MOTHER’S DAY TO REMEMBER

by Rosanne Catalano (a.k.a. R.C.Kayla)

Grandma was doing it again…“Mom! Please put the bread back,” my mom, grandma’s daughter, said as we sat eating at The Babylon Restaurant, where my step dad and I had taken my mom and grandmother for Mother’s Day. That was the second time today she had stuffed bread into her handbag!

This was a special treat, though, because for years both my grandmother and mom had always cooked Mother’s Day dinners, and we kids just brought gifts, ourselves and helped clean up afterward. The restaurant was family-oriented and not too far from where my mom, step dad and grandmother were living at the time. While it was embarrassing Grandma was sneaking bread into her bag to eat at a later time, it was also an eye opener of sorts. It opened my eyes to the fact that my grandmother felt as if she were still living in the Depression-era, when food was scarce.

This brought into sharp focus my grandmother’s main insecurity – not having enough food to eat – even though she no longer had to worry about not having enough food or money! For reasons unknown to me still, this is the Mother’s Day I remember best… maybe because right then and there I realized my grandma was a human being with insecurities, flaws and all; just like me. This is not to lessen what my grandmother meant to me – I adored and idolized her, and there were times, as a young girl, that I would sometimes wish my own mother was more like my grandmother; grandma seemed to always have time for us children, often cooked scrumptious meals and sewed whole outfits for us (dress, jacket and hat). Whereas my mom was working throughout my childhood years; she didn’t retire until I was already out of the house and working myself! Though I understood mom working outside the home, it wasn’t easy having a “working mom”. And though the meals grandma would cook when we were at her house were so delicious it made you want to stay there forever and ever, we knew we had to eventually go home to mom and dad. Mom, of course, didn’t have time to cook these kind of meals during the week, but she did cook like grandma on the weekend and holiday, and this did not include her having to clean the house, do laundry and all that’s involved in taking care of a home! My daddy did all that was required to do on the outside of the house, mom took care of the inside and worked at the same time. And Grandma took up the slack for mom and dad when she had time from taking care of her own young son (mom’s kid brother)…

I feel blessed to have grown up with two very different types of “mothers” … my grandma and my mom; one who worked, one who didn’t (though grandma did work until she retired). The example they both showed my sister and I made us proud to be women, and my sister proud to be a mother and grandmother too! Having my mom work as an editorial assistant, for a newspaper, also taught me to never depend on anyone else for financial satisfaction, only yourself! And boy oh boy, did my daddy hate hearing tales about mom’s job … and he told us later in life that mom was forever telling him what went on at her job; when all he wanted was for her to cook, clean and stay home, not hear stories about the newspaper! Guess that’s one of the many reasons why they got divorced; of course they both remarried others a few years later.

But I applaud my mom for working outside the home because her women cousins didn’t work, they stayed home with their children instead. My wonderfully loving mom was ahead of her time as was my darling grandma, who told her many nieces on their wedding day about using birth control to control the amount of children you had. My grandfather didn’t believe in birth control and therefore my grandma had no control over how many children she had, nor did her mom which was seared into my grandmother’s brain -- never forgetting her own mother was forced to give up being a teacher in America, which she had done in Italy, and had 6 children instead becoming a stay-at-home mom. All this my grandmother told me when I was a little girl, and I never understood the significance of what my grandmother was telling me about the achievements of my great-grandmother, grandmother and my mom. Yes, I am very blessed to have come from such a wonderfully intellectual family of women who were also mothers and human beings, faults and all… I am what I am today because of their loving, independent spirits.

Rosanne Catalano

ctrosanne@aol.com__

AUTHOR BIO:

Though Rosanne Catalano, a.k.a. R.C.Kayla, is publisher & editor-in-chief of The Cat's Meow for Writers & Readers Ezine (A Progressive Online Magazine), she continues to write her non-fiction/fiction short stories, poetry and articles. The Cat's Meow for Writers & Readers Ezine was created by Rosanne to complement her author web site after much publication success in a book and online. Her ezine recently received a "Bronze Award" and has gained a loyal following of readers and subscribers; Rosanne herself has received a "Golden Pencil Award" for her short stories, poetry and articles. Please do check out Rosanne's author website and the new home of The Cat's Meow for Writers & Readers Ezine at: http://www.rosannecatalano.net.