christmas Contest Submission ??“ ? Sharlett Hunt

Dec 21, 2005

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? All special treats will be Christmas Contest entries from now on.?  This way I can maximize on the number of stories I can get out to you.?  Please do not influence your vote because you see a writer has a special treat.?  I will pick a story at random for this selection.?  The soul purpose of using the special treat section is to get out my Christmas stories to you.?  You will still vote for your favourite writer at the end of the contest whether or not they were slotted for a special treat or remained published in the main newsletter.

Carol Roach

? And now for today??™s selection:

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? This was really hard for me to write and I don't know if it is written so my point can be understood.?  As people become more aware, maybe we can stamp out this terrible crime against children.

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Christmas and Child Abuse

?  Sharlett F. Hunt

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?  Child sexual abuse.?  Shhhhhh!?  Say it quietly.?  Why bring it up at Christmas, when everyone is so joyful??  Don't talk about it at all and maybe it will disappear.?  That would be good but is not the case.?  It is still quite prevalent inside the homes of nice people? who might be your neighbor.?  Children are not only molested in poverty stricken homes but in upper class neighborhoods as well.

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?  I hear on the news every day where a little girl or boy has been raped and killed, never to laugh or run and play again.?  The ones who are not killed are sentenced to live a life of shame filled with psychological problems that lead them to addictions and many times suicide.? 

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?  I? was one of those children.?  ? My grandfather started molesting me when I was too young to even talk enough to tell anyone.?  By the time I was eight years old, I realized that he gave me money and treated me more special than the other kids.?  I was allowed to go to the store with him and he would buy me treats.?  I? felt it was wrong but had a fear so deep down? inside of letting anyone know about it.?  Grandpa drank a lot and I realize this probably had a lot to do with his behavior but I always wondered if my Granny knew about it.

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?  At age twelve, I went to live with another family after my mother abandoned me in Virginia.?  This man, Jack, proceeded to take over where my grandfather had left off.?  He would send his wife on little errands so he could corner me.?  I was terrified?  and would try to fight him off but I had become a victim and, I am not sure how, but people sense that.?  I guess it might have been the vulnerable position I found myself in with no family near.?  My mother had returned to Florida where the rest of my family lived.?  It was to be two years before I learned that.

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?  A few days before my eighteenth birthday, Jack finally had his way with me.?  I had tried to fight him off for years and never told anyone.?  I felt his wife might have known what he was up to.?  How could you not know??  That's what bothers me the most.?  Some years after I moved back to Florida, I called and told her the whole, sordid truth and she called me a liar.?  I expected as much.

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?  In my fairy tale world? in which I lived, ? I had always dreamed of being a virgin so when he raped me, I knew it was all over for me.?  I was numb inside.?  I felt my life was over at eighteen years old.? ? This abuse? continued a few months until I got away from them and joined the Army.? 

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?  By this time I had started drinking to forget and it worked.?  I was the life of the party!?  I used no discretion in the partners I chose.?  I guess I was, indeed, looking for love in all the wrong places.?  By giving in to men, it made me feel cared about, even for a short time.? 

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?  ? I finally married my husband whom I had known since I was fifteen years old and knew all my little secrets and loved me anyway.?  He had been in Viet Nam and had a chronic drinking problem which finally destroyed him.?  He died of cirrhosis at the age of 38.?  He wasn't abusive, just not a good provider.?  He wanted to drink and play cards with his brothers all the time while I worked.?  We had a couple babies by then and I knew I could support myself and them but he had to go.?  We stayed separated most of the seventeen years of our marriage.? 

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?  I started working in bars and whatever I could do to make a living for my kids.?  I had one abusive relationship after another.?  I met a man who wanted to take care of my kids and me but little did I know the horrors that awaited me.?  He was twenty years my senior and very jealous.?  We both drank a lot which probably had something to do with our problems.?  I wore black eyes all the time.?  He broke my nose five times.?  I have so many scars on my body that were inflicted by him.?  He ranted and raved till all hours of the morning when he was really full of alcohol and my children that I loved so much and wanted to protect were slowly drawing away from me.? 

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?  I lost my kids when I left him because by then I was not able to care for them.?  I hated everything and everyone.?  I even found another man who would beat me and nearly lost my life this time but I didn't care.?  I wanted to die.?  This was utmost in my thoughts.

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?  These animals who molest little innocent children can never know the pain they cause.?  I believe it is the utmost crime because it is so destructive to so many.?  It nearly destroyed me and in the process I hurt everyone I came in contact with.?  I felt I was unworthy so I choose people throughout my life to reinforce this low opinion of myself.?  People always ask why a woman will stay in an abusive relationship and I know why.?  You become so afraid because of a complete lack of self esteem.?  You can't see yourself leaving so the only hope you hang onto is that it will change.?  It has been beaten into you that nobody else will want you and living on your own sounds impossible at the time.

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?  I am still learning to forgive and forget.?  This is not easy for me.?  I still can't understand what a grown man sees sexually exciting in a little girl or boy.?  These little innocent beings deserve so much more than that, they were sent as a gift from God, to be loved and cherished, not to be the object of someone's carnal desires.? 

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?  As I celebrate this Christmas, I will think of an innocent babe who was born in a manger.?  He is the reason I am here today.?  He has forgiven me and gives me a? hope that I thought I would never have again.?  Everyday is a good day for me when I realize I am awake and? still alive.?  I have developed a peaceful feeling inside, the feeling that only comes with freedom.?  I am free from my past.?  Nobody would ever mistake me for a victim these days.?  I? am God's kid and my Father in Heaven only wants the very best for me.?  I have so much more now than I ever even dreamed about.? 

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