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Storytime Tapestry Newsletter
The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural
awareness throughout the world.
Special Treat – Lopamudra Kapoor
April
14, 2006
Today we
have another new writer to add to our flock.
Lopamudra Kapoor becomes writer # 317 for Storytime Tapestry. Today is good Friday in Canada and the United States of
America. I
find that Lopamudra’s piece is very appropriate for the occasion. She lost her husband and had to find new
meaning in life; a very powerful piece indeed.
Jesus gave up his earthly life so that Christians could have new meaning
in life as well. Please email her and let her know what you think of her
wonderful piece.
MEANINGLESS?
Lopamudra
Kapoor
I have personally been through a
very rough patch; devastating, infect. I lost my husband and my elder brother
in a span of 5 months. They were both less than forty years old. Other problems
cropped at the same time. In short, my life just seemed to spiral out of
control. I ended up in a city I didn’t know; a place where I had no friends, in
a situation where I felt totally helpless. I just did not know what to do with
my time or myself.
What I did was face what had happened, which is easier said than done. I didn’t
want to admit that just after 3 years of bliss, my husband had died or my elder
brother who was like a roof over my head, had died as well. Notice that I say
“die” not passed away, or moved on. Saying this even to myself was very
difficult. But it was the truth, right? No point in shutting it out…
There is NO way one can shut truth out. It creeps in through cracks, in bits
and pieces, in shapes and forms that leave one feeling worse. Much better to
let it in, and wash over you, in its entirety. Believe me, this “allowing” self
to feel is a huge step towards moving on. I shut myself out. I cried. I stayed
in darkness. I grieved. I fought with God. But, at the back of my mind, I was
just strengthening myself to rise up, stronger and surer of myself. You know,
one reads about the power of free will and choice, but until realization sets
in, the concept remains just that, a concept.
Today, as I write this, I smile because I know now that the so-called
meaningless things in life have more meaning for the one who can see them. We
all go through life, conditioned by society and family about what has meaning…
a career, beautiful home, money, to be able to travel to exotic places, and you
CANNOT be single! (What’s wrong with you? Aren’t you seeing anyone? Sound
familiar?)… We hear it so much, read about it in glossies, see perfection
sashay down ramps on TV and see people leading a lifestyle that one can only
aspire towards. Somewhere, somehow, we start believing that OUR life the way it
is, is not good enough. We are not good-looking enough, fit enough, rich
enough, interesting enough… and we cry inside, screaming “enough is enough”,
yet no one hears, sometimes, even we don’t hear our “self” calling out…
And then, life is a drag; one feels like Atlas twice over, sucked into a dark
vortex, wondering how to deal with it.
Here’s how: Let yourself feel, let yourself go, dive straight in the dark dank
waters of negative thoughts. You need to confront each of these, before you can
let go. I liken it to crossing a river; only by swimming across will you know
the depths and understand the nature of the river. If you build a bridge, or
row across in a boat, you will get to the other side, but without knowing what
the river is like. I hope my example is clear. In short, embrace something
close so that you can let it go. Paradoxical? Yes! But so is life!
Learn to reach out to others. There is NOTHING that has happened to you that
hasn’t to anyone else and it will happen again to someone. You are not alone in
your moment of happiness or pain. But it’s just that, a moment. And last but
not the least, be grateful to life, to God, to everyone, even those people who
hurt you or gave up on you. They enriched your life’s experience in their own
way. After all, can one just survive on sweets? You need a balance. Is night
anything without day and does day have any meaning without night? Remember to
be grateful for this balance in your life. Treat everything in life as a
lesson. Learn to ask yourself, when in any situation, what can I learn from
this? Believe me, you will find something!
I am a different person, today. I keep busy, am peaceful and like waking up in
the mornings! I don’t have any secret formula to share with you, or some
magical chant or potion. It’s just that I have changed my definition of what
has meaning for me. A smile on a stranger’s face, the green of the leaves, the
sky with its multi-hued patterns, even a lone flowerpot on someone’s windowsill
makes me smile. Life is beautiful, indeed, even with all its broken dreams and
rough rides.
© 2006 Lopamudra Kapoor
Lopamudra Kapoor, Jaipur, India
lopa.mudra@sify.com
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