Storytime Tapestry Newsletter

The newsletter devoted to spreading love and cultural awareness throughout the world.

Column A Woman In Love

Special Treat – Saskia Nienna Streidel

June 7, 2006

About a woman in love

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The seat of love     

by Saskia Steidel-Brown

"Love is planted in us like a tiny little seat."

I wrote this sentence while I was organising some paperwork for our courthouse-wedding.

"Love is waiting in us like the seat in the ground. It is waiting for sunlight and warmth to wake it up. It is waiting for it's time. It is waiting for it's time to bloom."

I did not know where these words came from. I had never thought about that before. I had never thought about the question: Where does love come from?

I guess like most people I thought somebody would come one day and bring love along with him. But my heart knows that love is in us from the first second to the last. It is there, it it is planted in all of us.

The seat of love was planted in me, waiting quietly for it's time. The seat was not worried, it was not scared. It was just there. It was trueth!

I was not worried as well. I enjoyed my life as a Single. I loved going out whenever I felt like it. I loved to have a lot of time on my own. I loved to be able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I loved it to come home to a quiet house, to put my shoes in the corner and to spend the night on the couch, with a cup of tea and some good books. I had fun if I wanted to and if not, I just enjoyed the quiet hours. I lived with the believe, that one day love would come and be mine. And till then I lived a well organised life, enjoying, working and doing what I thought would be the best.

I do not know why, but somehow I had in mind that I would meet a man in a suit one day. This man would be perfectly organised. He would be smart, well educated, well disciplined and hard working. Sounds kind of boring? Well, those were the men I liked. I expected to meet a men who could teach me important lessons, who could help me to see more, hear more, understand more. A man who could help me to feel deeper.

The seat of love was waiting in me, but I did not know whatit was waiting for. I did not understand what kind of light, what kind of warmth, the seat needed.

I met quite a few of those men in suits. Some of them were interesting, some of them even fun, but the seat in me did not react. It just did not wake up. It just kept going on sleeping it's silent sleep, filled with dreams about the days to come.

And then came David. How did I see him? Mister Chaos! No suits, but large jeans. No organisation, but a lot of adventure. A hard worker, but work with hands, not with books and papers. David was almost the total opposite of everything I had expected. He tought me a lot, but not about the things I thought I would have to learn. He tought me about things I had never even thought about. He changed my view of the world by showing me his world. He asked me questions I had never even imagined and waited for me to find the anwers. This is the only true way to learn, because only if we find the anwers on our own, we have carry them in us.

David frightened me, because there was something pulling me closer and closer to him. There was no security-line anymore. No organisation helped me anymore. My life had to change. But the wonder happened in the background, not noticed by the fears and questions. Silently, yet quick and strong, the seat started to grow. There was no time to think, no time to organise. Suddenly the seat was a plant, breaking through the ground. Once you are at this point, there is no time for questions anymore. The seats in us just woke up before we had even realised what we had been for each other: The sunlight love needed.

Our seats grew like young apple trees. When we saw them bloom, we knew the time was right.

And now I am sitting here under the apple tree in our backyard. It is warm, it is spring. And I am a married woman now. I do not feel different, but when I look at the ring on my finger, I feel proud. Proud to be here today under this tree, writing these words.

A friend asked me yesterday, a day after we got married at the courthouse, if I would feel different now. She asked if I would feel bigger, or stronger, or lighter. But there is no real answer to this question. I feel EVERYTHING. AND I am not different than before. I am not wiser. Love did bless me, but not with total understanding. The only truth I finally understand now, sitting under the apple tree is, that there is a seat of love in all of us. It is dreaming of it's time to come. We cannot rush it. It won't grow faster, because we put chemicals in the ground. It will not grow in a glasshouse or under the light of a lamp. It is waiting for it's own sun, for it's own warmth, and we cannot trick it. We can only be happy to carry this seat and believe that, once the seat is awake, it will grow and grow, into the sky.

Will this make life easier? No!

Will it make us better humans? Not necessarily!

Will it give us what fairy-tales promise us: A life happy ever after? Most likely it will not be that easy.

But while I am sitting here, I feel the warmth and I feel a million chances growing on my tree of love. Do you see the tree blooming with opportunities?

Which one will I take? Which one will I let go by? I do not know yet and I do not want to be asked.

All I want to do is to sit here, writing and smiling. Blossoms fall down on my lap, on my diary, in my hair.

And today I know that this is the only truth I need to know.

Saskia Nienna Streidel

Saskia Steidel

Elmstein, Germany

Email: saskiaofthewoods@yahoo.de

Saskia Steidel loves the "Playing with words" and the "Letting the thoughts live on paper". She loves old fairy-tale books, columns and Bio's.

In Germany, where she lives, she worked on some poetry-projects and an art-calendar. 2003 she published her poetry book called "Am Ende der Nebel" (In the end the mist). She also publishes articles about child development and creativity and kids. So far she worked just in Germany. But now she also has a monthly column in a Canadian magazine. The column is called "Food For Thoughts".

Under the name Ivy Brown, Saskia writes children's books.

Saskia Steidel went through quite a few jobs - salesperson in a shop, secretary in a lawyers office, ticketmanager for a soccer club, nanny - till she finally understood that all she wants to do is to write and to work with kids. This is what she does now. And she studies again: musictherapy and learntherapy.

Saskia lives with her (soon to be) husband and their three indian-walking ducks Fred, Grace and Marilyn in a small small village in the woods of the South-West of Germany.

Interests: children's books, poetry, creativity and kids, parenting, animals,...

Love,

Saskia
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