Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Special Treat – Jene Lind

April 30, 2006

Carol, the story An Orphan is an Orphan by Karin Janin is so typical.

Below is my story which certainly does bring to mind her true definition

of an Orphan.

An Orphan by Luck

Jene Lind

Of all the definitions of an Orphan I think the list goes on.

We do lack a sense of belonging. We are forever longing to

find our roots.

We feel different. Just like the girl who happens to live on

the "East side" or wrong side of tracks as some will say, we

even look different. Instead of being outgoing and smiling

we are constantly searching for a smile of acceptance on

our peers faces. Some even call us different and spit out

orphan with vengeance. The only difference in someone who

has parents and someone who doesn't is the one has someone

to love them. Which brings us to the next word.

Unloved. Yes, an Orphan always feels unloved. If our own family

did not care about us to keep the family circle going is anyone

else going to love us? More often then not... the answer is... no.

We are disconnected for certain. I used to hear someone say about

my friend that she looked just like her grandmother but had her

father's eyes. I did not know who I looked like. I had not one mental

image of a grandmother or a father. So I was disconnected with

this world called "family"  This also made me feel Unwanted.

Being Unwanted is the worse feeling in the world. We all want to

be wanted. We need to be wanted for a healthy spirit. If someone

"wants us" we can at least feel we "belong." We work extra hard to

please others so they will want to have us live with them, visit them,

or be their friend. I always thought I had to do things for others

constantly or they would not like me. Don't misunderstand. I never

did anything I did not want to do but sometimes it was tiring and I

did it anyway. I would be the first to go and help my neighbor weed

her flower garden when it was hot so she would like me. Or run to

Mrs. Smith's and take her laundry off the line because it looked like

it would rain. When I got older if a note was sent home for a parent

to be a room mother or bake extra cookies for class parties, I did it.

Why? So everyone could see MY children had a good mother. I never

was able to even take cookies to school, nor did my foster parents

attend PTA meetings. That was for Parents and Teachers, right?  Well,

I had no parents so again, I was disconnected. But being a good mother

is not just being room mother.  It takes work and a lot of LOVE.

And Orphan is always full of some kind of fear and they do not trust others

easily. I grew up with the fear of being sent to some "Children's Home" where

I was told they would send you to your room alone with only bread and water

to eat for days. I had a fear of being alone, so that was always a constant

anxiety for me. The worry if I didn't be good or work to please I would go to

a "Children's Home" and be alone. After all, we all knew monsters lurked under

our beds. And ghosts came out at night. I didn't know what monsters or ghosts

were as a child but I was in no hurry to find out. I didn't trust the "Children's Home".

And this distrust follows an Orphan throughout out their lives even unto adulthood.

We are never quite sure our friends, or our mates really love us. Was there an

ulterior motive for pretending to care? Are we really worthy of someone's love? Do

we work hard to please others hoping they will like us? The bottom line is: there

are those who will take advantage of a person who is an Orphan by luck. Let me

explain. An Orphan by luck is one who does have living parents but because of

bad luck those parents are no longer in your life. You search the faces of every

woman you see on the street hoping to see recognition in their eyes. You watch

the news papers hoping to see a beautiful lady in a Women's Circle or Club"

who just might look like your mother. Eventually your mind gets blurred and you

have forgotten even what color hair your mother has. You know you have grown

so tall and gotten so much bigger your mother would no longer recognize you on

the street so what does that do to your psych? It makes you completely alone.

You are forever searching...searching...searching. But you are detached. You do

not even know what you are searching for. An Orphan is one of the most mis-

understood. 

There is a saying, "Reach out and touch someone"  I am telling you now that

after you read my story it should make you be aware that an Orphan needs

for you to reach out, " And touch their hearts. " Draw them into your circle of

friendship.

Jene' Lind

ImAuthor4U@aol.com

   Jene lives in Missouri and enjoys writing. She writes to preserve history for her

   grandchildren. She also writes songs about happenings around the country.

   Floods, Que Creek Miners, the Challenger and such. It is History. Jene was

   taken from her biological family on her 8th birthday and raised by an older

   couple in the country who gave her great opportunities to learn about survival

   by using the earth's plants and such. Jene was a teacher for 4th grade learning

   disabled before her health prevented her from doing so. Now she enjoys doing

   things with her grandchildren and writing. She attended college in Chattanooga, TN

   and her hobby is writing and teaching her grandchildren to write.